Frustrated and Itchy On The Inside.

Last Update: May 28, 2019

Im really out of sorts, definitely balls 1, 3 and 4... mostly 3 if Im honest.......

Im so frustrated, I feel itchy on the inside, as if I have an itch and cant work out where it is to scratch it. I know the reasons, but that doesnt help me find the resolutions.

I have an inability to say no.

I live in Spain, out with my son who is a junior international tennis player. Over time people have come and gone with their kids, theyve moved onto other academies or their kids have grown up and gone to uni or whatever... but periodically they want to come back here for a week or two to train, get some sunny days etc.

I have one particular 'friend' who always makes me feel that shes doing me a favour. When actually all she has done is manipulate me into doing what she wants.

We go to Rwanda on June 12 for two weeks then move onto Kenya for another two weeks (hence my frustration with jaaxy right now which adds to my feelings of ball no3) - so I have a fair bit of organisation to sort out, notwithstanding all the work I have here to do with SAC which is actually what I REALLY want to be doing.

My 'friend' texts me... 'we are thinking of coming out for 10 days so your Lucas gets to play with my Ollie..... ' - my Lucas doesnt like playing with her Ollie - hes 19, thinks he knows everything and makes derogatory comments to my son, on just about everything.

The dates shes coming means I have almost no time at all from next week until we leave for Rwanda. So I lied.... 😢 I can't say no, because knowing her she would come up with some way of making it all work for her anyway. For her to come stay in my area of Spain in June for 2 weeks we are talking about $3000 just for accomodation. Its high season.

And especially booking it this late.

Would I come get them from the airport??? Oh great, a 2 hour round trip for me and no offer to pay for the fuel
It also would means my boy gets kicked out of his room, so we can accomodate her and her son.

But I lied....

I said my mother was coming. I just couldnt say no. God help me when she gets here and my mother isnt here.

As it is I can see that I am going to be ferrying her around, shes already told me that she isnt getting a car for her stay. The supermarket is quite a distance and shopping is not possible without a car.

I dont understand how I have become this person who cant say no... I am very forthright in my opinion of things, but I generally sort myself out and dont ask others for help. I am very determined as far as my son and his tennis is concerned and have had to have some very forthright meetings with his coaches in the past.

This 'friend' has made an artform of scrounging. She was very good at it when she lived out here, but as I didn't sit round the tennis club drinking, or joined in their mixed tennis mornings, I didnt notice so much until much later into our 'friendship'. I now see how it happened.

Ok rant over...

Im sorry I lied, but for self preservation and my son's sanity, I had to. But tonight I feel quite down and frustrated with how this week is panning out.

On a positive note, a month into SAC with a brand new website, and I have started seeing traffic !

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dragonfly10 Premium
Helen, I understand your situation. Some people are impossible manipulators. I also had one that kept working her way into my life. It is very difficult to maneuver around her. I finally just stop answering her phone calls. That did not work she showed up at the door. At that point, I was just cornered with nowhere to go, So I just said no. And came out and told her I had my life crisis to deal with. She was very mad. But like you, I have a 15-year-old son, who started college last year and needs a lot of attention. And my WA responsibilities. I think the part that hurts the most about these individuals is they know, we can not handle their life problem, and they still keep expecting more and more from us, They are selfish people and we can't let them bring us down. As difficult as they are to deal with we must not let them impose then needs on us. You taking care of a gifted son. Find your joy in him.
Pedrone Premium
you have to do what you have to do!
but sometimes it's better to get to the roots and eradicate the problem forever! other than just trim some branches as they will regrow stronger, so you get even a more frustrating time ahead!
anyway, good luck and hope all work out for you!

LLettau1 Premium
I generally use the straight talk approach and let the chips fall where they may. Hope and pray all works out for you.
Helen123 Premium
Thanks Larry.. I know that’s the right thing to do but she has personal issues and I hate scenes..
Swangirl Premium
I know how you feel. I have experienced similar people. It was dragging me down so badly and I didn't know how to get out of it. It was like a living nightmare. It was with a co-worker and I knew it would make a huge scene at work if I ever stood up to her. She had serious health and mental issues at the time and it was an impossible situation. She blamed me for everything but considered us good friends.

I am glad you are not going to have to deal with her. Either she drifts away or you will have to tell her No at some point. For now you have done well to fix the situation. There is no way you should have to deal with a person like that when you need to be ready for an international trip for your son!

Congratulations on your new website and traffic!!!

Helen123 Premium
Thanks Jessica, I appreciate hearing I’m not alone with sort of problem.
bonzo124 Premium
When you start focusing on positive things like the super affiliate challenge or anything else you like and want, the negative people and things will start to fade away.

I was at the same place three years ago. Then, I joined in WA, started reading some great books, and learned new things. I had decided to change everything.

Fast forward to today, everything is different. I have new friends, a new amazing girlfriend, and do things I enjoy every single day.

I do not waste time anymore on anything negative.
Helen123 Premium
Thankyou for your support.... I can be so firm with most things, but with this it has floored me. I will not let SAC slip through my fingers, it is too important.
TheCatherine Premium
Hey it's ok not to be perfect. You have your priorities. The clue is in the name. Prioritize.Congratulations on making headway with the traffic and SAC. As for the rest you don't have to deal with it now.