Going for your goals

byfaneufft

258 followers

Updated 9 years ago

This was a blog I made a few months back which I re-read today in light of joining WA. In particular, when I am feeling that I need to be further ahead than I am in life, I read this and think of how far I have come and what I must do to keep moving forward. This blog is not about affiliate marketing per se, but it is about determination and going after your goals which I feel to be very relevant here. Let me know what you think :)

How many times over the course of your life have you been told that you are not good enough? Perhaps you did not hear those exact words. Maybe what you heard was “Buddy, maybe you should think about doing something different,” or “Sweetie, at least you tried,” or even “That was a great effort, but….” When children are crushed at a game loss, or they miss a line in the play or musical, we think that we are building their self-esteem by presenting these statements as hopes that our years of ageless wisdom will somehow help develop resiliency amidst personal failure. However, that is often not the case. My point in saying this is that even harmless attempts at building strength and character in children can often translate into the same phrase “You aren’t good enough.”

Perhaps what you heard was more blatant than that. Personally, I remember a high school guidance counselor who told me that it would be best if I picked up a trade because I wasn’t college material. He also depleted my confidence when, after I was actually accepted to a college, he said that the entrance requirement was simply to breathe. Talk about taking the wind out of my sail…For years, I struggled with my own self depreciating language that developed from a lifetime of hearing things that ultimately translated into that simple phrase. Even today, as I look at my career and educational progression against SOME of my peers, I wonder at times if I haven’t come far enough. You see this thinking that we are less than what we are that develops in childhood rarely ends there; we just find better ways of hiding it under masks.

Ultimately over time, a bright and shining light that kids and young adults have seems to dim to a mere bulb. What was once a fervent and unquenchable desire to reach for the stars becomes, “I will settle for as high as this ladder will take me”. I recently read an article by Ty Bennett on http://www.Tybennett.com that spoke to this topic of children having big dreams. It made me wonder where the dreams go, where the bright light dims. It evoked questions within me that made me think about what initially “dimmed my bright light.” You see, I also had dreams, just like you probably did or still do. However, we are so good at producing this dialogue within ourselves that creates this protective bubble that wards off any pursuit of those dreams due to the threat of perceived failure. So we don’t try. We sit. Just like a light stops shining when the power is cut; so too do our dreams suffer without the childlike impulse to try without fear of failure.

So what do we do if we are in that moment? How, as adults and in our careers, do we bring the light back? We need to alter our environment to produce the victory for ourselves. This means that we have to actually get up again and start moving towards something as opposed to sitting in the dark waiting for the victory to come to us. We have to get out and introduce ourselves to people and gain insight from them and learn new techniques. Keep in mind that victories don’t come overnight; there is a road to travel. Each stop on the way of your journey, remember to reward yourself for the small victories, otherwise the long road becomes just that. And we all know long roads are just not fun to travel without stopping for an iced latte every now and then. Just as important as altering our environment for change is changing the way we think or altering our thoughts. The behavioral health field would talk about this process as reframing wherein we learn to identify those thoughts that keep us from moving forward and replace them with a more positive perspective. Find an anchor and stick to it. After all, a journey is only a journey with the hope of a destination.

Remember what it was like to be a child and to run and jump without fear of falling? How much better would we in our current roles and as leaders if we bring this light back. This light brings out the courage to try and the knowledge that if we fail, we are learning which in turn produces wisdom and the value of wisdom is immeasurable. I will leave you with a small success story you may not know. Milton Hershey, the famous chocolate magnate, failed countless times in his pursuits. Fear of failure did not stop him. Because of his continued drive, the Hershey Legacy has produced one of the most recognizable brands in history, a thriving town, and a boarding school that helps children from disadvantaged backgrounds get an education. Had Milton Hershey given up and allowed his light to stay dim, none of this would have been possible. So what is your anchor going to be? What is going to propel you to greatness? Don’t let the continued thought of not being good enough keep you dim. Burn bright and blaze a trail for others to follow.