Bury The Damn Boots !
Bury The Damn Boots.
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about Hanging Up the boots. "When to Hang Up The Boots"
Today I want to go a little further and suggest we bury the damn boots. Its TIME
Why do I feel this way? Read on and I will tell you.
This past week I have not been able to spend much time on Wealthy Affiliate because my 74 year old husband decided to have his third heart attack and I have had to spend time at a Big Melbourne Hospital in the Coronary Care Unit. He came inside an hour earlier than usual, there was still some light in the sky, he was grey and cold, yet clammy, having trouble breathing and feeling like there was an elephant on his chest. The ambulance arrived within 30 minutes and took him 200 kms to the Coronary Care in a Melbourne Hospital.
The cardiologist informed me that one of his previous by passes had collapsed and another artery was clogged for most of its length. This meant it was unsuited for a stent and they were reluctant to do open heart surgery for just one artery. They have sent him home with some new whizz Bang medication which we are told will clean out the affected arteries In the kitchen we would call it Draino.
We arrived home last night and within just a couple of hours he was out working on the farm again. Would you believe that?. Today is our second day home and he has been out working all day feeding cattle and getting all the lambs in to be weighed (tomorrow mornings job)
I was threatening to leave him at the hospital if he refused to sign the paperwork to sell one of the farms. Obviously I did not have the heart to carry out my threat but I still think its time to bury the boots before I have to bury him. What do you think WA friends?
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Bury the boots of course, before you have to bury the boots with him still in them. That's easy for me to say ... or any rational person reading your post above.
Are you kidding me. He's 74 years old, has already had several by pass surgeries, and is still working the same physical schedule for more than 49 years?
But I understand it's not that simple. Born on a farm, raised on a farm, working the farm every day since then. You might be able to take the man away from the farm, but what if you are unable to take the farm out of the man. That's a conundrum.
He starts at 6 am and will not knock off while there is still light in the sky. He runs everything mostly on his own, hiring contractors for harvesting and shearing and some mechanical work. But he's a happy man, living and working the farm. He's never had a boss. It's who he is.
You have a conundrum. Is there a way he could learn to be the 'manager' of the farm and not the doer? Hire a Farm Foreman to take over the physical part of his day. You could help him in this transition with your digital skills. Maybe even build a website for the farm to simplify farm product sales and distribution.
That would be very hard for someone just to give up their farm to someone else to run it when they are used to doing everything themselves.
Like you said you can take the man out of the farm but you can not take the farm out of the man.
He is used to doing everything himself. It won't be easy for him to sit back and watch foremen do the work that is has done for 49+ years.
It would be very hard for him to do that and you also have to think this way as well he may just give up altogether and then what will happen then.
I hope this helps you out
I get what you are saying but perhaps he wants to just do what he loves even if it is not a good idea. My mom who died many years ago always pushed herself beyond what she should have. We used to laugh and say well if she dies scrubbing the floor then so be it. She was always a clean addict and there was no changing her.
Thanks Dashnow for your response. I guess I just have to back off and watch him kill himself then try to pick up the pieces after. Its not what I want but you are right it is what makes him happy.
Thanks again
It is a very hard decision, I would say to my mom well you know what you are risking, so make your choice based on that and she did I guess. And who knows if they did not do what they like maybe they would die even sooner.
I hope it works out continuously. Better to leave the farm and put on the boot camp boots in WA
Thanks Mike. Are all men this pig headed and stubborn.?
He is such a lovable old fellow and I would love for him to just have 1 farm and more time to do other things but it has been pointed out that if it is what makes him happy I have to let him be.
Farming is a 24/7x365 day job. This is the serious sign that you both need for him to slow down. He and we can’t go on forever so if it’s possible to sell up, do so. Keep an acre or so for him to maintain, this can be his small part time hobby.
It sounds like you will need to stand your ground and be more pig-headed than him!
Good luck with that one!
Best wishes
Heyday
Thank you for your comment Heyday. You obviously have an understanding of what being a farmer is about.
I know I could never expect him to give up farming altogether but I am only wanting him to downsize to one farm instead of two. He could easily manage that on his own and should continue to enjoy the lifestyle till the door closes. He would never be happy living in a town or even on just one acre.
I guess this is a problem many older folks have to face.
Yes it is a dilemma for you Freisia
At least the option is there, you need to package the deal, present it to hubby and convince him that this is the best way forward
Best wishes
Heyday
Freisia, I'd be inclined to agree with you. As I started to get sick I pushed and said maybe it will all be okay. It turns out that all I did was cause more damage to my system.
Your husband sounds like me. I'm what some would call pigheaded. If I get something in my skull I just have to push until I find out that I just can't go anymore. Now, I'm learning to relax. I like the world better on the green side of the grass!
Thank you for your comment Bryan. He is pig headed and you are right its a much better view on the green side of the grass. Did you have a pushy wife wanting you to retire or at least wind back a little.?
I had people pushing me, but it was my realizing that I was closer to death than to life is what finally made me stop and think. Financially it's been a disaster, but life wise, I am still among the living.
Sorry to read this. 74? Is that a good time for retirement? I truly hope I can stop sooner (working on that right now)
Loes he is a farmer and I think they are all like that. They become so passionate about what they do that they cannot imagine doing anything else and find it hard to let go. I hope you do get to retire at your chosen time.
Thanks Susan, Or is it that they just don't want to face reality?
Do you know someone like him?
I think its both they cant slow down because then they have to admit that they are getting older. I also think it has to do with his generation and being taught his type of responsibility.
Yes I have a friend that is like this, she has a fear of not being useful and put out to pasture.
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To write a response with such understanding of farming you must have some experience of the situation. He returned from hospital and started on the tractor the same day.
Yesterday he wanted to cut a pile of wood for an ill neighbour using not a mechanical wood splitter but one you have to swing and cut. I said no and this time he actually listened. That is progress. He is crazy but still lovable.
Thank you for your well thought out comments.