It's Never as Bad as you Imagined it would be

byDadaz123

2K followers

3 years ago

Just as it is never as good as you think it would be, it is equally never as bad as you imagine it would be. Don’t get me wrong. I know things can go very bad in a world where nothing is assured. COVID-19 has shown us how transient life can be.

COVID-19 and Multiple Deaths

Families watched their loved ones separated from them without being able to say their final goodbyes. From a detached distance, they watched life ebb out of their dear ones on cellphones and iPad s. As a nation, we watched helplessly as this virus decimated more than half a million of our fellow Americans. This figure is higher than all the lives we lost in all the wars we have fought to date and 911 included. This is a horrendous chapter in the history of this country. There’s no doubt about it.

Tell someone whose loved one has been snatched by the icy hands of COVID-19 that it’s never as bad as you think and he will look at you as if you do not know what you are talking about. I have had a first-hand experience with the death of a loved one. I lost my son eighteen years ago and It left a big chasm in my life. The pain will not go away. That’s bad enough.

Are you being Success Averse?

But that’s not my preoccupation with this post. Just as people are plagued by fear of failing at a project and never getting it off the ground, some people’s fear is how to handle the success that comes along with the project. They are so success-averse that they are afraid and would do anything to avoid it! Isn’t it ironic that the success that people strive day and night to achieve is the same success that this set of people strive to avoid?

One of the ways fear toys with your mind is by conjuring up all sorts of things that could go wrong. It would start by reminding you of your incompetence. It will not forget to let you know that you had tried your hand at something similar not too long ago and you were not successful. So what made you think you would be successful this time around? It would harp on all sorts of fears to discourage you. If you succumb to the fears, you will relent your efforts, make a decision that the project is too risky for you to undertake, and lose the opportunity to some other entrepreneur who is ready to take that step of faith.

My Public Speaking Debut

I remember a time I agreed to give a speech to a group of high school graduating students. I do not know how many of you are comfortable giving public speeches. I wasn’t, but I accepted all the same. The topic looked safe enough. I was to advise this set of fine young men on what to expect when they step out of the four walls of their school into the world. I felt I had real-life experiences that would enrich the lives of these young men. So I felt happy to be able to share my experiences with them.

One week to the date, I started feeling a phobia for the speech I was about to give. I felt that lurch in my stomach. When was the last time I gave a speech? How was it received? How am I sure this speech would be well-received? Am I going to make the right impression? What if I made the wrong impression? All these and more were the questions coursing through my mind as the day approached.

Three days to the date, I felt like calling the school to cancel but I resisted the urge. I reminded myself that I had made a commitment and would fulfill it.

On the appointed day, I felt real trepidation as I prepared for the event. I made sure I put on my best suit and had rehearsed the speech a couple of times to bolster my confidence. When I took the stage, I felt some dryness in my mouth. My voice quavered a little but I tore through the speech. I felt my voice steady as I shared my experiences with the audience. My narration drew a few laughs which I found comforting. As I shared my last words, the audience erupted in thunderous applause. I felt vindicated.

See. It was not as bad as I had thought it would be.

Ways to combat Fear of venturing into a project

There are many ways you can combat fear when you are about to embark on a project. I would like to zero in on two principally because I have dealt with the other ways in my earlier write-ups.

The first one is to conjure up the worst-case scenario. You ask yourself the question: What is the worst thing that can happen to you as you launch into this project? Can you handle it? Is it a loss of money? Could it be a loss of reputation or even a loss of life? It may not be comfortable but is it something you can live with? In my case, the worst-case situation I could be booed or pelted with eggs, tomatoes, or in an extreme case stones! There could also be a loss of reputation as a result.

I examined each scenario and decided I would be comfortable with them. The last scenario was a little scary though, but I dismissed it as an extreme case.

Conceiving worst-case scenarios helps us to prepare and minimize problems that could result in accidents, quality, and other issues.

Immediately, I made up my mind I would be comfortable with any of the outcomes, I felt liberated from a load of fear.

The second method is to adopt a 10,000 feet or helicopter view of the problem. When you adopt a 10,000 feet view of the problem, you magically catapult yourself 10,000 feet in astral travel and look down at the problem. For some reason, the problem does not look as menacing as it had looked At that height, the problem looks minuscule and solvable. From that view, you are looking at the problem shorn of all the details.

Conclusion

As human beings, we have a tendency to project fear more than it is real especially when we are faced with something we have never done before. We 3x the negative outcome of an event even before we have given it a try. That anticipation can keep us from attempting it.

If we conceive of the worst-case scenario and get comfortable with all the possible outcomes, we feel more confident to venture into the project.