Just Launched: PhlegmLM, The Latest and Greatest MLM!

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2.4M followers

After years of contemplation and intense discussion, today marks a very significant day for us. Today we are making our entrance into the Multi-Level Marketing industry with our latest and greatest product offering, PhlegmLM.

There are over 1 BILLION colds in the US annually and a symptom of a cold is that annoying “phlegm” you get in your throat and nose. Today we have the answer to that product with our specialized PhelgmLM nose sucker products, which is going to be the foundational building blocks of the PhlegmLM corp.

No more horking up chicken mcnuggets every time you need to clear your throat, you can deal with the problem and do so safely and efficiently with our patented, doctor approved and tested product line.

This is truly your opportunity to get in early, this is the ultimate “Sucker” mlm business with unlimited downlines.

The Compensation Plan

The compensation plan is out of this world, set up to be one of the most lucrative in the industry. With unlimited levels, there is an infinite possiblity to recruit new people into the program.

Remember though, we are not about "recruiting" people, we are about getting people into the program to try our products. Even though people may never try out products without becoming a distributor, that is fine. Our product is brililantly priced for maximum commissions and our structure is set up so that the more people you recruit, the more money you will naturally make.

If you don’t feel like promoting anything at all, that is fine as well. Simply promote people into the PhlegmLM scheme, so they can do the same to others. You will earn commissions on the very fact that everyone coming into the program has to purchase the ability to promote the program to others ($299 Starter Kit).

Does this business model sound familiar? Well it is.

We have modeled this after some of the most lucrative MLM schemes out there, we want a few select people that get involved in this to get very rich!!!!

There are literally unlimited levels in this program. The only way to run out of people in this program is when you run out of people on Earth. So based on today's world population, there is the potential to have over 7 BILLION people in your downline.

Feel the potential? I do, coming at me like whooooosh!

The Products

There are two products that are going to be available upon launch. These are game changing products and from our preliminary testing, we have found that people that use these products are able to achieve results 100% of the time.

Product #1: Pon Zee, Adult Sucker.

The Pon Zee is a complex, yet very useful tool for sucking the snot right out of you. It is the adult version of the snot sucker and there truly is a massive audience of people that fall into the Pon Zee sucker class.

Product #2: Pura Mid, Child Sucker

Kids get plenty of colds as well, we get it. The Pura Mid product is touted as the best snot sucker in the industry, primarily by others that are using the snot sucker itself. Rid the phelgm of the little ones and you can almost sleep easy at night. They are the ones that have been suckered, not you. Just remember that.

You simply hook the sucker up to a loved one, a friend, a work acquaintance, even a stranger if they are having symptoms of a cold and have Phlegm to clear.

Why MLM? Sell Stuff for More Money, Regardless of Quality.

Over the years, we have often times been very critical of the MLM model, but we see the power of having multiple levels and have people not just distribute and sell our amazing Nose Sucker, but put a great deal of emphasis recruiting others into the program.

There are few things that you need to do in order to take part successful in the PhlegmLM scheme. There are several techniques that you can institute here.

(1) Buy a business Builder Kit.

This comes with your own Nose Sucker and Phlegm Party Kit where you can host parties and show others how this is truly life changing. It literally sucks the cold away and it won’t take much convincing. This kit is only $299. Normal price on these nose suckers is $499, so this is deeply discounted to you as new distributor. With each kit you get marketing materials.

If you want your OWN templated, copied website, you can also purchase that for an additional $49 per month.

(2) Post on your Facebook or Instagram (or both) 20-30 times per day.

You can do this from your phone, your laptop, even while you are sitting on the toilet. That’s what I call a portable business. So easy, anyone can do it. You might annoy your friends, but the ones that get annoyed are probably not your good friends anyways. If they can't support you in your money making venture, they should get out of your way.

(3) Throw parties every week.

You can invite your friends, family and even people you meet at the local coffee shop. Get them to your house, get some chips and dips and throw an epic "nose sucking" party.

The thing is when you have people in a live setting, it becomes incredibly awkward for them to say no to you. Over the internet, email or over the phone, it is all too easy to get shut down.

(4) Talk about it everywhere you GO.

Your day should be constant marketing. Everyone that crosses your path is a potential recruit. If you see someone that is sick or has a runny nose, perhaps you can show them a live demonstration as to how the PhlegmLM products work.

Show them the opportunity to get others into the program, you will not only be making new friends you will be building your downline.

PhlegmLM Masterminds

There is also going to be a branch of the MLM compensation plan that is going to allow you to attend the Masterminds, where you can socialize and network with other like-minded folks. You have probably heard the “Get to the Events” statement in the past, and this is something that we are really going to advocate.

These events are not cheap, but there is a reason for it. The speakers, whom are going to be the top PhelgmLM distributors are going to be millionaires. All of them. You are going to learn how they use their nose sucking ventures to get other people into the program.

And the cool part, if you attend an event you can promote that very same event to others and earn commissions. But if and only if you pay for that particular event.

We have 5 different types of events, and we will be offering up to $50,000 in commissions if you can get someone to take part in the top tier, be all end all Mastermind. To see the full commission structure of the masterminds, please scroll down the page to the "commissions" section.






















APRIL FOOOOOOOOOOOOLS!!!!!!

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Recent Comments

353

LOL. I just finished reading your opinion on MLMs on one of your sites, which I really related to...so when I saw this headline I thought...oh no...I got suckered again...Kyle's a fraud! That thought only lasted a second and I read the rest with a smile on my Face. Debbie

LOL, funny stuff as usual for April's fools day.

My favorite is the one about the Million Dollar Niche :-) Have a good one.

I had you from "PhlegmLM", lol. Even though I didn't fall for the April Fools, I must say I had lotsa good chuckles at the entire pitch. Having lived through a (way too long) career in MLM, your "presentation" was so spot on - you must have had a blast writing this up, teehee!

Now wait just a minute!!! You don't have versions of this for pets?!! Do you know how sick and tired I am of having to deal with slobber from my dogs when it is time to feed them?! It goes everywhere and it gets on my pants and takes forever to dry!

A sucker like this for dogs would be wonderful to deal with the slobber easily and efficiently! This is very disappointing! You always think of people first!!!








;)

Good one. Funnily enough I had just read someone commenting on a Facebook status about hating April Fool's Day, and then lo and behold, the next post was Kyle's WA post. I knew it was coming but that first post alerted me, I'd forgotten until then it was April Fool's Day. Love the product names. Last year's joke was a great one too. You are fantastic with words Kyle, always make me laugh, well done.
Ange

You fooled me. I forgot that today is April fools. I could not believe you promote an MLM business after not long ago I read one of your post about how strongly you disagree this kind of business programs. But in the end, I was like..huh.. thank god it was a joke.

You made my day! Even when I sensed from the beginning that it was an April Fools blog, it was so hilarious that I kept reading. It made it specially visual the fact that I do actually have a cold at the moment.
Great job Kyle!
Happy April Fools!
Hisbel

You got me on this one, while I was trying to figure out how should I do it to my club members. Lol lol lol lol. You got me. While reading I was going through my Bazi team, prepaid legal Services etc etc. Lol. I even wanted it to be a uni- leg structure so I can rush and get in before Jay, Loes, Steph, Rob, Paul and all the heavy hitters and just sit back. Lol lol
Bishop

Ha Ha,

I know a bit about snot suckers, I had nose polyps high up in my nose for a very long time and I had an operation to have them removed, and many of visits I had the nose suckers up my snout sucking it all out, you could see them doing it on the screen, Yuk!

The actual operation was an all night visit, a couple of years ago.
I still have to use the Saline solution water, it`s cheap enough for a litre, and it washes out your sinuses.

I viewed some of the snot suckers on the internet and one name is nosefrida sucker.
I choose this video just to show how it looks:
http://fridababy.com/product/nosefrida/

I remember my grandma when I was still young. Not only her but the whole community does the sucking. No materials used but directly done through and by the mouth. Suck the nose of an infant by your lips and there it is.

However, I haven't seen an adult sucking other adults nose, lol.

I am wondering how these suckers look like especially the one for adults. I am thinking that it would be a machine.

Maybe doctors should develop more of a medicine that stops phlegm so people will not problematize having a sucker.

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