My Real Job
I no longer have a "real job" I walked out from my position as a Finance Officer in a busy school - a job I loved, but sadly I didn't get on with other people who I worked with in the office.
I put up with it for six years - I worked there in all for thirteen years, but after seven of them, my nightmare started when a new member was added to the office staffing structure. If anyone has ever worked with (or lived with) someone with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder (I'll talk more about this in another blog), then you'll know what it was like.
I classed it as Workplace Bullying - and because of her nature other staff, my manager, and the headteacher included didn't have the backbone to stand up to her. I tried on several occasions but these people just took her side and it was me against them.
Eventually, after walking home in tears every night for several weeks my husband said that I couldn't continue as I was, and it was time to go. I didn't hand in my notice, because I couldn't stand the thought of working another day with her. I could have gone off sick - and maybe I should have, and strung it out so that I got sick pay before finally leaving, but I didn't want the contact with them.
I think I did well to put up with it for six years, I made two complaints about her, but nothing much was done. I also put in a grievance against her when I walked out, but again, she got the backing of my manager and the headteacher and the grievance went against me - I was made out to be the liar.
That was eighteen months ago, and although now we are struggling financially, it was the best move I ever made. I don't regret leaving and I never will. I now feel that I'm the better person (although she will never think that - a trait of Narcissism is thinking you are better than everyone else - as I say more about that in another blog), - instead of hiding away from her, I attended an event recently with other members from the school and I went along knowing that she would also be there.
I still have many friends who work in the school, whom I have kept in touch with and I hear many stories about her and how she still continues to be a bully.
Some people don't realise (or maybe don't care) how much they hurt people - I kind of feel sorry for her (in a way) because her disorder is a mental condition and she might soon find that she loses her friends because of it.
Recent Comments
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Leaving or separating yourself from that situation was the second best decision you will ever make. You may be struggling financially. But remember, you made the best decision you will ever make when you joined the the WA community. Your financial struggle will not last long!
Dealing with a difficult situation in the workplace, it requires mental strength. You're a strong woman. I think you made the best decision, Pauline. Blessings and happy weekend!
Ive just come out of a 4 yr abusive relationship with someone with NPD, the fallout of which has far reaching and devastating consequences for me and I'm currently off work and suffering from PTSD an having counselling .I could write a book about NPD , don't feel sorry too sorry for her they have no conscience, feel no guilt and are unable to show or feel compassion or empathy . In her own mind she is right and nothing and no one will convince her otherwise . You did the right thing to walk away , wishing you well xx
I am so sorry that you had to deal with that kind of behaviour for so long, Pauline. You did the right thing for your own health by leaving.
You made the right choice and show how strong you are to deal with it for six years. Things will get better financially!
I try to avoid or deflect difficult people in the workplace. It's not always easy to do. I'm sorry you found yourself on the wrong end of things, Pauline. My best wishes to you-Rick :)
Pauline, I was suspecting this. We went through exactly the same thing.
For me, it was a household service job in an institution.
A silly mistake because a practical solution was forbidden due to people walking away with the job half done.
And of course, this forbidding was bidding the mistake to happen, and it did - to me.
Incredible, how everything good you did before suddenly turns bad......
It becomes distorted, reflecting something that never happened......
And WE are always the ones accused of having no insight.......
Yes, I believe we should meet so.eday, we'd sure have a lot to talk about!
Fortunately, I have found something else, but it's uncharted territory for me, and I hope it will work.......
Cheers
Therese
I'm sure we would have a lot to talk about Therese. Life can be so cruel. As you say, we have both found something else in WA and I hope it does work for both of us, as I never want to work in a "real job" again. Thank you for commenting
Thanks, Pauline!
I'm not quite ready yet because the bills are too large to take that risk presently, but I'm always on it in my free time, and discovering new avenues to implement the websites......
5 years and 11 months too long, when you ask me:( Sorry you have lost your job over something as low as bullying. But it gives you excellent time to work on your website:)
I was determined not to let her beat me Loes, but over time she got the better of me. As I say I also loved my job and there were other staff that I could talk to and they made me feel better - she wasn't well liked at all.
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keep up the good work, your dreams will come true.