Take Criticism with a Grain of Salt

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I must confess I need to work on my tolerance and acceptance towards feedback or better said, "constructive criticism".

I have improved over the years, but I still need to improve. It's not easy by any means, but it's totally worth it.

Nobody Likes to Be Told They're Wrong

Let's be honest. Who likes to hear they did this or that wrong? We know we're not perfect, but sometimes it's hard to accept the fact. Well, I can speak for myself.

This happened to me yesterday after requesting feedback on my latest post as one of the assignments for the lesson. Someone commented something that didn't make sense to me, but that person did not elaborate on the matter. Neither did I ask her to do so. But I've been thinking on that ever since.

Use What Can Be Used

I've always tried to be as objective as possible with myself. It's obvious we all think differently and others will see things we don't see or vice versa.

What I want to express is we have to be careful with whatever feedback we receive. Some feedback can be well-meant, but there may be a kind that isn't.

When someone gives you feedback, ask yourself, "Why is he/she telling me this? Will this help me grow? Is it relevant? Does it make any sense?"

We're not obligated to accept all the feedback we receive. Use what can be used and disregard the rest.

Always Try to Learn Something

From experience, I've learned to take feedback or constructive criticism with a grain of salt. It's not the first time it has happened to me nor will it be the last. I've seen it here on WA as I've seen it out there in the real world.

It's important not to take things personally (not easy), although it's easy to feel attacked at times. I'm pretty sure most fellow members in here mean well, but unfortunately it seems there are a few who don't -- at least unconsciously.

Whatever they tell you, try to learn something and use it for your own good. And if you're going to give feedback, think it out well before giving it. Will you be helping others? Is it something that will help them grow and build something? If not, it's better to keep our mouths shut.

Thanks for reading. What do you think?

Enrique

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Recent Comments

46

Feedback is important to me and I encourage it hoping to get some negative comments, hopefully constructive, as well as the platitudes about a great job with an article. Gotta take the good with the bad and I hope to improve and get new ideas from the criticism.

Keep on keepin on my friend.
Greg

Totally agree, Greg. Thanks for dropping by.

Reaction to feedback depends very much on how much you value the opinion of the person giving it.
If I received bad feedback from a person on WA that I don’t know then I wouldn’t particularly value it because I have no idea how valid their opinion Is or how much experience they have. Indeed giving feedback is encouraged very early on in members training.

If it was from someone I knew and valued then I would react completely differently and take action on their feedback knowing that it was good advice.

You made an interesting point, Dave. When we know someone, their feedback has a solid foundation, so to speak. I really appreciate feedback from several fellow members in here, but I must confess there are times when I read comments that are useless or seem rather ill-meant. Just my experience.

I have had similar experiences.
As your article title says - take it with a pinch of salt

I understand how you feel, Enrique, but I see it all somewhat differently. Prior to WA, and before retiring, I was active as a civil rights and criminal defense lawyer. Over the years I represented some very unpopular clients and issues. What I learned was that both approval and criticism went with what I chose to do. Both affected me like the proverbial water off a duck - meaning it was something experienced but not taken personally. The only personal aspect was what I chose to allow to affect me. I did not believe I was owed either the approval or the criticism. I was outside of both. It is the same here at WA. We take pride in what we do. In that way, we are like an artist working on a painting. When I request a comment or feedback, I prefer it to be as blindingly critical as possible. That is where I learn from. I don't judge it by how it makes me feel, but by how relevant I find it to be for my purpose in having requested it -- which is to see the correctable aspects of what I am doing in WA. We are constantly learning in this business, and criticism plays a large part in that process. I find that there is much truth in the reactions to my efforts, even when given by someone not as well-intentioned as some others. My lifetime experience has taught me that criticism is just a perception and that I am different than the perception. My advice, for what its worth, is to see the truth in what is said and ignore the rest.

I couldn't have said it better, Burton. Criticism is part of the journey and there will always be. We have to accept that fact. However, as human beings, it's hard sometimes to not take things personally. It is true we decide how something affects us at the end of the day, but it's also true not all comments/feedback are well-intentioned.

You mentioned relevance and I'd like to point something out in that respect. Many times I've received feedback when I didn't ask for it. Every now and then, when I ask for comments on a post, I receive feedback instead. This shows me people are not paying attention to what I'm asking. We need to listen to others.

It's also happened to me that feedback sometimes doesn't make any sense. I always try to place myself in others' shoes and see what they see or don't see. If it turns out to be relevant or helpful, I follow it. Otherwise, I dump it.

One of the problems is there a very thin line between constructive criticism and destructive criticism. It can be very subjective.

Thank you very much for your valuable comment. It's much appreciated.

This is a very powerful post. I really appreciate what you have written here. Use what you can and discard the rest. I have come a long way dealing with criticisms from others. I am more humble now. The change for me came about when I realized that I was allowing criticisms to consume me. Now I'm able to accept the good criticism and discard the rest. But I must be honest, this took some time. This is what I like about wealthy affiliates. This is people centered and the more we grow as individuals, the more we can help others. Thank you again for this post. I'm feeling really good after reading this.

Larry

Hi, Larry,

Thank you for your kind words.

Yes, it's not easy, but we have to learn how to deal with criticism. We have to distinguish constructive criticism from destructive criticism.

Whenever someone tells us something, we have to weigh it before accepting it. Does that comment have any foundation? Will it help me reach my goals? Why did he/she say that?

Let's work hard and continue learning. Thanks for dropping by.

This should be a safe place to learn and grow, and I would hope that people take the time to re read their comments before posting.

You are correct in considering where the person is coming from. Maybe, they were having a bad day and should have not left a comment.

Perspective.
Thanks for sharing

Lily 😊🎵

Hi, Lily,

There, you said it. Perspective plays a very important role. We have to decide what affects us and what not.

Personally, I always ponder what I'm going to say before writing anything. The power of words is immense. We can brighten someone's day or darken it as well.

Thanks for commenting. :)

You are most welcome.
We all need a nudge now and then, but not a boot.😁

Definitely.

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