How We Communicate

t

This is the definition for Transitional Analysis--a system of popular psychology based on the idea that one's behavior and social relationships reflect an interchange between parental (critical and nurturing), adult (rational), and childlike (intuitive and dependent) aspects of personality established early in life. These are all parts of our behavior and how we interact with each other on a daily basis.

Here is how Eric Berne described the Games People Play-

Berne defined games as:

“A game is an ongoing series of complementary ulterior transactions progressing to a well-defined, predictable outcome. Descriptively, it is a recurring set of transactions… with a concealed motivation… or gimmick.”

“If It Weren’t For Him.”---this is how this game is played

You have a fear of storms and you don't want to face you fear---fears can be real from a past experience or they can be unfounded fears based on someone's fear that has transferred to you.. Your husband forbids you from going out in the storm. Now you blame him for not allowing you to go out in the storm instead of facing your own fear.

This is another way we interact with each other:

Look at these 4 quadrants and think of the way you speak to someone. How do you expect them to react to you. Do they respond in the way you expect or not. When you look at these quadrants think about how you feel about yourself, then how you feel when you look at your partner. Think of the conversation you have with them----how would the conversation go?

The way someone talks to you or the way you talk to them falls under this diagram

We don't always realize what we're doing. It's an innate behavior formed early on through the relationships we have as children with our parents and how we interact with the people around us when we go out into the world.