A fight to end all fights
In a typical day I'm actually quite simple to get along with.people in my life have described me as the "old school house mouse" or my personal a "domestic submissive". I'm fine with being seen this way. Because for anyone that really knows me knows that is only a piece of me.
Yesterday, I'm not sure why, but it seemed as though the population of Utah had secretly conspired to see where my breaking point was. A lot of things piled up really fast that all came across as bearable. And then a mother in the neighborhood thought it would be a brilliant idea to insult my girls down at the park.
My kids are my limit!!! I'm a kind person. And I forgive and forget a lot of things without giving to much time or energy to the negative aspect. This was not like that.
My family is multi racial I refer to us as beautiful mutts. This lady saw my girls (skin tone wise you'd never guess they're related) and she asked of they were friends. They replied yes, and we're sister's. She said "don't treat me like I'm stupid white girls and brown girls can't be real sister's, your parents just led to you"..... I'm what? I walk their way only hearing pieces of this conversation and ask what the problem was.
"You "children" (she did air quotes no lie) are either stupid or are liars" I take in a deep breath cause she used two words we don't use in my house. I told her that I would strongly suggest thinking very carefully before speaking again. At this point my girls have huddled behind me.
And then she said "everyone knows that "sister's" like that all end up screwed up addicts or whores." Seriously?? Who raised this woman? I calmly and sternly told her " your ignorance and presence is no longer desired at this park." She grabbed my arm and thus began the "changing ignorance" education course 101.
An hour into the lesson about genetics and the history behind my kids lives she started crying. She was a foster kid and had a line of excuses to be the way she was. Through various foster homes she learned racism and intolerant behavior. She hated my girls for having and knowing things in life that she never had. My kids felt for her and gave her hugs. I did not! I will one day, but yesterday was not that day and today isn't looking promising.
Hate is learned, i believe and support that. But it's also a choice. And when you actively choose to spread it you are as much to blame as those that taught you. We get to decide what we believe and we also are responsible for our actions.
Adults have got to quit relying on their childhood to excuse bad judgement, hateful actions, and ignorant speech. It's not okay and I'm really tired of living in a world in which people feel it is.
Sorry about the rant... once I get things outta my head I always feel so much better
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You sound like an amazing person with great resolve and passion for life.... I can only dream of surrounding myself with more people like you :)
Your vibe attracts your tribe. You've got a great start by being the change you want to see in the world
Wow you handled that so well. You have way more tolerance than I would have. Hopefully things start to tone down. Your girls are very sweet for still giving hugs despite her comments. You're a great mom!
They are an example to myself one day I hope to accomplish their unconditional love for others
Amen Jennifer, I agree with you 150%. I am tired of all the hate and prejudices in this world. Our Creator created all of us and we are all brothers and sisters.
Dale
Proud to see you handle this situation the way you did. and the care for your family is the first priority, Stay motivated and happy.
My grand parents came across from poland and chec. I am the second generation in America, and with the last name pollock. i grew up with the pollock jokes, and there was some hard times there.
because i had a New York accent, the school district in Utah made me go to speach school for 3 years so I could talk like them.
It should never matter what color of skin, or vocabulary, race etc
we our all people and just want to be treated equal or the same.
You are Awesome. Have a great day.
Utah has a knack for trying to tame people that aren't quite like themselves. It's the biggest fault this state has. Thank for reading and sharing your story. No one should be forced into a box just because others don't "get" then
Hey, you hung with her until she broke and told you who she really was. That's an accomplishment, whether you realize it or not. She may have been changed, if only a little, by the love your girls have for each other and the love you have for them..
I hope she's a better person for it. Though it wasn't my intent if I'm being honest. My intent was to educate my kids via lecturing a stranger.... not the purest of motives.
In my life, I have sworn that Respect in the first gesture or movement towards any person, ecspecially if I initiate the contact.
The person can be 100 years old, a few months old, or any age in between.....
Colour exists, but only to express beauty, and there are endless colours of beauty in the human race, and within families!
By the way, what is the Course 101?
Course 101-when it comes to genetics, it's that while Dominant traits tend to win out in breeding there's airways the possibility of a cone back from recessive genes. Throughout out generic makeup there loud many recessed genres. So I explained that to this women. My oldest daughter looks very Polynesian my genes were very dominant. (She's my younger for kids biological half sister) my other the girls have a varied skin tone from tan to very pale their eyes color ranges from pale blue to green to light brown. My son is like my oldest daughter. This happened because of the recessive traits winning the dominant ones. That did not define their relationship as siblings.
I don't believe she was expecting a science class. But the best way to combat ignorance is with facts lol.
I ended it with just because she didn't understand her generic line didn't mean she could insult ours. Which ultimately what caused the breaking point for her.
Kids don't hate - if someone is nice to them, they will be nice in return. They don't notice a different skin color - it's adults who teach them to feel that way. We all come into this life one way and we will all go out the same. We bleed the same blood. Some people are just a different shade, and so what, who cares? I certainly don't. I have posted yesterday and today about bullying and will not tolerate it. I am so sorry that your lovely girls had to hear the ignorant ramblings of a stranger. You are a fabulous Mom and can be safe in the knowledge that your girls will never show that same kind of ignorance they were subjected to.
Thank you Jude. And I'm so happy that here bullying is acknowledged and discouraged rather than ignored. My girls were okay I think I'm the only one still bothered by it. The kids told me "mom you said when people are mean it's because it's something they hate about themselves. You say to help people live themselves will help them live everyone"..... Sometimes I wish they would just let me be a hypocrite for a few minutes lol
Lol...from the mouths of babes! Keep on being the great Mom you are and they will have a great example to follow :)
Its unfortunate that your beautiful daughters had to endure that painful experience JD. But, the even more beautiful outcome is that what you have taught them through the years allowed them to look past this person's ignorance and show her love. Great Job!
Sometimes I regret teaching them such forgiveness. But that's only because I'm still angry and I tend to feel ashamed when I can see them let it be what it was so simply.
That's alright Jennifer. Racism is a very painful thing. I know what it's like for people not liking me because of my race, calling me the N-word. It's alright to have that rant about racism because that shows you that you are very pissed off about it. God made you the way you are and we all have to accept that. When I see people I see no color, I just see people. If the whole world would see things like that, this would be a better place to live.
I agree we're all people and I for one believe everyone's got a little of everything inn their bloodline somewhere.
It's okay to be angry--nothing gets to me like injustice. Makes me fighting mad. You already know that for your sake and your girl's you have to let it go. As for the woman, like I said before, you will never know what change you may have started in her life. God takes bad things and brings good out of them. Your daughters are absolutely precious!
I will indeed let it go. I've gotta teach my kids how to reclaim their sanity when someone's trampled on it. Get kids came over to play with my kids today so there's a Starting point
I dealt with misinformed opinions and ill conceived logic. I am trying so hard to stop the cycle.
I need to learn how to keep things too myself. I've been told I'm too blunt. That's a social aspect I lack
Know you don't! Honesty is always the best policy!
I have been told that a lot over the years myself but one thing about it is people always know where I stand.
Dale
See that's my philosophy as well. I'm honest to a fault. And it makes it quite difficult to maintain certain relationships
When it comes to politics nowadays I stay out of it. Missy because I'm genuinely concerned for the nation given our current options
The emails are the hardest place for me to find focus lol. I hope you get through your lesson
I gotta figure out a way to get through my lessons. Right now I'm watching something on OJ Simpson. This show has something to do with race.
Darn distractions. I quit following anything to do with OJ everyone turns a murder trial into racially fueled fiasco.
This is a documentary on ESPN, a 5 part series. I'm going more towards him being guilty. These ESPN 30 for 30 documentaries gives more detail to understand what really happened even if it's controversy.
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I am really impressed at your humane attitude, it is very inspiring!
I didn't think I was being humane. I would not normally feel the need to educate someone merely because they thought differently. This one only happened because my kids were involved
It could have turned very nasty......you handled it well.