How Struggles Make You Stronger

byegonsarv

4.1K followers

Updated 10 years ago

In the End of June I wrote my last blog post here. My family and I were packing to return to Indonesia. This time we planned to go father than before. The last 6 years in Indonesia we had lived in Jakarta and Bekasi, which is Greater Jakarta. This time we planned to move to Kendari, South-East Sulawesi.

How to Find My Rhythm and Be Consistent?

All the previous months I had worked hard to build up my website so I was not particularly happy to let in about one month long gap. At least this was what I expected from our transfer. For online success it is important to be consistent and I wanted to keep the gap as short as possible.

When I started my WA campaign I had to work hard to build up my rhythm in the first place. It was not that easy but I arranged and rearranged my life so that finally I found my daily routine.

As I am not a native English speaker, it was difficult for me to write in English. But finally I managed to write at least 2 blog posts each week.

Now after moving to the other side of the world, my previous rhythm and daily routine were gone. I had to start from scratch.

Wrong expectations

Yet I thought that it was not that difficult. Once we arrive to our destination,we find a place to live, set up the most important things and that was it. After that I would open my laptop and start writing again.

If it were that easy, I would be happy. But usually life is not that simple. It throws new and new problems to your path and it takes time to solve them.

As for Indonesia, we had never been in Sulawesi Island before. Our destination, SE-Sulawesi is probably the least developed province in Sulawesi island. This was the reason why we chose to come here.

From Jakarta, it is a far away and poorly developed province. I had no idea if I was able to get a good daily access to internet. Because good and fast internet is what I needed if I wanted to continue my online campaign.

In those past 6 years in Jakarta we had always used 3G network and it never satisfied us. Then how to expect a better internet in a far away province? I just hoped. Because I am believer of God, I just prayed and hoped that somehow He would provide.

After arrival we stayed 2 weeks in Jakarta where we prepared our stuff to be shipped to Sulawesi. I did not have neither time nor appropriate internet to continue with my campaign. Finally, in the middle of July we arrived to Kendari.

Problems, problems, problems...

It took us time to find a place to live. In Kendari there are problems with electricity, water and internet. Most houses don’t have access to daily tap water. 3G network is bad but luckily it’s possible to get a broadband. But only in certain places.

It took me time to solve all these issues but finally we had a home where we had daily tap water. Also, we got a broadband, which is almost as fast as I had 3G in Estonia but about 4 times more expensive. But at least we have it and I can start my online campaign again.

Are kids a problem?

But these were not the only issues I had to solve. We also have little kids. I have found that it’s way easier to travel, to work, etc. if you are alone... Or at least without little kids. Little kids slow you down considerably. This is why career focused people usually don’t want kids. Or if they want, then usually only one or two.

As for me, I am happy to have kids. They give us a lot of joy, even though they slow us down too.

Yet sometimes I envy those WA members who are still single. They can use all their time in a way that they want. I cannot and sometimes I feel that it’s not fair. You don’t feel particularly happy when others make progress faster than you. Or at least this is how I feel sometimes. But then... I understand that we don’t compete. Everyone builds up his own campaign. Everyone has his own goals where to reach. One longs for great financial success, the other to feed his family and more time with his kids.

In a new place our kids did not have friends. Our 2 smallest ones don’t know the local language either, which makes it harder for them to make friends here. To help them out, I installed swings and built my first sand box, just to give them some activities.

Yet I found that it was not enough. When I am at home they almost always want to play with me. It’s so frustrating when you want to concentrate to write blog posts or learn something and at the same time your kids are whining that you don’t play with them.

I am thankful, I cannot complain.

But this is life. I cannot complain. My kids are healthy. They have their home and food and clothes. They don’t have to live in a war zone like kids in Eastern Ukraine, Syria and other parts of the world. So we are lucky.

There are always problems in our lives. More money solves some of them but not all. Also, more money creates new problems. The same way, kids bring a lot of joy but they make you grey too.

Sometimes I think, I don’t have answers. I don’t know what to do. Life’s too hard. I can’t handle it. But then... What about those millions who are fleeing from wars? News say that about 1 million people have fled from the war in East-Ukraine alone. Just few months ago these people still had their homes, jobs, lives arranged... Not any more. Now they have to live in some overcrowded refugee camps with some family members, relatives, friends already killed...

And kids here in Kendari and other towns and villages in SE Sulawesi – Their stories and conditions often want to rip my heart apart. I consider myself lucky that I have an opportunity to help at least some of them. What can I do? Very little. But I hope that this little can make our planet a little better place to live.

Compared to some of the successful WA members here I feel I am in a way worse position. But when looking the bigger picture... Well, I am really lucky. I am in a very, very good position. My family is ok, I can work but also spend time with my kids. I have my struggles but these are not comparable to the struggels of millions of kids and families around the world.

What motivates me

Thinking of those who are suffering in war zones or from diseases gives me strengh to move forward thankfully, without complaining.

Steven Pressfield has said:

“The professional tackles the project that will make him stretch. He takes on the assignment that will bear him into uncharted waters, compel him to explore unconscious parts of himself. Is he scared? Hell, yes. He’s petrified.”

This has been pretty much my case too. I have been scared too. This life stretches me. My kids make me stretch. Trying to think and write in English make me stretch. Moving my family into uncharted Sulawesi waters makes me stretch. Building my online campaign makes me stretch. But I am thankful because these things can only make me stronger.

Richard M. Devos has said:

“If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying. “Here comes number seventy – one!”

I like it. Problems and obstacles are not able to crack you if you refuse to give up. Just yesterday I wrote a post to my website about what I had learned from those little creatures called ants. These last 2 months here in Kendari I have had continuous fights against their invasion. Yet in the process they have taught me a valuable lesson that I am sharing in my blog post here.