Succubus
In life we have givers and takers. The role tends to switch based on circumstances and situations that we find ourselves in. However, there are those people that LIVE and exist solely in a takers role. They are what we call a succubus.
They will take...take your energy, take your money, take your inspiration....If you allow them too they will take everything and they will return it with nothing (if you're lucky) if you aren't lucky they will return it by making you feel guilty or responsible for not having more to give them.
I know some of these people. It took me a really long time to realize that I could love someone unconditionally from a great distance. Turns out my love for someone doesn't change based on what I can provide to them. How they view my love is what changes.
Whats the point of this post? It's ok to cut a succubus off!! We don't owe others pieces of ourselves. That is a gift and we can choose when to give it and when to keep it.
Don't loan out what is yours to people that have bed credit with you :)
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As Steve Maraboli says:
“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”
Hello JD!..
As I am reading your post I remember the story about the man that never likes to give and only likes to take. He finds himself drowning one day and another man close by who wanted to help him said,"Give me your hand!" and even while he is drowning he refused help because he heard the word give. So another person who knows the drowning man was passing by and shouted, "He doesn't like to give!..you have to tell him take my hand!" So the helper said, "Take my hand!.." that's when he started reaching out to be saved.
Hi Jen,
I have found over the years, that when YOU, change on the inside, something happens, with what is happening on the outside, the people that you thought mattered don't anymore , the attachment goes, which means, that those that don't match, your change just drop away...and somehow you see through them more clearly.... The best thing ever, my guru used to say to me, NO one can make you do anything you don't want to do, you have just realized it.... Let it go without attachment.. You will feel free....
Big hug... Bea
Stay strong. You are a giving person and taker will be on you like a magnet. Positive and negative. You are doing the right thing by distancing yourself
Self preservation. You have a group here that care about you
Those succubus types don't have a chance anymore....Poor dears unfortunately for them I woke up
Just move on. We don't negative, demonic, crazy, narcissistic, accusing, gossiping nor just plain stupid people in our lives.
I have gotten better at cutting people out. I use to feel like I was being selfish. I finally realized it wasn't me that was being selfish
It broke my heart to break off a friendship because this woman did have some good qualities but she was being very self-righteous, and I didn't feel comfortable with the remarks she would make of other people. She always wanted to 'one up me' with anything I said or did.
So, I told her I was too busy with my own life and wished her all the best in her life. It hurt to do so but I don't need a 'friend' who doesn't really listen to me and she only brags about herself. I have also learned that it isn't selfish to set up boundaries and surround yourself with good and kind souls.
Jennifer - We must be kindred souls. Or you are clairvoyant!
I had two "friends" today who tried to "do me in" in a job search effort. Your post above helped a lot!
Thanks,
Steve
I hate that we can logically put quotes around the word friend, because we understand that word isn't the same everywhere
Right back at ya dear friend. Needed the hugs today for some reason. They are MUCH appreciated!
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Turn the tables and be a taker for a change...that'll shock them! Because you are so generous! It's like acting, enjoy the act...
I'm not sure I'd be convincing lol
With a bit of practice......lol!