Feeling So Down Today
So today I am at an impasse and its affecting my ability to get on with my WA work. My son always tells me to stop stressing about stuff, that they will sort themselves out eventually and that my stressing causes me more worry and unnecessary anxiety that I really dont need to expend all that energy worrying about something that I really cannot change.
My son, as you know is an international tennis player... well we have told him that he cannot go straight onto the pro tour at 18. He is a very bright boy and we want him to go to university first. He has been doing US high school online with a school in Oregon and has a 4.0GPA and he took the ACT test for the first time back in September and got 29.
He is being recruited right now for a few schools in the USA and one in particular is very keen for him to go, but as he is an international junior, will not offer much in the way of tennis scholarship in the first year as they have already recruited two US players from the same state so don't have a lot of money left for my boy in the first year. This will change for year 2.
So they said, get a bit higher on your ACT ( hes booked to take it again in December) and the academic scholarship will bring the fees within our affordability bracket.
But.. now here is the crux of the problem that is overwhelming me today....
The application for the scholarship has to be in by Decembe 15 and his ACT test is December 12, the result will not be known until December 17....
I cannot see a way around this impasse and what is really frustrating me is that we had a first test date booked back in April this year, in Aberdeen.
Two weeks before we were due to travel, the ACT cancelled the test. No problem I hear you say, just book it again.... well hold on a moment,... my boy has accommodations (dyslexia) and not all test centres offer the facilities... so when i went online to try and rebook, there were NO dates at all free! Because they had cancelled so 'late in the day' NOTHING was available and no further dates were released until July (when I booked the September and December dates so he would get two chances to take it)
The ACT, like the SAT is a test you can take more than once and indeed they recommend you do that, as like all tests, it takes some getting used to, especially as my boy hasnt taken any external tests before.
I now feel that due to the cancellation in April which should have been the first time he took an external exam, this has adversely affected my boy's chances of getting into this particular school, a school that he didnt think would be interested in him, a school that he really wants to go to..... and all because the test was cancelled in April.
I had had that date in April booked since the previous OCTOBER!
I didnt see the implications back in April, that this could potentially have such a knock on effect on him. September should have been the resit, the chance to improve the score, not the first attempt.
I just cant get all this out of my head.....
Recent Comments
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There is always a solution, sometimes it is better to release a little pressure and the solutions end up appearing. But problems without solution does not exist. I'm sure you'll be fine.
Ingrid
thanks Ingrid, even talking about it here has really helped and today things are not as bleak as I felt yesterday and they're not weighing on my mind so much that I can work today.
There are academic scholarships that he may qualify to offset the sports scholarship differential. Worth looking into.
Helen. ..it will be ok. Trust me. I have 20 years in higher education. Test scores are just a small part of the admission criteria. As a student athlete, where he wants to go and coaches who want him will be the biggest factor. How many spots they have. Your son needs to continue to do well in his tennis and in school. Yes. He needs to get the ACT done asap just to get it done. Relax and enjoy time with your son. Help him get better from the recent injury. Use the time to study for the ACT. They make it sound worse than it is. If he's good in schoil, he should do fine. It will all work out ok!!!
Christine
Thank you Christine, he is working on the ACT as we speak.. He has a programme called prepscholar online that he has been using but found there weren't enough example questions for the reading aspect, this is the bit he finds the toughest, so he's found another called prep factory for ACT so he's using that as well. He has a 4.0GPA but they have told him that a higher score will give him more academic scholarship to offset for the first year.
The good news is that he does have an ACT score, so he's ok. He's in such a stressful field in tennis. Stressing on ACT won't help him get better. With a 4.0, he knows his stuff. Does he work with somebody on the mental side of the game? Those techniques will help him with academic side as well. Hope he's feeling better.
Christine
Thankyou Christine, he has a sport psychologist he works with, so hes more chilled than me... he keeps saying ' mom its all going to work out ok' We talked to his coach this evening, (who was late for the meeting because he was talking to two coaches on the phone about him) and he's said that there is no rush. If he misses the scholarship at this particular school, then it wasn't meant to be. He said that it boosts egos when top schools are beating down your door to get you to sign but there are more to come and we need to take time. He also said that two coaches are going to be coming over to see my boy so we all need to chill.
I feel better than I did this morning, I hate having things unfinished but with this I really am going to have to learn a lesson.
This is one of those do all you can to prepare...and y'all are. Trust your skill, trust your training, trust in God (or whomever you pray to) Things happen as they are supposed to. It will be ok.
Christine
We feel so down when we think that there seems to be no solution to our problem. That is because we think that a solution is made only through the human means. We forget that there is also the divine means. I don’t know of your belief but the means from Above is more powerful than the other. Why don’t you try asking for it. As it is said, “Seek and you shall find, ask and it shall be given, knock and the door shall be opened.” Who knows, it might be given to you if you believe. —Cheers!
I do pray Benjamin, but I also feel guilty doing that because Im always asking for something. I do give thanks for what I have but it always seems that I am asking.. not for myself but usually for my children.
Good that we pray. Never tire of asking either for you or your children. What we ask may be granted, thanks for that. If not, it may not yet be the time or not granting may also be for our own good. Remember the story of St.Monica and her son, St.Augustine. Let us depend on His ultimate wisdom.
Helen,
Like Twack has suggested, write an email, requesting extenuating (or special circumstances) to extend the date by 2 days.
Write your email without emotion just stating the facts and asking for what you want for your son and why you want it.
In my view Americans seem to be a lot more accommodating than here in Europe and are wanting people to succeed and help where they can.
If for ever what ever reason it doesn’t work then it’s not meant to be and something else will turn up. It always does.
Deep breath and meditate and try and be in the moment, don’t project forward, or calamatise. This is what is always being said to me, when I start to panic, get anxious or indeed stressed and irritable, I end up taking my frustrations out on others in a misdirected type of anger.... I am sure that isn’t you but I can hear the worry and anxiety in your email which will have a negative effect on your mood...
Helen you have got this and I am sure you will find a way round this, it’s just difficult for you to currently see how at the moment. But one bit at a time.
🤞
I think I have a handle on this living in the moment business, then I go and do it again... worrying about something that hasn't happened yet..
He's injured right now, coming back from a stomach strain and I'm worrying whether he will have enough ranking points to get into Roland Garros next year, he's had to pull out of two tournaments, last week and this week. Roland Garros isn't until next June.
I wish I could stop doing it, all I do is stress myself out.
Thankyou for your thoughtful words, I know you are right, if this doesn't work, something else will.
Good Morning Helen,
Cheer up girl as the last word has not been spoken yet Grab the bull by the horns, you have nothing to lose.
I think Twack has given you sound advice, a letter or email might do the trick. As a foreigner, you might get away with a bit more than a U.S. citizen. Just as in Spain, being a foreigner is often beneficial as, in general, we are treated with that extra bit of flexibility.
Greetings from the south of Spain, Taetske
Personally, if it is an option, I would put everything you've just said here, either in a letter or e-mail, to the school that is offering the scholarship. Maybe even a phone/skype call, to see if they will extend the application date for you. Not all rules are set in stone and sometimes they can be accomodating, especially if it is in their favour, as it would be by having your son attend.
Thank you! Not being from the USA I am always nervous about not sticking to the rules. If it was the UK I would have probably rung them up and discussed it, but I am always careful about sticking to the regs when in another country - like here in Spain, be accepting of the rules, respect the country.... So that's why I thought it shouldn't ask for special treatment. I will speak to the coach, maybe rather than me, he could approach the admissions. Thankyou !
You're welcome Helen. If they refuse your application because it's past the deadline or if they refuse to extend the deadline then you're no better off. Do whatever you need to do because as it stands you can only be better off, you have nothing to lose.
Absolutely right... Ive got my boy to email the coach to see if he thinks I should approach them or if they will. Thankyou! I do feel better thinking about it now
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I hope it all works out Helen.
Ray
Thankyou!