Does Lack Of Confidence Sometimes Make You Feel Stupid?

Last Update: June 07, 2019

So I think y'all know that I am doing the SAC this year (Super Affiliate Challenge). This was a big step for me, because I have certain OCD traits.... Things have to be perfect... If they're not, then I have to redo them until they are. I have been know to tear out pages from my notebook because my notes weren't neat enough!

I trained as a nurse back in the day, (BC) and as a staff nurse, in charge of a ward, if my notes from the previous day were not neat enough, I would re-write them before the start of the shift.. If something is worth doing, its worth doing well and all that... But I can make it an artform...

However, this isnt so great when you have deadlines. I have to keep the deadlines given to me by the SAC. Its important to the success of my business and thats what I want more than anything else. Like my title says 'Dream Big & Make It Happen.... I am dreaming big and I am going to make it happen by keeping to schedules set in the SAC.

But I feel itchy on the inside... It has taken me a few weeks to understand what is wrong. I have been thinking that it is the disruption to my schedule with the travelling with my son - we are off to Rwanda and Kenya next week. But its not that, thats part of it but not the whole of it.

The bottom line is that I can't spend the time on each article that I would otherwise do. I have to keep going and thats the real cause.

I have taken various steps to try and reduce this frustration (inside itchiness) and I have gotten comments on my articles, to see what others have to say and whether I am actually hitting the mark with what I consider to be less than perfect articles. The comments ( apart from the ones that didnt bother to read them, and I have discounted them) have been totally positive, they have been really excellent comments and it made me feel really pleased that they could not see the lack of perfection.

I realise that this is lack of confidence....

An example.... As some of you know, my son was hospitalised in Namibia with food poisoning the night before his tennis tournament started. I was all for changing flights and going home, no way could he play, his preparation had been ruined by this.

He wanted to wait and see how he was when he got on court. Well as you know, he went on to win not only the doubles final but the singles final too..... So his preparation was horrendous yet he pulled it off! He had confidence in his tennis and he said he knew when he did get on court, that he could do this! Perfect preparation for the tournament wasn't necessary, he had the experience and ability to cope.

As part of the SAC we are to blog at WA three times a week... I havent managed this yet, because I really dont think I have anything to say that anyone would be interested in. I think I am pretty much run of the mill. Everyone knows more than me at WA and I don't honestly feel that I have anything of interest to tell everyone. Yes they all know about Asana, and Tailwind, and Dropshipping and low hanging fruit... the sorts of things I am writing about on my website. I have no new news.

But when it comes to my website, I don't have this problem because my target audience is one that knows less than I do about affiliate marketing and I really want to tell them everything I know .... hence the OCD on the writing front. It has to be perfect, I can't forget a thing otherwise I am not doing my best by my audience.

This is a difficult road for me right now, I know others face way worse, but I will not give up, Im not a quitter, thats one thing that I am proud of. I have big dreams and I will make them happen !

Join the Discussion
Write something…
Recent messages
Babou3 Premium
It's never easy to get out of our comfort zone, we often feel helpless before realizing we need to do it. When we do something good for ourselves, we always end up being proud of ourselves, just don't hesitate to seek support from loved ones and the WA community and keep moving forward. So continue what you do, you're on the right road.

Have a great day!
Ingrid
Reply
RAFStuart Premium
Some of the SAC is difficult for an awful lot of us, we just have to try our best.
Take care,
Stuart
Reply
kpercival55 Premium
Thanks Helen...
You have put a voice to feelings many of us have.
Hopefully the continued acceptance and encouragement of the community will help to overcome our self doubts.
Keep up the great work!
KyleAnn
Reply
Tirolith Premium
I agree so join the clan.
Reply
CordeliaN Premium
It’s a tough road you have chosen, but how often are we told about stepping outside of our comfort zone, accountability and all that, but my word the pressure can be harsh..
good luck with it, I am looking forward already to your next blog...😁😁
Reply
Helen123 Premium
Thankyou Cordelia. the support here is amazing !
Reply
CordeliaN Premium
👍
Reply
Talk2Ray Premium
I know what you mean Helen. It is a battle we must fight. A battle between getting it perfect and keeping up with goals. Hoping for the best for you.
Ray
Reply
Debs66 Premium
Hi,
You know sometimes I wished I had those OCD traits. I don't mean that to be crass. I am more thinking of some of the things that I don't do right. If I double checked and rechecked then I wouldn't have to back track.

You know I am with sac also. I haven't blogged inside Wealthy Affilliate for a long time now. It doesn't bother me and I will when I have something to say.

Please do not sell yourself short as you know you are going to be fine. Sometimes we think our traits are the worst when in all hindsight they can be the best.

The most important thing is your website and keeping that in tip top condition with OCD can be of great help.

If you feel you don't want to post here than don't beat yourself down for it. I certainly don't.

The most important part is building out content on your website. If you need help shout me out anytime you like Helen. I am always hanging around Wealthy Affiliate.

I am so happy your son was OK after his bout of sickness. Tell him I said Hi too.:)

You just keep doing what you do. As far as I can read from this post and seeing you active in Live chat and other areas of Wealthy Affiliate you are doing absolutely fine..

Helen you are amazing. Keep being you.

Debs :)
Reply
Helen123 Premium
Thanks Debs! Sounds like you're doing awesome here too, you have positive thinking and not bothered by the small stuff.... Thanks for your support !
Reply
Debs66 Premium
You are so welcome. I have my moments too.

Helen you are living in Spain That was my home for 20 yrs and I miss it terribly.

I was back there in the south of Spain last year. I am hoping to get back again this year.

Where are you from in Spain if you don't mind me asking :)
Reply
Helen123 Premium
We live in Sotogrande, Andalucia. So the very southern Spain, 20 minutes north of Gibraltar. Where did you live?
Reply
Debs66 Premium
I lived in Alhaurin De La Torre and also Benalmadena I know Sotogrande. If I get out again this year hopefully we can meet up and have a coffee or a glass of Wine.
I love Spain. I had the best years of my life there for sure...
Reply
Helen123 Premium
I know Benalmadena, on our route from Malaga to Sotogrande... For sure...tell me if you're coming! It would be so good to meet a fellow WA'er!
Reply
Debs66 Premium
I will for sure. Those roads have changed so much. I couldnt believe the difference when I was there last. I even got lost lol and I know Spain like the back of my hand or I used too. :)
Reply
LauraFuller Premium
Helen, I know exactly what you mean about OCD. I have had to let some things go. It has been very hard but I just do it and don't look back. Even though it weighs heavy on my mind I still move on. This is a first for me and very big growth. If I can do this I know you can also.

Two other things, I always have respect for you because my mom was Helen and she was also a nurse so you gained my respect from day one.

And the WA blog is only one time a week. I am pretty sure. If not then I too am wayyy behind.

You are doing a great job. I have seen your work and it is spot on.

Laura
Reply
Helen123 Premium
Thanks Laura ! I know you fight a daily battle to get things done, it does feel easier knowing that we are in this together!

Thankyou so much for your kind words !!
Reply
LLettau1 Premium
I think you are selling yourself short.
Reply
AffMktgRt Premium
Helen,

Thanks for sharing your personal journey and SAC status with us here.

I can understand a few of the issues you have elaborated on.

I will just say that you do not need to feel that you do not have anything to say or to share here at WA.

There are members here who live in small countries and even on small island nations and yet the common things we share as humans are as real for them as they are for any of us. We can all write, however, lacking or perfect but we need to write as part of the SAC as well as for our own blog posts, reviews, comments, etc.

I can tell you that, I do not have a problem writing, however lacking my writing may be or however of a little I get in terms of comments.

Someone astutely mentioned here that the "social" type posts tend to get tenfold more comments than those which enrich our technical skills. It is inherently part of human nature, and it is nothing wrong to share joyful or sad moments with the community. I only wish that there was a better balance in that, otherwise we can easily turn this platform into something more like Facebook than into what WA was intended to be a "knowledge based" platform.

Here is what my overall take is though.

I can almost guarantee you this to be true universally for all WA members.

Let us say a WA member is in an elevator in a high rise building along with other 5 or six people, presumably going down to the lobby at the end of the workday.

Let us assume that the elevator will suddenly stop and will remain stopped for hours.

Invariably, because of their common plight, the people will start to communicate and talk to each other. At first, and throughout the time the are stuck up there it will be about their plight, but if it lasts for hours, they will talk about other subjects as well, in between rescue team announcements or updates.

While it may not be the best environment for it. due to the large amount of time they would be stuck, if our WA member will start to talk about affiliate marketing, all other talk about irrelevant, pardon my French, garbage TV shows and mindless sports, will not only be eclipsed but they will outright stop.

I am not showing our WA member to be some Tom Cruise or McGyver type who rescues all others but given the dead time while waiting that WA member will educate, enlighten and empower all the others.

All the others, who would have otherwise talked about, pardon my French, garbage TV shows and mindless sports.

Do you see what I mean?

We have knowledge we discount.

We know and can do things others can't and would love to learn and pay for to do so.

We can virtually liberate and empower hundreds of millions and billions.

Do you still think you have NOTHING to write about?

Do you still think you LACK CONFIDENCE when you can do the things you do which others will not even venture to try?

Forget about perfection for a minute.

God took 7 days to form its creations. Number 7 is understood as a symbol of that.

Let us start with a solid 5 and add to it and make it shine as we carry on in our mission to educate, empower and set free hundreds of millions.

I hope you know that I am not being critical of you or anyone, but we need to recognize our role as part of the "knowledge industry".

We build it and..

They will come.

I close with a brief verse from the lyrics of "Life For Rent" by Dido:

"But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy
Well I deserve nothing more than I get
'cause nothing I have is truly mine"

I hope you can see so much more in you and in all you do, because I do, and so do all other 1.4 million strong WA members.

Blessings

PS: I am not boasting, but is not like I sat down and planned this comment, it just flowed, however flawed it may be, straight from the heart as I would do with any other WA member here.
Reply
Helen123 Premium
Well that blew me away ! Maybe its more that i am hiding my light under a bushel and should let it shine... with all its flaws, into the darkness of people's knowledge, knowing those that know it will mentally tick it off in their heads and those that dont will absorb the light.

Have an awesome weekend !
Reply
AffMktgRt Premium
That was my simple (few hundred words) comment.

A better shorter and wider comment would have been this:

"Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house."
Matthew 5:15

Blessings!
Reply
Twack Premium
Such are the barbed claws of OCD. The perfection you seek, is indeed internal and no matter how much external, what's the word, confirmation ? Positive critique ? you receive, it will not 'scratch' the 'itch'. Then, I'm sure you know all this. All I can say is that the standards you set yourself will always be higher than those who you are trying to give value to, your audience. Sorry, not finding the right words tonight, on other days I would delete and start again and again and again but for you I will let the 'itch' carry on itching, which in itself should help qualify at least part of what I'm trying to say.
Reply
Helen123 Premium
Couldn't have said it better myself... feel better for knowing Im understood !
Reply