Deal with a fear of failure!

byDiana-DB

4.2K followers

4 years ago

Throughout our lives, we all want to do important things to impact ourselves and the rest of the world, things that we are passionate about or dream about for a long time, but for which we do not have the courage, time or we need to deal with the fear of failure.

What If?....

Most of us live with the question "What If?", but we prefer to leave it in the motion stage, without taking proper action.

When the question become more and more persistent in our mind, and we begin to take a minimum of action, most often the fear of failure comes suggested by excuses:

" I Do not have time to deal with it!"

" I will do it later."

" I do not know how to get started."

" What if I do not succeed?"

" What the others will say?"

In most cases, not the failure itself, but the fear of failure leads to elimination of ideas and opportunity from the beginning. This is the main cause of failure in life, derived from the fear of rejection, criticism and shame, which leads to the refusal to make decisions, to take responsibility, to delay the fulfillment of tasks, to subconsciously sabotage the opportunities and to refuse to try new things.

That is why it causes feelings of sadness, regret, frustration, disappointment, which influence our identity and force us to engage in a continuous struggle on mental level.

Psychological causes

• excessive dose of perfectionism -perfectionists cannot accept the failure and see it as difficult experience to accept
• continuous exposure to criticism - that can be dated from both childhood and adult life ( demanding parents, an authoritative teacher, friends or colleagues)
• the inferiority complex - when we underestimate ourselves and we do not trust în our potential
• toxic environment - our emotional state, most often, depends on environment in which we live. We can ask about each person close to us " He/She has a positive or negative influence on us? " We must give up the negative people and surround ourselves with more optimistic people willing to help and support us

• the trauma of a failure -that led to a dramatic psychological impact over a period

• defining our own failure, to find optimal solution to work with ourselves and to progress beyond the limitations. Each person perceive failure in different aspects. For some, the lack of money, a relationship or marriage with problems can be a failure, for others giving up a diet program, a new business or loosing a job. The best thing for us is to make a list of our failures, to determine their cause and a list of our goals, marking next to each objective, what is our personal fear that prevent us from achieving them.

"Why we considered it a failure?"

"What things we did wrong?"

"Why we failed?"

"What we can change in the future?"

With these answers we will become more aware of our actions, we will identify the issues that need to be improved and will help us determine what does not let us move forward.

• Knowing our own identity, personal potential but also our weaknesses
• accepting ourselves as we are, with abilities and flaws, with success and failures, with talents and shortcomings. We can make a list of our achievements, in which to determine for each one, the action taken, so it will help us to discover the strategy and the decisions taken that have determined the success
• setting short-terms goals, that will be a strong motivation and much easier to achieve
• doing what we do with pleasure and not because we have to
• evaluating failures from a positive perspective, as opportunities for learning, development and not evidence of incapacity. Successful people always see failures as bad results with the possibility of self-improvement
• not considering failure as something personal. It is only the result of a circumstance and is not for makes us incapable
• applying the power of example from people who have succeeded and who will strengthen our personal confidence
• being reasonable without exaggerating success
• exposing the feeling of fear, talking about it with a confident person, it will decrease in intensity
• analyzing all the possibilities, including even failure and making backup strategies
• acting and persevering, planning a strategy, implementing it, without giving up at the crossroads
• calling imaginary help ( can be a teacher who supported us în high school, someone loved who is no longer with us, but has always led us to make the right decisions). This exercise can boost our confidence in our own strengths

Failure is not a sudden occurrence but a multitude of decisions, which in time, create an inevitable result, affecting our ego.

That is why, in order to face the fear of failure, we must build a very solid foundation of our own, in which we know, very well, both the potential and the weaknesses. To be reasonable without exaggerating the success, doing everything out of passion, considering failure as a benefit to us. We need to talk about our fears with people who have been in the same situation and succeeded, to take actions, establish new strategies and persevere.

We must not forget that we always have a choice: we can choose to be afraid or to overcome fear.

" Fear has two meanings: Forget Everything and Run

Or

Face Everything and Rise"

Zig Ziglar

Wishing you Love and Confidence,

Diana