Love or Fear? The Choice is Yours
I am a hypocrite.
I have said one thing and done another. I have had my own beliefs but have buried them to fit in. I have tried to be what I thought others wanted me to be, while denying my own thoughts.
It’s possible to do this for a while. In fact, it’s possible to do it for a long while. And sometimes you might even begin to believe what you’re saying.
But there comes a point for most people where they have to decide whether to keep up the charade or whether to tell their truth.
There’s a story I heard a long time ago about an old country store. You know, like the one in the Waltons TV show. There’s a porch with 2 rocking chairs and an old worn wooden floor. One day a man walks up to the store to find a hound dog lying between the rocking chairs moaning and crying. He goes to the store owner to find out what’s wrong with the dog.
“Oh, he’s in a lot of pain,” says the owner.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“There’s a nail sticking up from the floorboards and he’s lying on it. When the pain gets too great, he’ll roll off.”
I’ve been that hound dog. I’ve complained about situations and people and then, like a good North Dakota Nice girl, have said positive things to their face. I’ve done that. I heard someone long ago call that Sport Bitching: bitching for the sport of it.
And I’ve done it.
I’m learning now that life is too short when you’re young to waste that precious time in Sport Bitching mode. And I’m learning now, too, that life is too long when your body outlives your mind, as I’m watching my mom struggle with the effects of dementia, to waste any energy complaining.
What’s the opposite of suck up? I think it’s buck up. Instead of doing what you’re told when it goes against your values, be willing to buck up. To stand up for what you do believe, but not in a way that denigrates someone else. To not be afraid to have a differing opinion, especially when it’s well thought out.
Because there are only two ways of seeing the world: Through the eyes of fear or the eyes of love.
When you choose fear, you will begin to believe that people are out to get you. You will twist peoples’ best intentions to fit the mold you’ve created in your own mind so you can be right. But if you choose to see the world through the eyes of love, you will see that even fear has a place. It’s to keep us safe. It’s not about eliminating fear from your vocabulary, it’s seeing it for what it is: a signal and contrast.
Choosing love means standing for DIALOGUE - suspending previous assumptions in order to learn from each other - and being REAL in your communication. It’s assuming positive intent, not negative.
It’s being OPEN to learning instead and possibility instead of closed in probability.
I was doing the best I knew how. But now I know better. And hypocrisy doesn’t look good on me. In fact, it makes you look worse TO me, because everything looks yellow to the jaundiced eye.
So I’m giving up my hypocrisy. I’m going to suck at it at first. I’ll fall back and make mistakes. And you’ll remind me of those mistakes, I’m sure. But I’m going first. Because love looks a lot better on me and to me than fear does.
Love is all you need, said John Lennon. Is that it? Really? What if it is?
Small steps in the direction of an intention will make a positive difference when that intention is positive. The same is true if the intention is negative. When asked to write an essay answering the question “What’s wrong with the world?”, G.K. Chesterton gave a 2-word response: “I am.”
May each of us learn to give the same response to a new question: “What’s right with the world?” I AM.
Recent Comments
1
Love this! 🙌🏼💕💕