Today I filed for Divorce! Why I am happy ?

Last Update: January 23, 2019

Today I filed for divorce!

How do I feel about that? LIBERATED!


I have heard some people feel sad over filing for divorce as it is a sign of a failure of the marriage.

I get that but for me, I am on a mission this year.

I want a clean start for the future I am creating for myself and my kids.

Filing for divorce is all part of my plan to be focused on my goals for this year as I am

REMAIN POSITIVE

If any of you are in a similar position, try and see it as a positive and channel that into your future. Let go of negatively if you have any.

In my earlier blogs of this new year I wrote about momentum and how it can create opportunities.

My mental strength now is very strong, 2 years ago when I first started in WA. I was an entirely different person.

WA has played a very big part in the rebuilding process.

It is vital you remain with a positive outlook and blank out negativity.

I am taking the positive outlook on my divorce as my soon to be ex wife and I are now very good friend and speak on a regular basis.

We both have partners and I can’t remember the romantic side of our relationship or miss it.

It was not always like that and things were hostile for a time but one day I just let go of the bitterness and hate and she followed.

Soon I felt more relaxed and happier and was able to move on.

Things have been falling into place ever since do I wanted to share this experience and my feelings with you as I am big on the subject of momentum and things falling into place at the moment.

Forgiveness can be a liberating experience and can lead to good things happening.


Life’s to short to bear grudges.












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Jud8 Premium
Forgiveness and Love are such wonderful life Energies that should be incorporated into our lives consciously every day and in turn we can feel growth and opportunities develop in all areas of our lives.

Even when a stranger shows us bitterness we should react in Love. Why? Because keep in mind that these are just tests! So be sure you are consciously aware that you always want to pass the test that live brings us.

Have a Great Day!
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Jenna11 Premium
Awesome self-developement!
Very happy for you, Darren!

People often hold on to not working relationship cause they have invested a lot into it. I often waited too long with former relationships, too.
My marriage get better and better!! :-))) Very happy about it!

Enjoy and live up to you!

Aloha, Jenna
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dalwhu Premium
Thanks Jenna
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fontash Premium
You should be happy, you deserve it, all of you. I grieved the death of my marriage for 9 of the 13 years that we were in it. It was my second marriage, double whammy, and I was determined to keep it together for the kids. My leaving was precipitated by my second youngest son asking me "mom,why are you mad all the time?" I realized he was so RIGHT, I had lost the happy, always laughing person that I was. Leaving the marriage was the best thing I could have done, everyone is happier, including the children that I was trying to protect by staying. It's been over a decade now and I have never regretted making that decision. I feared failing my children and that fear of failure cost us all a lot of years of unhappiness, I will never fear the "perception of failure" again, or let it stop my forward momentum in life.
Cheers,
Sherri
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dalwhu Premium
Hi Sherri

We have to sometimes have reality hit us hard and we do what we do for our children. Staying in a marriage for the sake of the children never works so I know you made the right choice and time has showed you did.

Darren
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Swangirl Premium
Good for you! It sounds like you are both where you need to be but it is wonderful that you can be friends still. I had amicable break ups with all my ex's (though I was not married before) and my husband thought that was strange. Now I think he gets it more. He went through a bitter divorce and swore he would never get married again...I knew that would change and it did, but it took 5 years for him to ask me.
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dalwhu Premium
I’m glad you both found each other, I’m still friends with a few of mine from when I was younger as we were in the same social group in my home town.

Early on I never thought it would get to this point and I’m glad i chose to let go as that’s when things started to change
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Swangirl Premium
Thanks. I hope your life continues to improve now!
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As402 Premium
You have a very good perspective of the circumstances. Having gone through a divorce myself, I found that forgiveness of one's self is a heart wrenching emotional endeavor. Letting go was difficult, but when we do and move on life brings a more enduring relationship with someone else. The best wishes for you both.
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Flash4 Premium
Hi Darren,
I wish all "ex's" felt like you and get on with life without hatred and 'pay back'.

My daughter is having a rough time of it. 2 yrs on and her ex is still trying to defeat her. She hates having the kids go to his place every fortnight as it is a long way from their home and makes the travel difficult for my daughter.

I am having to move in with her to help with the rent etc. Not sure how it will turn out, but as things are, we work together quite well so must keep positive.

I wish you all the best Darren, a new starting point. Trust your kids are OK with it all.

Cheers Jae ♫
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dalwhu Premium
Hi Jae

The kids struggled as I did to begin, 2 of the boys live with me and my eldest has his own flat.

The house is full of laughter again and music.

I’m sorry to hear that your daughter is having a rough time and I hope her exe can one day see how he his effecting others.

I hope the situation for her will get better this year.

it’s not easy I know, an old school friend is going through a similar situation in her life.

I will be thinking of you, your daughter and grandchildren and I sincerely hope things work out.

Best wishes.

Darren
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BusyGirl Premium
For me, it was about 9 years ago. The first 3 months were very hard, death of a dream (growing old together, watching our kids grow up together, etc.) I cried every day. Then it suddenly hit me, if I was going through it this hard, what were my kids going through? I wasn't see it through their eyes and that's what made me stop feeling sorry for myself and focus on helping them through it, instead. I had a new mission.

About that same time, I came across this quote which summed it up perfectly for me... you can also find it on my blog https://lovedarla.com/new-directions/

Best wishes to you and your kids!
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dalwhu Premium
Thankyou

I’m glad you are happy now as well.

It is hard and yes I had those emotions but now I can look back I know it was for the best and for us it has turned out for the better.

There was lots of circumstances for the breakup and now it’s all over our friendship has blossomed and I feel much better having it this way.

Thankyou for the quote, I will look it up !
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SondraM Premium
Well, all you can do is move forward in life.

It is weird how after a time you forget about the positive, romantic side of a relationship after things fall apart. I guess that is a built in survival mechanism.

I wish you an extremely productive, happy and successful 2019.
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dalwhu Premium
Thankyou Sondra and I wish the same for you.
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dirtdevil Premium
It's a clean slate and the rest will be determined by you...much luck and success in the coming year.
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dalwhu Premium
Thank you and the same for you.
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ArtOZan Premium
Thanks to your blog I have a better outlook and more appreciative of good things that come out of change and uncertain times.
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dalwhu Premium
I am glad sharing my experiences have helped
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Sui_generis Premium
Forgiveness is for YOU not the other person. I'm glad that you can remain friends.
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LindaF Premium
Been there, done that and know how it feels. Sometimes there are better things in wait for you but you just didn't know it.

Even though you are liberated from a relation there are the Kids that keep you united though out the rest of your life. You still share there genies and there love hold that near to your heart and you will be fine.

always a better way
Linda
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dalwhu Premium
Hi Linda

We still go out as a family when she visits as she lives in different country because of work, I kept the kids.

The kids enjoy it and we are always united for them.

Best wishes

Darren
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LindaF Premium
That's the way it should be, It will be hard at times, to make that transit, but it seems you have balanced it out always keep that in mind and the kids will do fine.
always a better way
Linda
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SnazzyIT Premium
I was once in your situation and yes, it gets better when you let go. I have since remarried and happy now. Sometimes we need to detox off people and things to be able to breathe properly. I had to do this to my own mum once :) another story lol
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dalwhu Premium
Hi

I’ve done it to my dad a few times ! Lol
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RussellO1 Premium
There's that lightness and freedom that comes from true forgiveness that nothing else can beat. Wow. Sorry to hear of the divorce but glad to know that you all have found a way to be friends.
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dalwhu Premium
Hi Russell

It’s a Shame yes but we are both happy and still value our friendship.

It doesn’t normally turn out like this for many separated couples I guess
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RussellO1 Premium
That's so true and I can identify with that because I to am divorced and my ex and I get along much better now than when we were married.
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FKelso Premium
Good for you -- moving on; doing what you have to; keeping up a good attitude. I think you will be fine.
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dalwhu Premium
Thankyou
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jillxyz Premium
Forgiveness is a beautiful thing eh? Proud of you. Cheers AJ
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dalwhu Premium
Thankyou
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1signbanner Premium
Great decision buddy! I know over the time you both were separated, you did it on your own. Now you have adjusted. The months have given you 'strength' of independence.

That is power Darren. Attachment to her was, to me, weakening your 'being' Darren. You always had the strength and you just know it. Nobody can give it to you , you got it by yourself.

I am freakin' proud of you! You go young man and build your empire. You are all power! With your supportive kids and people here who love you, you have everything!

NOW GO YOUNG MAN, THE SKIES THE LIMIT!


frank
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dalwhu Premium
Thankyou Frank

I totally agree and you can now hold me accountable!

Hope your well my friend
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1signbanner Premium
Yes I am my friend, I know you are!

Forward and upward! Make your kids proud!
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