The Blame Game

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This is a gentle rebuke for all who would complain about something they don't like here at Wealthy Affiliate.

Many years ago on Long Lake, Park Rapids, Minnesota I watched a very frustrated, angry young man repeatedly beating the outboard motor on his boat with a boat paddle. He was very upset because the motor refused to start. He was also shouting some very unkind words to the poor, little, defenseless motor. I was too far away to understand what he was saying as he continued his explosive rage.

Obviously there was something wrong with the motor and the young man was beating it for its stubborn refusal to start. I felt very sorry for the poor, little motor that was now going to have a lot more repair work because of the terrible beating it was suffering.

We all have been angry at times. Perhaps we have been very frustrated because what we were trying to do or write wasn't happening to our satisfaction.

The harder we work on a post, the worse is our frustration when we must stop, because of something gone wrong. It is very natural then to blame someone or something for the cause of our discomfort.

We never think that we might be the cause of our misery. We almost immediately jump to the conclusion that someone or something else is to blame. We may think that Guttenberg stinks or that Site Content is terrible or even that Wealthy Affiliate is a big scam.

We need to realize that affiliate marketing is a steep learning curve. We are bound to make many mistakes on our way to our desired success. It is a big mistake to blame a program, an individual, or a technology we think is the cause of our trouble.

Is it ever right to be angry? The answer is yes, we should be angry about::

1. Child abusers, rapists and murderers.
2. Drunk drivers that kill and maim others.
3. Government officials who steal and waste taxpayers' money to benefit themselves.
4. Corrupt judges who let criminals go free
5. Thieves and scammers who steal our possessions and our money.
6. A spouse who cheats, spouse beaters and abusers,and drug pushers The list could go on and on.

But we should not become angry with someone or something when the fault is usually of our own making.

I like what the cartoon character Pogo Possum said many years ago, "We have met the enemy and it is us."

If we want to see our worst enemy and the cause of our many frustrations, all we have to do is look in the mirror and stop blaming someone or something else for our own mistakes.

The problem is that we usually blame the wrong person or object instead of placing the blame where it rightfully belongs, on ourselves.

Nothing wrong with Guttenberg, just the guy on the keyboard. Nothing wrong with site content, just the guy who is still learning how to use it.

For example, I had a huge problem yesterday morning with my new keyboard. It absolutely would not wake up. By the way, my new keyboard is still making a lot of mistakes but it is getting much better the more I use it.

But I had a terrible problem. This, indeed was a monumental, horrific disaster. I couldn't get my keyboard or mouse to wake up. They both were sound asleep on my desk But they must wake up. I have to write. They cannot be dead. "Oh" I thought, "What will I do if they won't come to life?" This indeed is a catastrophe of major, monumental significance.

I tried everything to wake them up. I installed 3 different sets of new batteries. I turned them upside down and every which way to see if there was some mysterious, hidden switch that I had never discovered before.

I pushed every key multiple times and in combination with other keys. But no matter what I did, the keyboard was dead and so was my new mouse that came with the new keyboard. Nothing could be seen on my monitor. Yes the tiny, little blue monitor and computer lights were on . I checked every monitor and computer cable, but still, nothing on the monitor.

I was horrified. For a while I thought I might have to take my brand new keyboard and mouse back to Best Buy for repairs. I wailed, "This can't be happening to me. I have too many posts to write. I have to work on my website."

And then, after a long time trying to discover why they would not work, in complete frustration and despair, I decided to turn my computer off and lament my tragic fate. I was certain that my keyboard and mouse were beyond all hope of ever working again.

I waited in despair because of my extremely unfortunate situation. I thought, "This might be a good time for a cup of coffee."

And then after drinking my coffee, I blindly turned my computer back on and magically, wondrously, surprisingly, my Keyboard and mouse came back from the dead and were now fully awake ready for instant use.

They both were staring at me and I think I could hear them say, "It's about time you woke up, you big dummy. Nothing wrong with us. It is you."

I had found the problem!. There was absolutely nothing wrong with my new keyboard and mouse.

I already had known, but had forgotten that these crazy electronic things like computers from time to time need to be re-cycled (turned off and on again).

I was ecstatic. Now I could go to work. Nothing wrong with the poor defenseless keyboard. I did not have to hit it with my boat paddle. It was, just the dummy hopelessly trying to make it work, not knowing how to fix a problem that never existed.

Oh, the magic of recycling came alive in my brain again. When I turned the computer off and on again the computer reprogrammed itself. And the keyboard and mouse instantly came back to life.

The same thing happens with TVs, and other electronic stuff. If it doesn't work, it probably just needs to be recycled. Unplug and re plug the cord into the wall outlet.

But learning anything new is a challenge. For example, I have just been working on Customizing my WordPress website. I make a lot of mistakes when I try to learn something new. I must realize not to blame WordPress, just because I don't understand how to do something.

Can you believe it? my computer crashed and shut itself off, right here in the middle of this post. Dumb computer. Where is my boat paddle? But then it came back on again all by itself. Smart computer indeed.

So here is my kind advice for those who may be upset with a program they don't like here at Wealthy Affiliate:

Don't throw your mouse, monitor, keyboard or computer into the trash or beat them with a boat paddle if they don't perform to your liking. You may be the problem.

Is it ever right to stay angry. The answer is no. We need to learn 3 lessons when we become frustrated.

1. Don't hit our keyboard with a boat paddle.

2. Learn from our mistakes

3. Keep working on learning how to do new things and new programs every day.

So if we are frustrated and angry, maybe a look in the mirror might be a good thing to do instead of blaming something or someone else for a failure of our own making.

Pastor Derry, the Xspurt (unknown small drip under pressure)

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Recent Comments

18

Great post!
What emerges from your good article is that
anger is a bad advisor.

Have a great day!
Ingrid

Thanks Ingrid.

Thanks again for the reminder. Yes, I have to be reminded to unplug every so often. Reboot. Try it again. Computers ugh! People ugh!

Thanks Linda. My compute stays on 24/7. That is why I am surprised when it reboots itself.

But when I hit circuit breakers in my house to do electrical work, the computer will get shut off but it comes on again but sometimes will not reboot.

That is what happened when my keyboard and mouse went to sleep. I shut the power off to fix an electrical problem in my house.

When I turned power on again, the computer started up but did not reboot itself until I did it manually.

Thanks for sharing, Pastor Derry.

Thanks Roger

Very true! Sometimes stepping back and thinking it through, it is not as big a deal, and most of the times something we did.
I feel people don't want to face their own reality about the issue.

Thanks Bill. I agree. It is easier to blame someone or some thing than to work on the problem that is causing us the difficulty.

You are a great writer to say what needs to be said without offending.

This is something I know well but today this reminder is spot on. I thank you for putting it into such beautiful words.

Laura

Thanks Laura for your very kind reply. I very much appreciate your good words.

What a gift you have for writing Pastor Derry!

That was engaging, entertaining and educational.

Thank you!

So glad you are still posting :)

Nicola

Thanks Nicola.

You are very kind. I appreciate very much your encouraging words. I am Learning every day how to write better stuff by following Kyle, Carson and others here at Wealthy Affiliate.

Kyle has great videos and lessons on how to write well.

Pastor Derry

Great Post Pastor,

I've done the same thing lots of times. I've told my wife hundreds of times to turn off her computer and then back on. She still asks what she needs to. So I ask, 'have you turned it off and on yet?' Dead silence.

Vance

Thanks Vance. Sometimes it takes a slow learner like me a long time to learn important stuff.

Yes, it's best to learn from your mistakes.
I lived for 20 years outside the Native village of Ouzinkie. One day when I walked in the village to the store, I saw a pristine-looking outboard, offshore about 30 feet. Someone told me that the guy who owned it got mad at it because it wouldn't start, and threw it in the bay. Woe be to anyone who touched it! He punished the poor innocent motor as he saw fit...the saltwater death.

Thanks Fran. Your story made me laugh.

Sometimes we need to take a step back from a challenging situation. Step away and have a cup of coffee and let the emotions dissipate.

Thanks Glen. I agree.

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