It's a bird, it's a plane, it's INSOMNIA MAN!

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Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.”

After reading Uncle Meanie's blog about his bout with insomnia the other day/night, I came to a conclusion. Uncle Meanie is obviously an amateur when it comes to insomnia. I am a professional insomniac!

I am INSOMNIA MAN!

For those who missed Uncle Meanie's hilarious blog the other day. Here it is.

https://my.wealthyaffiliate.com/ehr/blog/insomnia-its-not-ju...

We all have a Super Power inside of us. Every single one of us. I am an functioning insomniac. That is my SuperPower and it has zero effect on my health as I am as healthy as a horse. I have been to sleep clinics and sleep trials and I literally freak the doctors out. They say my "brain waves" peg the measuring devices out when I close my eyes and TRY to go to sleep.

Toss, turn, toss turn, rinse, repeat.

The above joke was by a famous insomniac named Groucho Marx, the comic actor. His sleeping problems were triggered by the 1929 stock market crash, in which he lost a small fortune. To avoid wee-hours boredom, he would reportedly call strangers on the phone and insult them — as well as pen such classic jokes as the one above.

Chronic sleep disorders affects 40 million people in America alone. And another 20 million deal with occasional sleep problems.

I just roll with it. What better "disorder" to have being an affiliate marketer. Right?

Am? Pm? What the hell is the difference. They gym is almost empty at 2 am. and Cheyenne the Wonder Dog loves her midnight runs. There are a whole lot of God's critters that run amok in the neighborhood in the wee hours. Foxes, skunks, raccoons, possums, cats, etc. I think we have seen everything but a bear.

And she likes flaunting the no-lease law. Always pushing back against authority and conformity just like her Daddy.

Other famous insomniacs were:

Judy Garland, actress
Garland developed insomnia as a teenager after studio pressure to stay thin left her addicted to amphetamines. While overly pepped on pills, she would sometimes stay up for three or four days at a time.

Marilyn Monroe, actress
Monroe's insomnia, which she treated with sleeping pills, was reportedly tied to turbulent emotional spells. The day before she overdosed, she became enraged on hearing that a friend had nabbed 15 hours of sleep.

Abraham Lincoln, president
Lincoln, a long-suffering insomniac, became known for taking long walks at midnight.

Madonna, singer
Madonna's brother, Christopher Ciccone, says his sister treats her insomnia with medication, and blames her sleeping problems on her "unbridled desire for fame and fortune." Madonna doesn't exactly disagree: "I'm anal retentive. I'm a workaholic. I have insomnia. And I'm a control freak. That's why I'm not married. Who could stand me?

Arianna Huffington, blogger and commentator
The Huffington Post founder has earned fame as both a workaholic and an insomniac, but ever since she "passed out from exhaustion, broke my cheekbone, and got five stitches over my eye," she has become a fervent anti-insomnia crusader. This year she's declared lack of sleep a "feminist issue", and is encouraging women get at least seven hours of shut eye each night.

Vincent Van Gogh, painter
Van Gogh treated his insomnia by dousing his mattress and pillow with camphor, a relative of turpentine. Scholars believe the camphor slowly poisoned him and was one of the factors that pushed him to suicide.

Others include Margaret Thatcher, George Clooney, Sandra Bullock, Ben Franklin, Cary Grant, Michael Jackson, Napoleon, and Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton? I think that one was self-induced.

I am taking a nap on Bill.

Nite, nite all.

Mark

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Recent Comments

34

Thank you for fun post. Can definately relate to the subject matter. Have to say that you do have a flair in writing. Keep it coming.
Zia

I am Ambien Woman. SO, you know what that means.

Hahahahahaha.

I will give you the best sleep of your life. :))

Nurse by default,
Maxine

Fun post. I've had some nights when I don't sleep at all and feel fine but it could be annoying in a relationship to have insomnia.

Wine? Maybe more wine? 🤣

Lily 😊

Great post! :-D

Thanks for the laugh. I treat my insomnia by drinking more coffee, it always sends me to a wonderful sleep at 5:30!

.... now that's funniee-ee-e! .... lol ... :)

I love this!

I have finally recovered from my insomnia and pleased to say I am now medication free. But it was hard graft. I had to work hard to re-train my mind set and let go of past hurt.

This has given me inspiration to write my own post about this on my parenting blog.

Thank you
Lisa

I myself I'm having trouble now with insomnia. I can sleep for about 4 hours and then I wake up and I can't go back to sleep for at least 2 more hours. It makes for a really long night and if I get 8 hours of sleep I have less than 8 Hours of the day left.

It seems wrong to take pleasure in someone else's insomnia, but this was the most fun I've had all day! Thanks.

It's funny how insomnia takes hold. It used to be I'd fall asleep within 5 minutes of my head hitting the pillow. Nowadays I toss and turn for hours it seems, even taking some sleep aids doesn't really help. On the upside, it's quiet at night and I can get a lot of writing done. :)

Michael

Whew Mark...I'm breathless just reading this! I thought I suffered from insomnia until I read your blog!
Wow, hope you can get some sleep tonight!
Joe

.... it's all ok Joe -- he's still alive and you, too! ... :) ...

Whew!
Joe

... 😊 ... !

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