Frustrated and Itchy On The Inside.
Im really out of sorts, definitely balls 1, 3 and 4... mostly 3 if Im honest.......
Im so frustrated, I feel itchy on the inside, as if I have an itch and cant work out where it is to scratch it. I know the reasons, but that doesnt help me find the resolutions.
I have an inability to say no.
I live in Spain, out with my son who is a junior international tennis player. Over time people have come and gone with their kids, theyve moved onto other academies or their kids have grown up and gone to uni or whatever... but periodically they want to come back here for a week or two to train, get some sunny days etc.
I have one particular 'friend' who always makes me feel that shes doing me a favour. When actually all she has done is manipulate me into doing what she wants.
We go to Rwanda on June 12 for two weeks then move onto Kenya for another two weeks (hence my frustration with jaaxy right now which adds to my feelings of ball no3) - so I have a fair bit of organisation to sort out, notwithstanding all the work I have here to do with SAC which is actually what I REALLY want to be doing.
My 'friend' texts me... 'we are thinking of coming out for 10 days so your Lucas gets to play with my Ollie..... ' - my Lucas doesnt like playing with her Ollie - hes 19, thinks he knows everything and makes derogatory comments to my son, on just about everything.
The dates shes coming means I have almost no time at all from next week until we leave for Rwanda. So I lied.... 😢 I can't say no, because knowing her she would come up with some way of making it all work for her anyway. For her to come stay in my area of Spain in June for 2 weeks we are talking about $3000 just for accomodation. Its high season.
And especially booking it this late.
Would I come get them from the airport??? Oh great, a 2 hour round trip for me and no offer to pay for the fuel
It also would means my boy gets kicked out of his room, so we can accomodate her and her son.
But I lied....
I said my mother was coming. I just couldnt say no. God help me when she gets here and my mother isnt here.
As it is I can see that I am going to be ferrying her around, shes already told me that she isnt getting a car for her stay. The supermarket is quite a distance and shopping is not possible without a car.
I dont understand how I have become this person who cant say no... I am very forthright in my opinion of things, but I generally sort myself out and dont ask others for help. I am very determined as far as my son and his tennis is concerned and have had to have some very forthright meetings with his coaches in the past.
This 'friend' has made an artform of scrounging. She was very good at it when she lived out here, but as I didn't sit round the tennis club drinking, or joined in their mixed tennis mornings, I didnt notice so much until much later into our 'friendship'. I now see how it happened.
Ok rant over...
Im sorry I lied, but for self preservation and my son's sanity, I had to. But tonight I feel quite down and frustrated with how this week is panning out.
On a positive note, a month into SAC with a brand new website, and I have started seeing traffic !