A Teachable Moment From My Last Post On Site Comments
My last blog was about Site Comments, link here. I received so many passionate comments that taught me something valuable I want to share immediately.
Misunderstanding Site Comments
When I first joined Wealthy Affiliate and started giving site comments I coudn't understand why I got so many disapproved comments.
I pointed out things like how well they had written the post, with suggestions on what they could do to get even better.
Then there were the posts that didn't make sense at all. Or had bad grammar and so many misspellings. I felt compelled to help them improve and gave a critique on how they could do that.
Very soon I was told in no uncertain terms that what I gave was not what they were looking for. I was advised to stick with giving comments on the topic and not on the style of how they wrote the article. When I re read the type of comments they requested I discovered that I didn't meet the criteria at all.
I must admit, I felt hurt. Rejection is never easy to take, even if it is well-founded.
I mistakenly thought that the main purpose of giving site comments was to help the member improve. That was incorrect. What I gave was Site Feedback instead.
Note:There is a section for asking and offering Site Feedback for the purpose of offering a critique of a website or post.
No Room For Being Rude Or Bullying
Does that justify being rude to the commenter? Certainly not. I was fortunate that those who responded to me were not rude. Just direct.
However, I learned that was not the case with other members. Some had responses that were not only rude but took the form of verbal bullying.
And that is the point of this post.
Take The High Road
We all make mistakes. This is a learning process. There is a civil way to respond when another member makes a genuine mistake. Rarely is that done deliberately to belittle the post author. But that is how the author sometimes takes it and responds rudely.
There is a solution to this situation that I want to share.
A Solution
When you receive site feedback instead of the site comments you requested, please do not take that as being attacked, and then respond in kind.
Assume that the commenter made a genuine mistake and respond with understanding and respect. Put yourselves in the other person's shoes. And try to explain clearly and briefly what you were looking for. This will help the member giving the comment improve. Never put the commenter down.
The Habbitual Bad Commenter
I get that increduous look when I receive comments from someone who is really bad at it.
There is another side of the coin though. Some commenters have no intention of providing well-thought-out comments. Instead, they want to game the system to quality for the cash credits. They often use similar phrases with all their comments and just vary a few words. Also, they copy and paste phrases from the post to beef up the length of the comment in order to qualify. I still receive comments like this.
It is these comments that should be disapproved "mercilessly" like VitaliyG stated in his excellent article on this subject. Anyone who intends to give Site Comment should read his blog posted below.
Learn From VitaliyG
By the way, it was Vitaliy who rejected my earlier comments and I was able to learn from him on how to improve.
Be Picky With Site Comments - You Deserve The Best.
Several members had bad experiences with Site Comments and decided this is not for them.
Giving Site Comments is not for everyone. And that is OK. This is just a tool to help members boost the value of their post by creating engagement with the author.
My message to anyone who has been bullied or hurt by having comments rejected harshly, I feel for you. There is no point in harboring a grudge. Just move on to bigger and better things.
I wish you all the best in your affiliate marketing journey.
Edwin
Recent Comments
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The difference between feedback and comments is easily confused. No matter WHAT the situation though, being rude is never ok!!!! Having said that, when you write a response, your TONE may not mean for it to be rude but because people can't hear your voice, it may be construed as harsh when that was not the intent at all. I've had that happen to me on both sides of the fence.
~Debbi
I know Debbi, right? Perhaps some training on this subject as part of the OEC and Bootcamp would help.
There are specific skills necessary on writing comments and giving feedback so that it comes across in a positive manner.
In Toastmasters we are taught how to give speech evaluations in a non threatening manner so that the speaker learns something and is eager to improve in their next speech. This would apply to SIte Feedback not not Site Comments. And therein lies the rub. As you stated, it is easy to get carried away when giving comments and continue to give feedback too.
Not to worry. This will all work out find in the grand scheme of things.
Cheers,
Edwin
Well said, Edwin. I do a lot of Site Comments. I get a kick out of reading all those blogs, and I find it helps me with ideas for my own. Of course, not the same ideas... I take into consideration the structure, the length depending on each subject which helps me decide on how to build my own blogs. When reading other blogs, it's easy to learn which words most capitave you, and what subject keeps you enthralled.
That's why I do it. And at the same time, this helps someone else's position. Win, win situation.
Thank you Edwin, because I had a couple of comments rejected and I thought to myself they were valid comments about the subject of the post. What really bothered me is that the member who asked for the comment never came back to me to tell me why it was rejected.
Hi Eugene,
When a member does not approve the comment, there is a mechanism for them to give their reason why right away. That is always a good practice as it helps the author to think why they felt that way as well as the commenter so that they can learn and make improvements.
Whenever my comments were not approved, there were usually three reasons.
1) I gave a critique. I don't do this any more.
2) I went off tangent and didn't discuss the topic at all.
3) My comments didn't match what the author had requested
You probably know that when we request comments we can choose up to four types of responses. Hence, it behooves us to read that before we write.
Not to worry. In the grand scheme of things everything works out well.
All the best to you.
Edwin
Hi Edwin,
Firstly, you tried something new, you were unaware at the time of any "wrong-doing" on your part (therefore felt hurt and rejected), you took on board the feedback you received, and you learned from this.
The circle of life that ALL successful people typically go through (think Edison and his many light-bulb attempts - I haven't failed etc. etc. etc.)
Edwin, you are our Edison, LOL.
I always like to provide comments as though I have found the website via a search engine/social media search (this is generally why I only ever comment on posts that have piqued my interest).
So, hopefully I come across like a genuine person who is actually interested in the article that I am reading
If I find anything untoward, with regards to spelling, grammar, etc. I send a courteous PM, and leave it at that.
I will say that for the vast majority of people here at WA there are many, many things that are a huge learning curve, but as long as you're continually learning, then you are moving in the right direction.
Thanks
Partha
See more comments
Nice post, Edwin. It is true that we should always take the high road when possible. Putting ourselves in others' shoes is the best way to try to appreciate what they were trying to say and or feeling at the time.
Still, site comments is important and it is good to learn to respond in the correct manner. People are asking for a comment, not a critique.
It is difficult to keep those two things separate - I know, because I have tried and failed to do it.
All the best.
Aelx
Well said Alex. Thanks for putting this into perspective. This is a learning process. Maybe there should be formal training in the OEC and Bootcanp to make this all clear.
All the best to you.
Edwin