Disease to please
My friends, this desire to be liked runs mighty deep, however, if you ever find yourself always subjugating your own needs, for fear of losing the approval of a friend or your colleagues. Then my friends the chances are yours is coming at to high a price. You just may have the disease to please.
Many individuals worry about what everyone think of them and fear disappointment, disapproval, or the judgment hall. It's like their own values, opinions, experiences and knowledge are less important than gaining other people's approval. When this craving of the need to be like becomes too great, when the disease to please takes over, they will tailor their lives, and themselves to fit others, expectations. (screw that)
The disease to please can also result in so many beautiful people remaining in unhealthy relationships, being treated like an un care for dog, because they continually focus on the need to ensure a partner's happiness, also to gain their approval even when it may be the cost of personal development and goals. OK, healthy compromise is one thing, but sacrificing what really matters to you is quite another.
When you seek appreciation from others, a partner, your boss, family member, or a complete stranger on the street, you are looking for a fix of approval to feel good about yourself. However, this is the deal, no amount of appreciation from others is ever going to be enough to make you truly happy. We all have to remember, nobody has exactly the same beliefs, goals, or desires.
So by expecting others to understand you in the very same way that you do, really is a thankless task. It is high time, to approve of YOURSELF, you deserve to live your life ( that is what I said), you deserve to live your life. Based on your very own personal preferences, caring about your needs. Please understand thinking of others is one thing, however, pleasing others is NOT the same as helping others.
LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF, IT CAN BE THE CURE, FOR THE DISEASE TO PLEASE
Recent Comments
21
Very timely post in this day! Too many do not value themselves at all, and this is sad. The educational system, the media, and even our so-called friends will hold us back if we do not love ourselves.
You are right it is very important to find ourself overall. then we can help others and realize what our strengths can really do.
thanks,
Bill
I couldn't have said it better bill, and you're correct it is sad. I have watch too many friends who are mostly female living in an abusive relationship as far as emotional inputs are concerned, and sometimes it just makes me angry however, I want to say something but I have learned in the past even when you're trying to help it whines up backfiring on you, may you have a blessed weekend my friend.
Thank you Derek, I'm sorry it took me so long to get back in touch with you, may you have a wonderful weekend.
I couldn't agree more there is so many people in unhealthy relationships because they have a kind heart and care about Humanity, and because of this they are emotionally abused. May you have a beautiful Sunday
Great reminder of how we can be influenced in negative ways. Better to be happy being ourselves.
You're so right my friend, I personally believe for anyone to be able to truly make someone else happy they must first be happy their selves, may you have a very enjoyable Sunday.
It is true that many people often tend to lose some of their personality to satisfy others and not to be judged. But I'm sure WA members are here because they've got rid of the fear of "what will you say". We are ready to exceed certain convenience to achieve our goals. I think we have to be willing to accept deserving to live our lives, as you say so well.
Have a nice day!
Ingrid
Good morning In g r i d, I agree, however I also believe that sometimes people are held back from doing the very best that they could do, because of a one-sided personal relationship with someone. We must be able to be happy before we can truly bring joy to someone else's life. Unfortunately I see these terrible unbalanced relationships that the female is the victim, may you have a blessed Sunday my friend.
Happens too often nowadays with the rise of narcissists. It is very important to like who you are and learn to love and value yourself and your own needs.
Good post.
Good morning Linda, you just hit it the nail on the head, unfortunately there are so many unbalanced relationships within our society and because of it a lot of people's potential is being crippled. May you have a very beautiful Sunday.
Yes, it can be a disease. One needs to know when to say no. You don't always have to be a crowd pleaser.
Beautiful morning to you Mike, I couldn't have said it better, my God I wish people would understand what you have just said, be blessed my friend..
Thank you Mike, the reason why I wrote this today a very close friend who is a female is in one of those very unhealthy relationships. I have watched this dear friend of mine's give up her career and all the things that really makes her happy, that makes her her. For this person that does not appreciate her or what she is doing, it brings tears to my very Spirit. Mike have a beautiful night.
Thank you, I hope that your friend sees the light. We had an evening a week ago with a couple who we know. The man is a great solid steady guy, he likes the simple life and is an ok person. His wife takes every chance to make him feel small and useless. Last week I snapped and told her what a controlling freak she is.
The guy actually thanked me for pointing things out to him and for standing up for him, sadly I don't think it will change his acceptance of her nastiness.
She is a classic Narcissist.
Regards
Mike
Good morning Mike, you have just described my friend's husband he's a complete control freak and it just blows my mind that she puts up with it. She's so bloody well intelligent, she went to Harvard University. She is beautiful her body and mind, so she doesn't need to have this kind of unbalanced relationship at all, enjoy your Sunday Mike.
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Excellent post. I agree with your point entirely.
Brian
Good evening, it is such a shame to watch people who have this distorted disease, May you have a blessed night my friend.