How to say "No" effectively!

11
3.1K followers

While I was at the gym this morning I was chatting with a friend, she mentioned the difficulty of saying "NO" to people. And this afternoon a client of mine says the same thing. Why is it saying "no" to people makes us uncomfortable and sometimes feel guilty about it? Which, shouldn't be the case.

Learning to say "NO" in a tactful and positive ways will help you feel at ease and successful in a different situations.

  • Hold the call- some people really love to talk, and if you cannot end the call quickly, arrange for an alternative time that you can have that conversation and add it you day time.
  • Unwanted visitors- if you must drop in on someone place, be courteous and ask if it's okay to stop by. You'll want that same courtesy extended to you so it's important to model the behaviors that you want to receive.
  • Let them down gently- it's common to feel uncomfortable telling someone that you can't do something for them, especially if asked, however sometimes, you just can't lend a hand even you want too.If you genuinely want to help, but not right now, let the person know. The person should understand your earnest desire and will feel supportive even though you said "NO".
Just say "NO".

Saying "no" is inevitable. How you do, reflects how other see you... as well as your opinion of yourself. Be upfront and direct when dealing with others.

When you must say "no" do firmly yet gently. Massage the message so that even a "no" doesn't feel like rejection.

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Recent Comments

12

For those that have trouble saying the word no, I find there are also other ways to say no: Sorry I'm unable to, sorry don't want to, sorry can't do it.

Good advice

thanks Shawn!

Great post and so true. Good job!

thanks Kathy!

I think 'No' is one of the most important words in the English language and yet you're right, a lot of people find it extremely difficult to say. II wrote a very short blog about it last year. http://bis-confidencecoaching.com/blog/2011/10/02/whats-the-most-important-word-in-the-english-language/

Thanks Beverley!

Excellent article Beverley!

This is very true, and again it's a case of being out of your comfort zone. Most of us find no to be very difficult, with the biggest problem being first to actually say no, coupled withnthe underlying fear of what people will say about us if we do. However it is amazing how acceptable the word no can be if used in a gentle way - it's a case of trying it and seeing the outcome
Regards
Hudson

I think is also depend on how you were raised, I grew up to say yes all the time just to be polite, but glad that I was able to learn how to say no when I moved to foreign country and must admit I'm good at it now :)

"No" has become my favorite word. You have to practice it, otherwise your life will be taken over. If you are good-natured and accommodating, that's nice, but it'll cost you if taken to extreme. You
have to set limits. You can read my article, if you like: http://www.streetarticles.com/friendship/i-dont-want-to

It became mine too few years ago....

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