What The Families Go Through With A Mentally Ill Patients

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Hi WAers family

This is my story of being Bipolar Disorder

The story of the first husband

This my story, I was diagnose at the age of 23 years of age with manic depression. (Then the APA changed the name to Bipolar Disorder). Anyway my first husband couldn't handle because he couldn't admit that I was having a melt down constantly in the beginning. That is when I decided to learn about this illness. I read so much as getting educated and there was new information every few years.

I wasn't getting a break and my doctor told him that I needed a break to get out of the house. He didn't think that I needed that break. So what I did he come home, I dinner waiting for him we would eat and then I would go out. I when to a nearby pond and just sat there watching the ducks. It was relaxing for me and I had time to clear my head.

As long as I could get out of the house I was fine. I told my parents and they said that wasn't true and that I was fine. They couldn't even face facts that I was in need of help. My parents also said that there was nothing wrong with me. Once again that was picking up the rug and sweeping it under it and then dropping the rug down.

They had a hard time admitting that I was sick or I was even clinically depressed. That was even when they seen all the pills that I was taking. They still couldn't admit it. I tried talking with them about it, and they just didn't want to hear about it at all. They shut me down so I couldn't talk about it. I faced the abused, losing my grandmother, then 7 years then losting my mother later my mother died. Then 5 years later I lost my father died.

The story of the second husband

Then I had divorced my first husband because he just literally ignored my cries of help. I left and filed for divorce, my home town was no longer home to me. Where I was living at was more of home for me. I had to go to work and I got a job at a fast food restaurant. My mental illness was under control for the most part. After the bout with medication. I went off of it because I didn't have health insurance so I couldn't go to the doctor or get my medication.

I was off of meds for about 5 years during that time it was touch and go because I was able to tell when I would be cycling so I just stayed to myself. That is where I met my second husband. He left the fast food industry and became a truck driver. He had medical so I was able to go back to the doctor and get back on meds. It was hard and this is where I started to have faster drug changers and faster transitions.

Again many people didn't understand what I was going through and things were harder and harder. I ended up divorcing my second husband and I had to go and find a better job. Which I got so I had my own medical and I had to find a better doctor and stronger medication. Which I did find but once again more changers and more transitions. Some of the meds didn't work and the ones that did work didn't last long enough to control my symptoms.

This was the starting point when I couldn't tell when I was going through cycling. What I mean cycling is when I go through the emotion roller coaster where I would be mad, next crying, sad, happy, laughing, and being back to my old self. This is cycling through your emotions. It was few and far between when I was first diagnose and now as I get older it is less and less time and I don't know when it is going to happen. It just happens.

The story of the third husband

Then I met my third husband in EMT school. I told him about my illness but it wasn't right away. And I gave him an out meaning that if he wanted to leave he could. But he didn't. We have been together for 22 years and going on 17 years of marriage as of December. It wasn't too bad it was still under control for the most part which was a good thing. As time when on it just got worse and worse and now I just don't even know what mood I am in. And having PTSD didn't help that is when it started to escalate. Things were on the fast track emotional roller coaster.

I have been more angry than anything else. Right now anything basically triggers me. My husband has been so good to me even though I am going through so much. And he loves me more and more each day. Even though I am angry , yelling and as he puts it I am mean and nasty. It has been hard on him and I have been putting him through a lot. He understands what is happening and he doesn't blame me

This is the first where a spouse or partner doesn't blame the mentally ill patient. He has been working so hard to take care of me. He makes sure that I take my meds and he is always asking how I am doing. To be honest it bothers me when I am told to calm down all the time. He has been a trooper, he is so loving and caring, I have not been very nice to him.

This is what happens to the family support system in the beginning

Having mental illness in the family not only affects the person themselves, it also affects the family as a unit. If it is a child, it affects the parents and the siblings and it affects the children and the spouse or partner. This is hard on everybody but it is hard on the patient because they are the ones who go through the changes, and transitions from one drug to the next. And a reminder this not only affects their psyche it always affects their bodies as well.

This behavior is hard on the family as a whole. When parents don't come work together as a family unit, there is a tear down as family, As it is already hard on the family, it is twice as hard on the patient. Because they can't get out of their heads because we in live in our heads. Then it is hard on the families because they take the brunt of the behavior, and they feel helpless because there is nothing they can do for their love one.

At this point I am going to tell you what happens to the family and the family unit. this is important because if you are going through anything like this is something similar I hope this helps you out.

This describes in details what does and could happen to the family

I want to give you a better idea what could happen and what does happen. I have talked about many things that the mentally ill patient goes through. But I didn't talk about what the families go through. The families are the support system. That is if they didn't given up on the mentally ill patient. When there is a mentally ill person in the family it is hard at first for the family to accept. They go through the 5 stages of grief before they realize their love one has a real problem.

The family will take their love one to get help. Most of the time they will have to taI have talked about many things that the mentally ill patient goes through. The families are the support system. That is if they didn't given up on the mentally ill patient. When there is a mentally ill person in the family it is hard at first for the family to accept.

They go through the 5 stages of grief before they realize their love one has a real problem. ke medication and go through therapy. After going through many changes and transitions the doctor's will find the right combination that will work for the person. The doctor doesn't just consider the illness they also take in consideration of the person themselves. This is what I am talking about, is having that hard conversation with your children. You need to tell your children about there family's medical history.

Being mentally ill is not easy on anyone. Sometimes the family will break up and marriages fall apart. Then the blame game starts the family will blame themselves or they will also blame each other. One parent will take care of the mentally illness patient and that parent will be the caregiver who doesn't get a break, then if their are any other siblings in the family the will not get as much attention because the parent (mother) is always taking care of the mentally ill patient.

The patient feel's the guilty and shame because they blame themselves because of what is or already has happen to the family. Then instead of staying on their medication they go off of it because they feel that would be less of burden but in reality it is not a burden.

There is many families who have kicked the mentally patient on the streets. Because in some case it has caused a strain on the rest of the family. Or the family doesn't know how to help the mentally ill patient. The mentally ill patient don't have access, or means to continue to get medical treatment. That just can't afford it because the city or state has done nothing to help them. So when they can't afford to get treatment or get their medications they just merely exist at this point because no one will help them.

I forgot the name of the mental institution but there was one that had closed down. What the staff did was the last thing you would think would have happened. But it did happen they left them to their devices and they were literally put on to the streets. The families were not notify of this and when the families did find out about it, it was already too late because they couldn't find their ones. This is reality for a mental ill patient who can't afford doctor's care of their medications.

What society has done to the mentally ill

Here is the problem when a patient has a job and place to live they are in good shape but when it happens they goes off their medication for one reason or another, they lose their jobs and their housing and then they are on the streets and when that happens no one will help them to become functioning person in society. When someone does take interest in them they wondering what they want.

Mentally ill patients are the most vulnerable people in this world. Because of what society has done to us. Society has done us injustice because they have put a label on us. That label is we are a menace to society, or that mentally ill is contagious, or that we can't function in society in the right manner. Society can't handle what they don't understand, because they refuse to get educated on the subject.

In the present day more and more people are talking about mental health. Especially celebrities are talking more about mental health issues. Society has taken some notice but we still have a lot more to learn each and everyday because the American Psychological Association has more and more information and we all need to learn and educate ourselves.

Please help by getting the education, and don't be ashamed or feel guilty the patient or family. Support your love one and don't give up on them. They can function as long as they get the help that they need and the medication they need.

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Recent Comments

53

It's good that you found a husband that understands and doesn't leave the first time there's a problem or issue because of the dosage is off or whatever. You have been very lucky.

Can't say that I have a lot of patience for that mental institution that just kicked the inmates out on the street without notifying the family. That's probably more the rule than the exception. Not sure what the staff expects to happen for the families looking for their loved ones. I think it's because they want the least complications to their life, short-term, but this seems pretty cold-hearted to me.

Thanks so much for explaining what exactly happens to someone who is mentally ill. It sure isn't a picnic for the families. It hasn't been the easiest, and I know I'm not the easiest person to live with, myself. I'm just starting to get a handle on my symptoms, but with my impulsive spending, made my marriage suffer. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't seem to stop myself, and I had no idea hwo bad it really was. But it helps that I started looking at ADHD, and the possibility that I have it. I plan to ask for an assessment in a couple of weeks now. Really nervous, but I'm sure it will be fine.

I also have a problem with anger. I mostly internalize it, and it's mostly self-directed, but it wasn't until I found self-development that my anger that I had from my teens scared the heck out of me. I decided I didn't want my anger to consume my life, to make my decisions for me. I wanted a better life, a life of victory, and I couldn't have that if I gave in to my anger, but always repressed it. So, I feel your pain, at least part of it.

I knew a woman who was bipolar. She was my ride to a Bible Singles group, but I couldn't always depend on her when she was at her lows. What you describe as cycling, was probably what she was doing. She'd be home, but wouldn't answer the door. She probably wasn't able to, mentally. It's hard. I had no idea how hard it was for her. What you wrote, explains so much. Thanks a million. :)

Maghdalene, I would get an assement also for bipolar disorder as well just to see if you possibly have that. ADHD is something different that is not a mental illness. It is more for the attention span.

For the anger that can mean many things but anger is the big part of being bipolar. As I said in my blog I have the combination of bipolar disorder 1 and 2.

Because this subject has been taboo for so long and no one really ready to talk about it. I have to bring it out so that society understand that being mentally ill that you can't be progressive functions human being.

People seen movies about mental illness and think that what happens Hollywood happens in real like. I am going to explain something. Now this is not being hypocritical.

The majority of the time Hollywood will exaggerate the manner. Hollywood will always do that. When they are doing true story not all of it has been exaggerated. They stretch the truth but the majority of is true.

Being a mentally ill patient has seen many different things. Being bully pick on pick at blame for the way you are always made to be ashamed of who you are and being made also to feel guilt.

First you this NOT your fault. You didn't ask to have these problems at all. And work on feeling less guilt or ashamed of yourselves.

The people around you should be made to guilt ashamed. This exactly what I am talking about. People see us one way and that is it. They just don't know what it is like. They will say take it easy, or I understand what you are going through. But they don't know because they never took the time to be educated on this subject.

People are always worried and concern what others think on them. It doesn't manner because you are strong-willed, you don't mind taking care of anything that is dangerous.

We have nothing to lose because we have nothing to lose. We take chances we think outside the box. We do things that others won't do. I can't explain that but it does happen quite frequential.

I felt if I could help someone else and trying to get them back into life and want to live to regain the power that once. because that is the only thing that will save yourselves.

Mary,
I talked to my doctor, and did a self-assessment test online (not at the same time, lol), but forgot asking for a referral for bipolar. However, according to the results, I don't seem to show as much a risk for that, but I'll keep it in mind. She *did* ask if I was suicidal, or had thoughts of suicide, and I don't really, just low-grade depression, which ends in a day or two, but I can't think of a case where I cycle through emotions all that much. I do feel anger, but mostly when I'm interupted during "hyperfocus", but I tend to repress it a lot. Yeah, I know, not exactly healthy. She wanted me to do some blood tests, which are done and over with as of yesterday, and a sleep study, whatever that is, and I'm still waiting on them to get to me, as well as a colonoscopy, and I'm on a waiting list to get to the assessement for ADHD. It won't happen till next year, maybe the same for the sleep study, so it might take a while. Sigh. I wish it was over with.

Actually, ADHD isn't that clear cut, yes it involves attention span, but each within the ADHD spectrum has a different attention span and shows/presents different symptoms. I tend to forget what I said and lose track of what I want to say really fast, but I can remember to pay bills, for example. I fidget a lot, with pencils, pens, rubber bands, rocks, ribbons, I'll absolutely destroy business cards simply by fidgeting with them, the same for ribbons.

There tends to be emotional problems, and the biggest problem women have is that they get misdiagnosed, and untreated ADHD tends to result in anger, but more often depression, stress, and a lot of shame and blaming ourselves. Women with ADHD tend to internalize everything, . So, that's a real problem. But I'm at least starting to confront what my triggers are as far as anger. Now if I could just get my first post done. I get so distracted, so haven't been as involved in the WA community, since I want to get that done, and I have a second post started, but it's getting there. I was putting two posts together, wandering from the point, which is what adult ADHD looks like in women. kk

I was bullied a lot through high school til my last year, and then it started tapering off. By both guys and gals.

Thanks for your support, though. It does help. :)

Hi Maghdalena, Hey no worries about anything because it is going to come out fine. A sleep study is when you either do it in the hospital or they will show you how to do it with a monitor at home all it does is monitor you sleep during the night and it keeps track of your breathing. That is all it does.

This is what I am saying about educating yourself. Do a lot of reading about ADHD. My son has it ADHD and yet he was a handful when he was younger but I was told you can outgrow it as well. If he did I don't know but don't worry okay just keep on reading about it okay.

And when you see the doctor again ask about being tested for bipolar disorder just to be on the safe side. And I am always here whenever you need help. Hey I can remember things but I also forget things especially in mid sentence and it happens when I am in a middle of conversations so no worries. I have Traumatic Brain Injury from having too many concussions over the years.

Keep me inform because I am concern about you and don't stress yourself out okay. Keep busy by writing your blogs and content for your website. That is the best therapy okay.

Mary

Thanks, Mary. I'm doing just that. A lot of reading about ADHD. At least in my case, but I've heard that in 50-60% of the cases, people who have it don't "outgrow it", but the symtoms do settle down a bit and/or change. They're more muted, but they're still there. It's just not at the level as when your a kid. Like my sister said I used to fidget with my fingers a lot, and kick my feet. Well, I don't kick my feet as much, but sometimes I just need to walk around or pace the house, like a lion, but I still fidget, that never really went away, and I still have trouble organizing anything. I can do it, but I have to work twice as hard at it. I get so tired at the end of the day, but just can't slow down.

Thanks for the tips about the sleep study. It makes me feel better, anyway. Still waiting to hear, but as I said, I'm doing a lot of readiing about Adult ADHD in Women books on my Kindle. I keep flipping from one book to another, Darn Executive Functions! Most of the time I'm OK with caffeine(it slows me down, but there are days when I really miss Ritalin! Like a lot! But I also know that *some* outgrow it. The Executive Functions is as mature as it's going to get around 30, but it's not perfect. but there are workarounds. I'm starting to get interested in wellness for this, not just self-development. I'm striving for what I call The Victory Lifestyle, which is a way of thinking, and victory in one area after another. Because we have to work so very hard at things, getting organized, managing time, at all, etc, is not just success, but victory over all those areas where we sabotage our future, our life, and our health, inner and outer, that is wellness. I only get depressed a little, then I recover, so it's pretty low-grade, anxiety the same, and only when it involves my husband.

He treats me well, but I'm always worried that I'm letting him down. He says I'm not, but then sometimes he says I am, depending on his mood. He might be a little ADHD himself, but I rarely have anxiety about other things that don't involve my husband other than writing good posts. I tend to overthink my posts a lot, for my site at least. I always worry that I wander from the point too much. Argh!

Hi Maghdalena, You have to be able to do what you do best. We all have good days and bad days. Now I am going to say something and that is since my accident I can't remember many things where my husband has to fill in the blanks. And since my accident I found out that I have Traumatic Brain Injury which has I have burst of anger for no apparent reason.

Not only do I have to deal with my mood swings which right now is uncontrollable and dealing with the Traumatic Brain Injury and not to mention on top of everything else I have to deal with the PTSD .

I am proud of you doing as much reading as possible on ADHD. As far as out growing it, it only happens with kids up to a certain age but right now I am not sure of what that age is. But you may come across it in your reading. No worries no matter what illness you have I have learned one thing everyone with get on your nerve at some point.

And just for your knowledge I would try to get your husband tested only if he is willing to go to get it done. That way you know what you are up against then.

You are doing fine and with your post keep it up. It will help with your concentration and your focus. Trust me since I have come back to WA and started writing again I have been more focus a little everyday.

Mary

Mary,

Well, the people that are saying that you don't really grow out of it, are experts and psychologists and psychiatrists that have worked with it for 20-25 years. One is Dr. Russell Barkley who says the following (and he mentions 50-86 percent):

"“But as the science of ADHD exploded in frequency over the next few decades, all this dogma was being overturned,” explains researcher Russell A. Barkley, PhD. “Children diagnosed with ADHD are not likely to grow out of it. And while some children may recover fully from their disorder by age 21 or 27, the full disorder or at least significant symptoms and impairment persist in 50-86 percent of cases diagnosed in childhood. Hence it is a myth to assert that all children having ADHD will grow out of it.”

It may be that the people you come up against *have* grown out of it, or were told they grew out of it, but they may or may not, but the symptoms won't be as obvious, and when you're tested as an adult, the symptoms will be more muted or come out different ways. And a lot of times their kids have it as there is a genetic trait for ADHD, and when they get tested or re-tested, they still have it. Having it in childhood *does give the psychologist/psychiatrist a baseline to work from, though, there may be additional tests like neurological MRIs, so I work from Dr. Barkley's and Dr. Hallowell's who is a psychiatrist who also has ADHD(as an adult, and was tested when he was an adult)

I got the quote from CHADD's website. CHADD stands for Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder, of which I am a member. Here's the URL, in case you want to take a look at it:
https://chadd.org/adhd-weekly/grow-out-of-adhd-not-likely/#:~:text=And while some children may,will grow out of it.”

I only know from my experience, that caffeine calms me down, so I'm assuming that Ritalin, if I was taking it would still work to calm me down and deliver the neurotransmitter, Dopamine. I'm not taking it now, so I think my dopamine level is not as high as it's supposed to be, but I still fight for my blog entry. It helps if I do a little bit every other day, take a break, then come back to it fresh after a day's break. That's just me. ;)

I'm sorry to hear you're having difficulties. A traumatic brain injury? Really. Sometimes that can cause difficulties with the executive functions, which control emotional regulation. Sometimes it does cause ADHD, but that's rare, mostly it shows up in kids, at least according to the DSM V, though in the next version, it will probably address adult ADHD, at least that's what I'm hearing there.

But getting back to what I was saying the outbursts along with the violent mood swings, sure makes it tough, and it's always an uphill struggle. I don't know what to say other than take it a day at a time, or an hour at a time, if a day is too much, but work on not stressing yourself out, which will probably make the emotions stronger.

Hold on there, Mary, and have a good weekend.

Hi Maghdalena, I want to thank you for your input. But with TBI the expert have studies that early signs of dementia can develop. But I am taking it one day at time. That is all I can do and I was formally discharged from the injury care doctor and he told me back in August that there is nothing more then can do for me.

I was already expecting that because with TBI is can't be reverse because of all the concussions that I had over the years and each one gets worse then the last one. There is no cure and no one medication that can solve this problem. So now I just have to accept what the doctor says and just move forward from this point on.

I still an appointment with the neurologist about the pinch nerve and that in itself is more or less going to be control with medication just what I need more meds to deal with. I am up to at least 15 different meds a day that I take more then once a day.

This is what the rest of my life is going to be like living on meds. I don't know about this for you I can only tell you from my experience and that is the meds that I suppose to helping me is killing me and my body is taking the brunt of it. Yes it is hard and yes I still have good days, bad days , and worse days. I it is getting to the point I am having a hard time telling one from the other.

But one day at a time it all I can do. But writing helps keeps my mind from running so much. That is my outlet is my writing.

Mary

I'm happy that you finally found the love and support from your third husband. I appreciate you sharing the information about mental illness and what it takes to help them out in some way.

I wish you continued healing and support. ♥️

Myra

Thank you Myra for the kind words I appreciate that very much.

Mary

You're very welcome, Mary. It was my pleasure. :)

Myra

It is a great thing that you finally have the love and support from your third husband, Mary!

Thanks for all of the information concerning mental illness. It is very helpful to get the word out!

God Bless you!

Jeff🙏

Thank you Jeff for you kind words I appreciate that very much.

Mary

You're very welcome, Mary! Keep trusting in God and movig forward! He can heal you from all of this, my friend, but you are doing His work, in making everyone else aware of this!

Jeff🙏

Jeff I have asked God to heal me. And he hasn't there is a reason for it. I am to help others to understand what mental illness is all about. How important mental health is.

Yes I have gone through a lot but I would go through it all over again because if I can help one person then I have done my job.

Mary

You have, indeed, Mary! Well done! God has BIG plans for you!

Jeff

Yes it seems he does have big plans I just wish i knew what they were. Thank you for your kind words.

Mary

I'm sure that He will make them known to you, Mary! We all want to know what God plans for us, but sometimes we just have to wait and see!

Jeff

You are absolutely right so in the meantime I will just continue to use my gift of writing and testify as to what God has done for me.

Yes you are right we do all want to know God's plan for us. I guess if we knew his plans for us we would not use our freedom of choice.

God has blessed us with our free will even though we may make the wrong choices at times, he still loves us and he still forgives us for the sins we have committed.

Thank you Jeff for your wisdom and your thoughts.

Mary

You do make a compelling argument for that, Mary! I don't believe that God wants robots either!

Jeff

No Jeff, God doesn't want us to be robots by any means. He created us to have feelings, emotions, that is why he gave us free will to make decisions on our own.

I just believe that God allows us to be put to the test and then he allows us to experience different things so we can help others.

Like I said before if we don't walk in someone else's shoes how can we help others if we don't experience what they experience or something similar.

No matter what we experience that others experience it may not be the same but we all end up at the same place.

Read Job, or Joseph, Paul, many others in the Bible. What about Miriam, Moses sister she became a leper and then Jesus healed her and when he did she was cleaned.

No matter what we do when we ask for forgiveness we are healed by his stripes and bruises. We all become one in Christ. As it is said we are different parts of one body that work together as one.

I hope this makes sense to you.

Mary

Amen, Mary! 🙏 Job is one of my favorite books of the Bible!

Jeff

I thought that would help you out. Job, Psalm, Proverbs, Revelation is my favorite books

I had read John first and then I read Job next when I first became saved.

Mary

It will, indeed, Mary! Thak you very much, my friend!

Jeff🙏

You are so very welcome my friend it is my pleasure.

Mary

Always appreciated, Mary! I hope you had an excellent day!

Jeff

I spent the day at the hospital but other then that I am doing okay.

I'm sorry to hear that, Mary! I'm glad you're okay now!

Jeff🙏

We both are doing okay. It was my husband who was at the ER because he has Cellulitis, he is on meditation to clear it up and he sees his doctor next week for a follow up.

Mary

Oh okay! Well prayers for continued relief then, my friend!

Jeff🙏

Thank you Jeff for the prayers they are greatly appreciated my friend.

Mary

You're very welcome, Mary! As you well know, prayers are powerful!

Jeff🙏

Hi Jeff yes prayers are very powerful. But I haven't really prayed like I should have been doing.

Mary

I know what you mean, Mary! Many times we all have that problem, but at least we keep trying and that is what is most important!

Jeff

I am so touched by your article. I understand how tough it is especially for the mentally ill patients. And you are right in saying that the society needs to be educated, and society has done so much injustice to mentally ill patients.
I don’t know from what state you are, but just so you know that you can apply for Medicaid.
Medicaid is the largest payer of metal health services in the USA, contributing more than any other private or public source o funding.

I am from Pennsylvania and under our laws I can't apply for disability because my husband has disability. He get money for me because I am his dependent.

And the only way that I can get disability is if I divorce my husband and then they would still take it from him anyway,.

It is not fair but that is how the law is written. And I heard that from an employee they told me that in confidence and I did research on that and it is true.

The laws need to be changed but that is not going to happen because there is so much more involved. But that is for another story.

Mary

I am sorry, I walk away and my incomplete note got posted.

If you don’t have Medicaid, please apply for one.

For further information on the services you can avail from after applying for Medicaid, please visit www.nhpf.org

I did try already but our laws here in Pennsylvania are strict.

A husband and wife can not collect disability because I am under my husband as a dependent and he already gets money for me.

And that is when the employee told me that.

Mary

Hello Mary!
Please check on https://www.Medicaid.gov , they have behavioral health services

I have already tried the answer is NO my husband gets the money the Pennsylvania.

Mary

The Medicaid program though is individualized.
It is separate from disability. They come from different funding.
Log in to Medicaid and find out

I will try it.

Mary

Good Mary
Keep me an update!

As soon as I find out something I will let you know.

Looking forward to it!
Take care Mary!
Text me if you encounter issues of concern! And hopefully we can get enlightenment!
Have a pleasant evening!

I will take care, I am going put all my energy into helping others the best I can and I am going to do it by my writing. That will get the word out fast and maybe educate people on many things if they want to and willing to learn.

Because we never stop learning. We do it each and everyday of our lives. Like I said before if I can help or even to save a life by my writing then I have done my job. I have done God's work in what he has intended for me to do.

Best wished on your journey on your endeavors much success in your business.

Mary

My reading of your life convinces me more that shelter should be a requirement for every human being ..
No one should live o the street, and for those who cannot follow rules because of whatever , should be taken and treated for a mental issues, for certain they have some degree of illness and should be treated with kindness and care,in a place of healing...more people should practice deep breathing and learn the vibrations of the universe that will help the mind.
We must start with our children, My prayer and love vibrations to you is that you have done a brave thing in writing this and that is where I am coming from,
I want to be a philanthropist to help people through natural methods and science of the mind ...Compassion, and doing unto others as we would want to be done to us...Your husband deserves a medal and you are blessed to have him.

I have to agree with you on that. In fact the other day I told him he deserves a medal but he does love me so much. And I love him too. Yes I am truly bless to have him in my life.

In all seriousness many people with mental illness don't have the support system because many families don't want anything to do with that family member.

They are still thinking they belong in the hospital because they don't think they can function. But they can function with the right med combination and the right doctor to help them.

Mary

Akua, I am sorry I just seen your response. I do apologize for not responding sooner. I am happy to hear about your brother that is awesome for him.

But for mental ill patients they need meds to function. I have done extensive research on this. Many family members don't want their love one on meds but for them to function as normally as possible for us to be.

I understand that a lot of people don't want to take meds but I had found out the hard way. My doctor in the beginning gave me too much medication and I had overdose through no fault of my own. He didn't take proper precautions.

After that incident I vowed I would not take anymore meds of any kind. Then one day I had a melt down and it wasn't good, the doctor at the time put me back on meds and I was back to my old self but on a proper dosage.

From that point on I did research on the subject and come to find out mentally ill patients needs to be on medications. Many have tried the herbs and everything natural but none of it work. And the majority of these patients committed suicide because they was hearing voice and having hallucinations.

Medications are not bad it is the way they are prescribed and the dosage that are given. Dosages are based on height and weight of the patient. Yes we have to deal with side effects that is what I mean meds changes and med transitions. Yes it is hard not only on the psyche but also on the body.

With bipolar disorder we have racing thoughts. And that is very bad because we can't focus, contrate on anything such as tv or reading a book. Our anxiety get pushed to the limits and sometimes pass those limits.

This is something that can't be put into jeopardy. Because the health of the patient is what is important. Again it is a blessing that your brother doesn't have to be on any medication.

But I know that I can't be without my meds at all. Yes there are days that I don't want to take my meds but I have to or I can't function without them. It is a catch 22 with all mentally ill patient. I am talking from experience because there was a time that I was off my meds and it did more harm to me then good.

I hope that this helps you out. Again your brother is genuinely blessed not to be on any kinds of meds at all. I wished I didn't have to be on meds but I have to or I will be in the hospital.

Yes this is hard to talk about but everyone needs to educated and this is the only way I know how to do this. Yes I have prayed and prayed that God would take this away from me but unlike Jesus this is my cross to bear because I can't help anyone until I walked in there shoes.

Mary

Akua, I appreciate what you have said and I can say that your prayers were answered. You brother is blessed as well.

But I don't want to burst your bubble in any way. But last year a man who was bipolar was killed by our local police.

The were called several times to the residences because this man was having a typical melt down. He went off of his meds and just lost it.

He mother and his wife tried their hardest to talk him down while the police was on scene, but to no avail the man had a knife and he was lunging at the police with the knife.

His wife went back in the house and his mother kept on talking with him, but he went between two parked cars and was lunging at the police with the knife in hand and the police had no training in talking a mental patient down to bring them back to the present time.

Because they felt they were in a threating situation both of the police officers shot him and he died at the scene in front of his mother. This happen 6 blocks away from my house.

The family did not place any blame on the police. They knew they did what they could but because the police are not trained in mental behavior issues they didn't know how to gain control of the situation.

It was all because he went off his meds that he needed to function. When he was on his meds he was fine and functioning member of society.

This is what happens with mentally ill patients many of them die because no one hears their cries for help because the pain they are in. And it is not physical pain it is psychological pain. We just want that pain to stop and he can't and won't stop unless we have medication to quieted or silence it.

So I hope that you can understand how important this is. Many people don't want to take medication but for us it is necessary for us to function as law abiding citizens, that can pay bills and hold a job down.

Mary

You are so very welcome and thank you for the kind words I appreciate that so very much.

Mary

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