Nobody likes negative feedback

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4.9K followers

Well, I certainly don't!!

When you put one of your posts or review before the great judging panel of the WA members through Site Feedback, it feels like going back in time to when we used to stretch out our arm to hand in our piece of work to Miss in primary school.

Yet, getting feedback is important, as we are all here to learn - and, I believe, we never stop learning. So, it is also vital that feedback be as truthful as possible.

But, nobody likes to be 'told off'. So, how to get around it without being patronising to others, or feeling patronised if we are on the receiving end?

There is a method - a pattern in delivering your feedback, if you will - which has been proved and tested by journalists and critics along the globe, and which appeals to the following natural instinct: we tend to like people who like us.

It's the simplest and oldest natural reaction in the world. Because, if people like us, we feel valued and we feel that those people get us, so to speak.

When leaving feedback, this translate in the following pattern:

  1. Tell the author what you truly like about their work
  2. Add that, if you were them, you would actually change this point or remove that comment or add that picture
  3. Reinforce that you believe they are on the right track and encourage to carry on for more and better.

I am not suggesting in the least that we should all be insincere with each other. I firmly believe that there is always a bit of good in all the content we read - in fact, most of of the time the content we read to give feedback to is actually great!

But if there are parts which we feel should be improved in our opinion, we should deliver our suggestion equally sincerely - just with tact. Because remember, none of us like to be 'told off'.


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Recent Comments

71

I have faced this, a few times, in a related way. I have gotten some very harsh feedback for my website here, but I write for others ( a LOT of others) and I get something that is absolutely NON responsive:

I would submit an article for approval, rejection or request for revision (mostly I get approva.ls)and in some revision request comments, I read: "it just doesn't seem right... "I needed you to go another way..." NOT helpful.

Yes, I can imagine, Mickey, how deflating it may be.

Hi Giulia,
I have put my site up for review a few times. The first time, I received positive feedback. Not to say it was all good, but they worded it in such a way that it was a positive.

The second time.. it was the complete opposite. Everything was negative.. they had NOTHING positive to say. Kinda hurt my feelings.

There is a way to word your feedback, even if it is negative, in a positive way.
Just my take,
Kathi

Many on this thread seem to have mistaken positive feedback with untruthful, hence pointless. Like you, Kathi, I believe we are all here to learn and want nothing but the truth by the ones who kindly want to give us feedback. Yet, if that truth only says we are good for nothing and we should just pack it in and go home, why is that going to encourage us? An honest and constructive feedback in my opinion, should be one that tells me where I went wrong and where I went right, so as to give me an incentive to move forward :)

That is so true.

Giulia,
Often times, there will be quite few negative people out there...wouldn't it be nice if the society is full of positive?

But I personally think the world would be more rounded when things are "constructive feedbacks" approach instead of being positive for the sake of positive (ornegative).

And, a best thing one can do is click on the "delete" button. LOL


Success to you,
Pamela

That's right, constructive is very good, disruptive is ... well, rubbish.

Well, maybe I am just different, but if somebody doesn't like something about my website I would like him to tell me that as bluntly as possible! No pretty words or anything. Tell me what's wrong and what do you think I should do.
I respect everyone's opinion but that doesn't mean I have to accept it. I can accept his opinion and confirm it myself and try to fix whatever he thought isn't right, or I can decide that what he said is only half true and that I will keep it the way it is.
Remember, all feedback is good feedback, as long as it is honest.

I definitely agree with you when it's the case of honest feedback. And I can quite safely say that all the feedback I've received here at WA has all been honest. But sometimes it has also been contradicting. And that's where your saying that we don't need to follow the advice comes in the game. I have had some telling me to remove a picture, and others telling me how much they loved the same picture. At that point, I guess, the ball is entirely in my court - just to stick with Wimbledon season :)

My take is this. We need to know how our website is viewed by potential customers, and if they view it as a "garbage site" then we will never get a sale.

So if we can't get a comment from people here who are supposed to be "helping us" by giving us honest feedback, where do we go to get this feedback.

Everyone loves to know the positives, so do I.

BUT, we all need to know the harsh reality - if our website sucks, then we need to know.

They may not like it, but at least they will have a clear picture and not have to guess what is the problem.

Good point too.

so if there is nothing you like on the post - you don't comment?
i will tend to put my thoughts down a i see them rather than read through the whole and then review.
different people work in different ways, thanks for presenting the way you work giulia
phil

Hold on Phil. First of all, you say comment, I say feedback. Then you may not like a post in its entirety - personally I have never been in such a position of disliking a whole thing, but maybe that's because I'm easily pleasing. But surely, even then, you could help people's morale by saying you like their website because of this and that reason, but you think that post should be improved because... it's not difficult if you try it :)

my apologies guilia i meant feedback
i would try to give constructive feedback, and yes i have found a few i would not give feedback for due to very bad review or post.
not so easily pleased.
i would expect it in return!

I love negative feedbacks. Feedbacks are to make us aware of what real impressions our sites make and not just of what good. We need to know, what's "scratching" our visitor's eyes there is more than what attracts it. Don't afraid to make me sad- put it right betwine my eyes- this is the way to help me!

Thank you ever so much, I shall try to remember if I come across one of your posts for feedback :)

I will appreciate it :).

Wow I have lost this post three times while talking into this phone. Several times over the last three years I have seen people make posts like this. I am a hardcore business person. I am trained To-Face the harshness the evilness the stress of the business world. This is almost the opposite of the wealthy affiliate environment. In fact I embrace the harshness and anything else I consider to be disingenuous. Most times I feel like a barracuda swimming among minnows. Initially I was unaware of this. However now I am very much aware of the nature of this environment and I try to temper myself to this level of people.

Another thing that makes me sad is seeing someone struggling with such a minuscule payment. One of the things about being a hardcore business person is that you have the skills to earn money. Having to constantly learn new things to compete is the norm for us. And again I feel sad when I see people struggling with simple things like building a website.

Another disturbing thing is to see so many people who actually don't embrace the training and expect to have any type of success.

All my life I have helped people financially. Initially I did it here however now I leave that to the owners and the ambassadors. My role in my business has grown to the point that I have almost no hands on. I am pretty much a Visionary and executive. But I am trying to be an executive. I do make mistakes . frequently. But my primary concern is no longer myself but for my employees and Affiliates. I have to keep them eating.

Wealthy affiliate is in the business of selling training. I am in the business of Consulting. However as a real business we have products and services. To avoid a conflict of interest we do not sell to nor do we hire members of wealthy affiliate. Although I am about to hire a member of a program very similar to wealthy affiliate who has passed our affiliate exam.

After my upcoming operation I am guessing it will take 90 days of rehab for me to learn to walk again. I think I will let my administrator run this account while I am incapacitated.

You are right. With the right attitude and a pair of broad shoulders, combined with less chip on the same very broad shoulders, anyone can learn from others whilst (and this is my favourite one) building bridges and getting over them.

Good luck with your op :)

What you've described is known as the 'Feedback Sandwich' technique.

From wikihow:

"Giving critical feedback to someone in order to change behavior is a delicate process. It is very important to assure that you approach the task with sensitivity to the person's feelings to avoid the common problem of a very defensive reaction."

Example:
"You really did an excellent job with that 'Treating People Fairly' essay - everybody has been very impressed! In the future, it would be better to avoid naming people that haven't accepted all the methods you outline. It's great that you put so much thought into this and a lot of people are going to benefit from it!"

Source (with more detail): http://www.wikihow.com/Give-a-Feedback-Sandwich

Me like sandwiches :)

Agreed. Speaking for myself, I try to give, and hopefully get CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. That is, tell me what you like and what you don't like, or think can be improved.

But don't just say "this sucks" or "that sucks", or "I think this can be improved"... Offer concrete suggestions and advice. Tell me what you envision in its place or suggest things I might try instead of what I've done.

Anyone can tear things down. Not everyone can replace what's missing with something better.

That's exactly the word I kept missing throught: CONSTRUCTIVE. Golden word!

Most definitely agree Hal!

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