Why Do People Help Others?
I was asked to help load a horse into a float this morning (that's a trailer for my US horsey friends). I didn't want to, my first reaction was to say NO.
But as I was asked by a friend at my stables who was worried for her safety after last trying to load this horse, so I said I would try.
So why do people help others even when they want to say no?
A quick story for non-horse people. The way they were doing it the person has to walk into a confined space in front of 500kg of nervous, scared horse that needs to be occupying the
same space.
As you can imagine my friend was worried she was going to be hurt in this scenario.
I have been taught to do it differently and I needed about half an hour with the horse and the float to change the horses mindset about getting into the float and calm the whole situation down.
I think I am generally a fairly giving person, and the reason I didn't want to help, was I knew that the other people who would be involved would not just stand back and allow me the time and space I needed to make this work.
And they didn't! As a result the horse was not only nervous and scared he was now confused! Predictably it all went pear shaped to the detriment of the horse and they resorted back to the old way of getting him in. No humans were hurt thankfully.
I should have stuck to my guns and said NO!
So why did I feel compelled to say yes I would help when every fibre of my being was saying "you know this isn't going to go the way you hope"?
Why do we every day here in WA help others, potentially to the detriment of our own businesses? I know a lot of members spend a lot of time:
- answering questions in live chat;
- replying to blogs to offer congratulations;
- offering feedback and comments (often with no return);
- checking out issues on other members sites when requested;
- and researching and finding old blogs to provide links to answer questions in the most thorough way possible.
This all takes an extraordinary amount of time out of their day when they could be working on their own blogs.
Do you think they, like me today, might want to say NO, but some other force compels them to say YES?
Why do some people automatically jump in to help, time and again, and yet others do not?
What type of person do you need to be to give so unselfishly of your time and knowledge to help others? And why are they drawn here to Wealthy Affiliate?
So that's my musings on the human condition today, please feel free if you have some insight to comment below.
Recent Comments
17
Hi Heidi. Thanks for clearing up the float thing. I do appreciate that. :)
Why do we help others? That's a great question. Maybe it's how we are raised. Maybe, it is just something that is ingrained into our characters. Maybe it is because of the golden rule... Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Success & Happiness,
Wendi
I often find it difficult writing what I hope will be an international blog with the terminology difference here in Australia. The US market for horse people is so much bigger than ours, I need to be constantly aware that people may not have a clue what I am talking about lol.
I sometimes wonder if the current generation has forgotten the Golden Rule Wendi. Some days it seems like it's every man for himself in the offline world. So refreshing to come here and find it isn't completely gone.
Thank you for your reply.
So true. That's one of my favorite things about Wealthy Affiliate. I love the pay it forward mentality.
Have an awesome week ahead of you.
All the best,
Wendi
when we are raised to be a blessing to others then we do so. I have been around people who care only of themselves therefore only think about and act to benefit self.... I raise my kids to understand how to help because not everything we to do help is helpful... like you needing everyone to back off and let you do what you had to do in order to help the horse (which I have seen in action... my father in law is a farrier and a horse whisperer,no joke)... anyway, those people truly wanted to help but dont get that their help was not helpful at that moment. when we are raised to be helpful but not always sure what that actually means.... for example, (not that you need my story, but here it is) I was doing an art show, a fund raiser in which a portion was to go to a home that served as a rescue place for women and children in need of escaping violent situations... It was held at a beautiful winery. The whole thing was beautiful... anyway as we were packing everything up there was a few people who wanted to help. they dragged our perfect frames across the ground and ruined them, stacked the paintings on top of one another in the car without our blankets further ruining the framing and worse, an employee was out watering when we were on our way by and she literally watered a painting and the person helping us carry out the paintings did not notice to move so the water completely drenched a watercolor (not good) and ruined it when the water seeped under the glass and destroyed the mat and artwork. my point is that, while you clearly knew what you were doing, others do not. so the heart to help was there but the understanding was far from them. I find it often times on WA that I would like to help and answer a question but have no clue the answer so I dont get involved... if I know the answer I find I am so excited that I actually know something - and that I really can help out so I want to - given the amount of help I get here I truly want to give back, my artist brain is great with the art/painting aspect, not so much the computer thing....
most of us are raised to be helpful to our peers and its a joy to do so..... having experienced both, I would rather be around someone who has a heart to help and just does not really get how but tries than to be around someone who just cares about self..... at least the ones who try are trying, right?
Oh that would have been devastating, yes I think people generally do want to be helpful (even if it is misplaced help).
Unfortunately the people I was dealing with couldn't just step back even when asked too! Not to worry, live and learn hey.
Than you for sharing your story, most appreciated.
Perhaps it is just the way we are. I like to be helpful when I can, but there are occasions when I have to say no. Usually, this is when I don't know enough about the subject under discussion. I suppose I could just barge in and confuse the issue, but that wouldn't be fair to anyone.
Derek
Unfortunately I feel I may have barged in and confused people early on in my enthusiasm to help, I try to take a step back now before I reply to questions.
I've seen plenty of your replies Derek, you are definitely one of the helpful ones :)
I think it's in our nature to be helpful, we are, from the old days, tribes. And here, we are a member of the WA tribe. And we do everything to keep the tribe healthy and happy.
I love the thought that we are all one tribe, it is certainly obvious that others feel the same with the sheer amount of help offered here at WA.
I am grateful every day I found WA and not one of the multitudes of scam sites.
Thanks for your comment Loes.
See more comments
Good headline, Heidi, brought me right over here! Congrats.
Analysis adds to it, as well
Tim
Thanks Tim, most appreciated.