toxic personalities you should avoid
A toxic person is anyone who is abusive, unsupportive, or unhealthy emotionally—someone who basically brings you down more than up.
Quotes: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Jim Rohn
These words opened my eyes to the fact that the people we hang out with, the people we call friends, they all have an influence on the decisions we make in life, and therefore the success we have or don’t have. Many a times we are tempted to believe everything they tell us.
“Don't let anyone deceive you. Associating with bad people will ruin decent people”. Bible
Businesses, families, institutions, organizations, and governments ruined because of toxic people who have been allowed into the systems.
Unfortunately, not everyone pushes us to be better or reach our goals. Some people stop us from following our dreams or talk us out of taking a risk, and we don’t always realize that it’s happening. So it’s important to be aware, guard and consciously choose who we spend time with, to limit spending time within toxic people.
Personalities like these for example; you should avoid when chassing goals:
The Complainers
Complainers are people who are always complaining about how bad their life or job or whatever is. They constantly complain about everything but never do anything about it.
Being around a complainer can really poisoned you—maybe you begin to join in on the complaints, and before you know it, you adopt their same way of negative thinking and start conduct yourself like them. That pessimism is contagious. That is why you should think twice before sitting down with a complainer.
“Do not be fooled by those who say such things. If you listen to them you will start acting like them.
”Bible
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Never give it.”-Eleanor Roosevelt
Avoid people who focus on your weakness (your past) instead of your dream.
The Conformers
Conformers are the most popular of all. They are the ones who conform to the limits set on them. They do not have any dreams they are chasing after, and they are not doing something that goes against the status quo. They are simply living like robots—waking up, working 40 hours a week at a job they hate, going home, sleeping and doing it all over again.
There are many people who are content with this, and that is perfectly fine. But a person who is following their dreams simply cannot conform to the average life. So while working your full-time job, put in the extra effort on the side to start building toward something that’s more in line with your dreams. And eventually you will be able to leave your day job to pursue your passion full time. Quote is from Success Magazine
The Doubters
Doubters can be downers—they will listen to your big dreams, but they will be the first ones to tell you they don’t think it is a good idea or not to get your hopes up. They are the ones who believe you have to “be somebody” in order to do something extravagant. They cannot act on anything you have agreed on. These people should not think they will receive anything from the work they are doing; they are double-minded people, unstable in all they do. And they kill your passion and desire to do what you want to do.
As somebody who is chasing their dreams, this can be very discouraging and frustrating, so identifying the doubters in your group will be beneficial to you and your success in the future. Likewise, it is extremely important to keep supportive people around you, people who encourage you and lift your spirits when you are losing motivation.
So, surround yourself with people who will support and encourage you to chase your dreams, through the good and the bad. Your success depends on it.
Here are some signs that a person is toxic:
- You're left feeling emotionally exhausted after an encounter with them because he didn’t add any value to you.
- They try to intimidate you to get their way.
- They try control you by guilt tripping.
- They are easily jealous.
- They give backhanded compliments. ...
- They overshare.
What is toxic trait?
- A toxic trait is a behavioral pattern that is deleterious to either the person himself and/or the people they are connected to. By enacting the trait(s), they create a negatively charged environment around them that fosters nothing but stress, anxiety, depression and the likes.
Dealing with toxic people
Avoid playing into their reality
Some people have a tendency to see themselves as the victim in every situation. If they mess up, they might shift the blame to someone else or tell a story that paints them in a more positive light.
You might feel tempted to nod and smile in order to prevent an angry outburst. This might feel like the safest option, but it can also encourage them to see you as a supporter.
Don’t get drawn in
Dealing with someone’s toxic behavior can be exhausting. The person might constantly complain about others, always have a new story about unfair treatment, or even accuse you of wronging them or not caring about their needs.
Resist the urge to jump on the complaining train with them or defend yourself against accusations. Instead, respond with a simple, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” and leave it at that.
Talk to them about their behavior
Someone who gossips, manipulates others, or creates dramatic situations night not realize how their behavior affects you or anyone else. An open conversation may help them realize this behavior is unacceptable.
To keep things neutral, try to stick to “I statements,” which feel less accusatory for the other person, and set boundaries that work for you.
Here are some examples of this in action:
- “I feel uncomfortable when I hear unkind things about our co-workers. I won’t participate in those conversations.”
- “I value trust in friendship, so I can’t continue this friendship if you lie to me again.
Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life.
Enjoy your personal transformation and radical change as you move forward in life.
Give it like, comment and share with others.
JohaneG
Recent Comments
111
Great post - yes we all have one or two of those in our loves - the people who like it when things go wrong for you. There's a saying:
Never tell your problems to anyone....
20% don't care and 80% are glad you have them
I was surrounded by those types of people at one point a few years ago but I've given them all the boot and feel much better for it.
Excellent action for you Alexandra. That is wisdom and responsibility for your future. You are highly appreciated.
Perfect post, Johane, so true. Majority of people are conformers and complainers, unfortunately. It's better to stay away from them as much as we can and if you have to spend time with them, know how to deal with them, as you suggest.
We all need support and encouragement and WA is a great place for that.
Good morning Johane,
I hope you're doing well. Thank you for your excellent and informative blog post; it's appreciated. Unfortunately, I believe that most of us have come across this type of person; thankfully, I haven't found too many!
I always remember when I was at Bible school the Principal would tell us to run from negative people, I have always taken his advice on this subject! We need to avoid people who are going to bring us down! It is so important to have people around us that build us up and encourage us to reach our goals.
Have a great day.
Roy
Hello, Roy! Thank you for your excellent comment. Wishing you the best and to keep that standard of positive lifestyle and change your environment and not environment change you.
I have known some toxic people in my life, even in my own family, and it was difficult to deal with them. Years ago, I kicked a toxic "friend" out of my life, and after I did it I felt such relief wash over me, it was one of the best things I had done.
I recently decided to change the people in my life (with some exceptions, of course), and only surround myself with the ones that are uplifting and supportive, no complainers, no doubters. Luckily, many of those uplifting and supporting people, we have them right here on WA :-) Being with such people makes all the difference.
Yes, Christine, WA is a place of peace and joy. It is indeed a place of togetherness and caring. Thank you many many times for your feedback and comments. Blessings upon you forever.
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Hey Johane,
It's my second time reading your post (I bookmarked it).
I feel like it's somewhat therapeutic to read, especially living with two extremely toxic people. Your post reminds me to keep my ground and to avoid these people at all costs.
Toxic people are like black holes, they try to drag you down with them. The only thing we can do is keep our distance and watch as their "inner star" is annihilated by the gravitational force of fear.
You're a good man, thanks for sharing!
- Stefan
Hi Young man! I am so overwhelmed by your feedback. Keep reading it and for others also. Then actualize it in order to change your environment. I wish you the best. You are great young man.