Business Mindset Matters - 2 Taming the Fear Monster

byGail-UK

3.8K followers

2 months ago

Hello, lovely WA peeps

Firstly, apologies for being slightly late with this post - I have a few technical issues to overcome. But I'm here.

I didn't fail; I just found out that everything takes longer than you think!

Welcome back to Week 2 of our Business Mindset Matters series.

Last week, we explored Dream Big, Start Small. How did you get on? Did you research someone to follow or find out about successful people in your niche? Have you considered what you want your future to look like - can you see it? More importantly, can you close your eyes and FEEL it?

If you did even one small thing from last week, then congratulations! And if you didn't find the time to do them, that's OK. You can start again today.

If you missed that post, you can find it here: https://my.wealthyaffiliate.com/gail-uk/blog/business-mindset-matters-1-dream-big-start-small

Week 2 - Scary things!

This week, we’re going to face something every entrepreneur encounters often: FEAR.

Whether it’s the fear of failing, succeeding, or simply being seen, the Fear Monster shows up for all of us when we step outside our comfort zone at some time or another.

Sometimes fear is justified - the fear of putting your hand in a fire, for example, keeps you safe. But most of the fears we are going to talk about are stopping us from developing into the people we want to become. They negatively affect how we think about ourselves and what we do, and we need to overcome them.

Most Fears Are Learned

Babies only have two innate fears when they are born

1. The fear of loud noises
2. The fear of falling

All other fears are learned from our experiences, parents, society, teachers, friends, etc.

If someone is mean to us on the bus, we might develop a fear of travelling on buses, or if we experience our parents screaming when they see a small spider, we may learn that this is the way to behave around these tiny creatures. And interestingly, most of our fears are not really accurately labelled - for example, if someone says they have a 'fear of flying', it's not really the 'flying' that is the problem. Flying would be good. But their real fear is that the plane will stop flying and plunge to the ground!

Let's look at the fears that affect us most in online business.

The Four Fear Monsters in Online Business

Below are four of the most common fears that creep into our creative and entrepreneurial lives. They are:

1. Fear of failure
2. Fear of success
3. Fear of visibility
4. Fear of judgement

Now I'm sure there are many more, but in the interests of time management, these are the ones I'll be discussing today. These fears are effectively holding many people back from achieving their dreams.

But we don't have to continue to let them. We... YOU... can overcome them, and below are several ways that you can start to do this.

1. Fear of Failure

Core Belief: “If I fail, I’ll lose credibility, time, or my self-worth.”

This fear stops us from starting in the first place, so we fail before we even try anything. Most successful people fail much more than unsuccessful people because they try more. But what they don't do is give up as soon as something goes wrong. They treat it as feedback, not failure, and keep trying something else until they achieve the results they want.

Try this:

• Reframe failure as feedback: Treat every perceived failure as data, not defeat. Ask, “What is this teaching me?” and "What can I learn from this?"
• Break big goals down into smaller ones: Breaking your big dreams into small, doable actions will help you see that you can do each one. It helps you build your confidence when you achieve them, and each success rewires your brain to help you learn that you can succeed.
• Celebrate your effort, not always your outcome: Honour the fact that you are showing up. Trying is already progress because it's a start. Celebrate your small wins, and they'll soon add up to bigger ones.

2. Fear of Success

Core Belief: “If I succeed, I’ll be overwhelmed, exposed, or disconnected.”

This fear hides behind phrases like “I’m not ready yet” or “It's not the right time. Maybe next year.” It’s the part of you that worries about changing, losing who you are, instead of celebrating who you will become.

Try this:

• Define success on your terms: Make it soulful, sustainable, and aligned with your own values. Really think about what success means to YOU - not your parents, your children, or what your teachers or society deem success - listen to your inner voice here to define what YOU want to achieve
• Build support systems: Use your friends, colleagues here at WA and beyond to help you celebrate your successes in small steps. Don't listen to the naysayers; focus on the things and people that help you, not hinder you
• Practise receiving: Let yourself accept praise, compliments, income, and opportunities even if they feel uncomfortable at first. Many of us are not good at receiving things because we don't believe we are worthy enough, so stop that now and start practising receiving lots of lovely things that you are being given
• Have patience: See your road to success as a garden. It takes time to develop and thrives when tended gently, but it does have seasons of rest, which are part of the process. Start small and celebrate wins; eventually, you'll be standing in your own paradise

3. Fear of Visibility

Core Belief: “If I’m seen, I’ll be judged, misunderstood, or unsafe.”

This is huge for creators, especially if you are sensitive and want to be appreciated. Those 'likes' matter... or do they?!

This is the one that I needed to work on most. To be able to say, "Well, this is me, warts and all. Take me or leave me", and to feel confident in doing so.

No one can please all the people all the time, and I would say that no one can please all the people any of the time. This is because we are all different, have different values and perspectives, and that's what makes life interesting and worth living. Imagine if everyone liked the same things - what a boring existence that would be.

Let go of trying to please everyone and set about serving your audience, whoever they may be. YOU have a message that other people need to hear. Let me say that again:

YOU have a message that will help other people, so stop hiding and come and do what you have set out to do.

Try this:

• Start with safe audiences: Share things within trusted groups (like WA) before posting to wider platforms, and gain your confidence
• You don't need to create personal videos: There are many ways to get your message out that don't include being on camera - you can use text, voice-overs, avatars, and social media. You can even write under a pen name if you want to (if George Elliott can do it, so can you!)
• Anchor into your purpose: Focus on the people you’re helping rather than how they will perceive you. I guarantee that if you are helping people, they won't care what you look or sound like - they will feel empowered and grateful
• Start small: As with all these techniques, start small. If you want to help people personally, organise a local group first before you book the O2 Arena!

4. Fear of Judgement

Core Belief: “Others will think I’m foolish, wrong, or unworthy.”

We all have this fear at some point or another, and it is related to the fear of visibility in number three above. It manifests in an online business when you post something you've been working on, and receive a less-than-positive comment, and so you delete the whole thing. Or you over-edit because you're hiding behind trying to be “perfect”.

But this is just your own inner critic talking, and these thoughts are usually negative and come from overthinking based on what you have been told by others. They usually come from our past experiences, things our parents, friends, and teachers said that we have chosen to repeat to ourselves. And they're usually not the positive, empowering things that we have been told. We often delete those in favour of the negative, disempowering things that people say.

But once you start to stand back from these thoughts, become aware of them and question where they come from, then you can start to turn things around. You can begin to disagree, bat them away or ignore them completely.

Try this:

• Name your inner critic: Give it a character like “Boring Boris” or “Doubting Debbie”, to make it less intimidating and try to make it comic if you can
• Practise self-compassion: Use gentle affirmations or journaling to remind yourself you are worthy of being seen, because you are
• Teach what you fear: Write openly about the very thing that scares you. It can help you transform your fear into a connection and service to others

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway - by Susan Jeffers

This is a great book to help you start getting over your fear. Fears don't need to be shied away from - they need to be brought out into the open and faced. Then they start to shrink under the light of scrutiny, and you can put yourself back in charge of yourself, your thoughts and your future.

Remember, courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s moving forward despite it.

When you walk through a shadow with a light, the shadow disappears.

This Week’s Reflection

Here are a few tasks for you to consider this week:

1. Which of the four fears shows up most for me?
2. What story is that fear protecting me from?
3. What small, courageous action can I take this week to stretch beyond it?
4. How will I celebrate that act of courage, no matter the outcome?

That's it for this week. I hope you have enjoyed this episode.

Remember, we all have fears, but we don't need to let them control us.

This week, let your fear walk in front of you - don't run from it like the animation in the video. Confront it, tame it, and remind yourself that in doing so, you’re getting stronger.

When you feel the wobble (and you will), come back to the community here. Post in WA, share your story, and cheer for all the others doing the same. Because the Fear Monster only grows in silence, and we are not going to stay silent anymore.

Next week: We’ll explore Your Why Is Your Superpower.

Looking forward to seeing you then. Have a wonderful and productive week.

Gail

PS.

If you'd like to know how I made this video, I did it on an Android phone (Google Pixel 7) with the help of a few boxes, a ream of paper and some books for balance! I created the graphics, music, and video in Canva.

UPDATE - See the next episode here:

https://my.wealthyaffiliate.com/gail-uk/blog/business-mindset-matters-3-your-why-is-your-superpower