I finally did it!

52 followers

5 years ago

Per WA's request, i'm writing my first blog (literally).

I actually joined Wealthy Affiliate 4 years ago. I was not in a good place then. I was living in an RV. I had just turned 50. My prospects were not good, career-wise, and I really didn't want to keep pursuing my former career, which was as a mildly successful visual effects artist. I wanted something more! The problem was that at that time - and for quite a while after that - I really didn't know what I wanted. I had no actual vision of what success looked like for me personally. At that time I was very curious about how to make a living online. There were obvious upsides and alledgedly unlimited earning potential. I looked at everything!

But because of where I was in my life, I had no confidence. I was afraid. And I didn't have much in the way of financial resources. It didn't help that a staggering number of the online money making programs were being rated as scams, and nearly all of them required an initial investment of some kind, which I either didn't have, or could not afford to risk.

I found Wealthy Affiliate, and it all sounded pretty good. They were not asking for any money from me, and the focus seemed to be purely on training. I would have free access to help from knowledgeable members for seven days to get me started. Sounded pretty good. So what did I do?

Nothing.

My lack of confidence in myself kicked in hard. It told me that there was no way that I would learn enough in seven days to be able to do anything constructive. It told me that when the seven days was up, I was on my own - unless I wanted to pony-up the premium membership fee. It told me that right now $50 was a lot of money, and I just could not afford to risk it. And I listened to that voice of no confidence. I let my fear guide me. I walked away.

Four years later, my life has improved a bit. It's been a journey for sure. During that time I moved from California, to Oregon, and 3 years ago I landed here in Colorado Springs. I've worked really hard for those 3 years, improving my living conditions and lifestyle - but only a little bit. Also over that time period, I really began to formulate just what a successful life looks like to me. It's pretty clear now what I want for my life. The question is/was: How do I get that life?

I had a moment of clarity a few weeks back, and took a hard look at where i've been, what i've done and how it got me here now. I clearly saw the broken confidence, and most importantly, the fear behind it. I forced myself to look hard at the crushing reality that despite all that i've learned, despite all the effort expended...I had virtually nothing to show for it. Worse still, I knew that I only had myself to blame. It hurt, but it was sobering. My response this time was different. Instead of getting angry at myself for being such a failure, I chose instead to recognize that though I put myself in this position, it logically followed that I had the power to get myself out, and into the life I actually wanted! The moment shifted from painful to powerful! I made a commitment to myself to turn it around, and look outside my personal "box" for solutions that could work. I made a commitment to myself, and it felt good.

Walking the Earth for 50+ years my experiences have given me the ability to manage my expectations without talking myself out of my goals. I know that what I want to acheive is going to take some serious work. That's okay. I'm not afraid of work. I've done some very hard things, sometimes for very little in return. When I rediscoverd Wealthy Affiliate, I saw that they could provide the need direction, and I knew I was ready for it. I proved it to myself by coming up with a fairly extensive first list of passions and potential niches!

And so, today I reinforced that commitment to myself by becoming a Premium Member of Wealthy Affiliate. Because in order for me to do what I need to do, I need that access. I won't deny myself the opportunity to take advantage of everything this company has to offer! I will take the risk because I know that I am worthy of a better life! I made a promise to myself that I would do what ever it takes, and that any risk associated with my choice today is all within me! That's a managable risk!

I won't lie. I'm still a little scared. The personal demons within that have held me back are still in there somewhere, waiting to strike when I'm most vulnerable. All I can do is watch for them, and when they appear try to refocus on the commitment that i've made to myself and keep moving forward! I've done it before, and I know that if I don't feed them those demons will go back to whatever dark corners they emerged from. What really helps with that too is what I mentioned a few sentences back: managing expectations.

This is a long read, I know. But if you've stayed with me the whole way, I appreciate that you took the time to listen, and all I can say is, "Thank you". I'm feeling really good about being an actual part of this community, and it is my wish to be a valuable addition to it. I am really excited about all that WA has to offer in terms of training. I've promised myself that I will make the most of it. What I do with it is up to me, and I can do A LOT! I know that today I am starting a journey that might actually have a "pot of gold" filled with wealth in all its forms waiting for me just down the road!

How cool is that?!

Stay tuned, and thanks again for reading!