A Tribute to My Father on Fathers Day 2018
A Tribute to My Father
Whenever I think of my Father these days, I get choked up. Because he's in the end stages of Lewy Body Disease and a shadow of his former self.
He is in Frail Care as he can no longer walk or feed and clothe himself .He doesn't know the difference between left or right, forward or back, he doesn't know which day of the week it is.
He appears to recognise us at first when we visit him but there's no way to be sure as he's not able to communicate as he did before.
He talks, he still has an extensive vocabulary but none of his sentences make sense anymore. Sentences are broken, thoughts pop up but he can't connect the dots. He chats away, sometimes to us, sometimes just to himself.
Some days he beams at us, other days he is tearful. Some days he is laughing one minute and crying the next, for no apparent reason.
Some days he will ask how we are doing but he doesn't understand the answer.
We can't really enter his world entirely and he can't enter ours anymore.
Tears well up in my eyes a few times a day as I worry about his wellbeing and prepare for his passing.
- How much does he understand of what his life has become?
- Does he realise how little he is able to do for himself?
- How little he understands these days?
- How little he has left?
These are the thoughts that sadden me.
(My Dad as he is now, with my 4-year-old son. His Grandchildren still light up his world).
To understand the tragedy of my Dad's situation you also have to understand who he was before this disease started robbing him of his faculties.
My Dad was a Minister. He was a very scholarly man and a great Preacher. He also was very sensitive and caring man. He gave wise counsel and spent hours every week doing pastoral care.
(Picture above: My gorgeous bonus daughter, my two older brothers and my Dad officiating at our wedding).
I always enjoyed my Dad's sermons as they were always filled with such love. He never preached fire and brimstone, his focus was always on Agape, God's unconditional Love..
Although My Dad could stand up and preach every Sunday, he was actually quite introverted and a deep thinker. We all (my Mom,my two brothers and me, his parishioners) came to him for his sage advice.
When one of my best friends was shot and killed a few years ago, it was my Dad I called. I was living in her flat at the time in Johannesburg. My Dad hitched his trailer to his car and drove all the way from Cape Town (1400kms/870miles) to come fetch me and my belongings and take me back home to safety.
My Dad was always someone I could depend on to be there, no matter what I needed.
I miss him so much.
So here's to my beautiful, loving, generous, kind, wise and wonderful Dad. My Hero.
(My Dad and Mom in years gone by)
This is one of the poems my Dad wrote. It was published in "Soulfully Seeking - An Anthology of African Verse" by the Poetry Institute of South Africa.
To all Fathers... Heroes to your children, to your Grandchildren...
HAPPY FATHERS DAY
May your children honour you and shower you with Love and affection today. Be blessed.
All the best
Recent Comments
67
Great story. My story with my dad would take a journey half through the United States, through more than a dozen assorted passions he called jobs but you knew there was love in every minute doing. It's one of service to others, sacrifice for us kids and my mom, of being middle class, of being homeless, of surviving a depression and numerous recessions, to being a steadfast provider too proud to take a hand out and always earning every dime. Dad was a child of God but never found a church whose doctrine could hold him. He read the word, loved his God, and gave freely to all who were in genuine need.
My dad was tough as nails except when he wasn't and he died a lion, choosing his own time. He promised my mom one last valentines day together and passed a short time after on the exact year he said would be his last. I was a daddy's boy, built tough and strong but gentle where it counts. I feel his spirit in me through life challenges when I feel the fear become the fight and rise back asking the devil if that is all he has. Like my dad, I seek a church where doctrine doesn't outweigh the word. No books of Mormon, no Common Prayers, and Absolution by mortal men and bowed to idols. We believe as God said, to the true Christian God's word will be revealed.
My dad had 3 kids, my half-sister who passed away 30 years ago when we lost her and my infant nephew to a drunk driver in Jacksonville Florida. My brother who is still with us and in the next room right now and me. We are still as close-knit as ever and fight our battles as one family. Currently, my mom and brother have provided us with shelter during this time of transition with my mental and physical health while my wife and I seek new employment skills and jobs we can do. We all fight together and love deeply and that is something my dad taught us all.
Thanks for sharing your story,
Andy Zeus Anderson
Shoo, Andy. Thank You for sharing your powerful story.
My heart goes out to you at this trying time.
You are in the right place. All will be well.
What, a story, Andy!
The "Church without Walls" , is the followship, of Christians, outside, of the concrete!
Soldiers, out everyday, doing our part!
Sounds, like Dad, knew the secret!
Thanks, for sharing...
Barb
Dearest Lauren,
The love within this post has brought me to tears!
Blessings to You and Yours on Father's Day!
Barb
Hi Lauren!
Aww, that was very touching happy fathers day to him. It's must be very sad to watch his life come to an end like this. I'm praying for your family best wishes.
Francesca
It is, yes, Michael. Its been on my heart to write a tribute for him for ages and this seemed the perfect moment.
Truly heart breaking, both my mother and father are gone and I will be attending my brother's funeral this weekend. do not know if you are religious but hope you would find strength in God's promise of the resurrection of the dead.
Aw, so sorry to learn of your brothers passing, Garfield.
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time.
Thank You for your message of hope.
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Your heartfelt words reached my very core, my dear Lauren. That first photo totally melted me, welling up tears as I continued to read your through your pain and praise. How lovely that you have honored your dear father in such a touching way. I feel like I know him through your words.
Today is very sentimental for me, as well. My loving Dad went to be with the Lord, and to join my Mom, 5 years ago this October. I miss him so much, especially on Father's Day, as I always celebrated with him in person every year. I miss them both so very much, but was abundantly Blessed to come into this world as their daughter.
My prayers continue to be with you, your Mom and family.
Erin :)!
Aw, Thank You Erin. My heart goes out to you today as you remember and Honour your Dad and Mom.
I think both yourself, Lauren, and Erin too, can take a lot of comfort in the fact that your dads have played such a massive and important role in your lives and helped to nurture you into the wonderful and vibrant people that you now are.
Best wishes
Heyday
Thank You so much for that thought, Heyday. You are so right. We are blessed to have had such wonderful parents.