Beware the Dark Side!
Ok, admit it. You just heard Darth Vader in your head.
I'm not talking about the Force right now, though. Rather, I am referring to the negative thoughts we sometimes have.
Recently, I commented on how I want to adjust my writing a bit and focus more on the positive side of things. I don't mean to say that I will deny the existence of unpleasantness, or anything, but I just want to keep the focus on positivity.
A number of years ago, I read my first book dealing with the topic of guarding our thoughts. It was an Anthony Robbins book, but I forget which one. I suspect it was Awaken the Giant Within. In it, Robbins discusses NLP, or Neuro-linguistic programming. It was basically his assertion that we need to monitor our thoughts and keep them positive at all times. This included the language we use, so that if we want to go for a walk and see that it's raining, instead of saying "I hate rainy days" we might instead say "I prefer sunny days". The idea being that you want to keep all negativity out of your mind and life.
That made a lot of sense to me at the time. It still does. Not long after reading it, I remember hearing how NLP had not just fallen out of favour, but had been pretty thoroughly discredited. If you look at many of the self-help, New Age and inspirational books that are popular today, however, you still see that basic idea-- that we need to guard against negative thoughts. Where we once said that the language we use influences our mindset, we now say that our thoughts create our reality. Similar reasoning. The things we think, and how we think them, have an effect upon us.
Having decided to become more aggressively positive, I noticed some changes pretty quickly. Money came out of nowhere to allow me to pay some overdue bills, for example. More recently, I had some good luck in regards to my site, in that a game developer agreed to be interviewed by me (despite the fact that I have never interviewed someone other than potential employees), and they also offered to share some info on the project they are developing.
So, I know that being positive and visualising desired outcomes absolutely has an effect. Now, you can call it the Law of Attraction, or simply "psyching myself up", but I have seen what it can do.
So, knowing how powerful our thoughts are, why do we continue to focus on the negative? Even me. As much as I am trying to change my way of thinking, I will occasionally catch myself "slipping". Often it happens during another otherwise positive thought:
"Alright! I get to interview these game designers! Don't know why they agreed to it, since my site is so unknown."
"Cool, I got a referral! Too bad he won't go premium."
"My site is starting to look pretty good. I just wish it would earn me even one sale."
I see and hear other people doing the same thing all the time, and I am not sure why. Sometimes it seems like we are not willing to accept good things. When good things happen, well, you'd better enjoy it while you can. Having a streak of good luck? Uh-oh. Something bad must be just around the corner.
In response to this, I have started to fight back against that negative voice inside me. Any time I catch myself thinking a negative thought, I immediately try to counter it with something positive:
"Ugh. I still don't have a job. But I am getting to spend a ton of time with the kids-- much more than dad did with us."
"I have no money. And yet, I am getting the bills paid somehow."
"My site has no real traffic to speak of. Well, not yet, but it's slowly increasing."
"I'm getting old and have nothing to show for all my work. But I still have more hair than most of my high school friends! Ha ha!"
And believe it or not, this is having an effect. It hasn't made me rich (yet), but I feel happier and have less stress. I have gone from worrying how we will make it through each month to just knowing we will. I also know that it's a matter of time before I start earning online.
So, if you are like me and keep having that negativity sneaking into your thoughts, just smack it down right away and find whatever is positive instead. Believe me, there is always something, and it will change your mindset.
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After writing this, I went and read a bit more about it, actually. I don't have the best memory in the world, but I remember that when I was introduced to the idea in that particular book, it was really emphasised as being related to thought and language. I don't remember anything being said about touch.
That could be my faulty memory, or just the way the book was written. I am not too sure. Maybe it's just the thought portion that stuck with me for some reason.
Thanks for commenting and pointing that out!
Oops...hit the button too soon. Anyway...good for you. Whenever I'm aware of my negative thoughts, I literally repeat, "cancel, cancel" and replace it with the positive. Being conscious of our talk is the first step. Thanks for sharing. Debbie
Thanks for responding!
It sounds so simple: "think positive!!"
In reality, it is pretty hard to maintain. Many of us have bad thought habits. It really does take a conscious effort.
Craig ~you must be exhausted with that bothersome thinking. Thinking positive, or recasting as positive has its advantages.
First rule of NLP - try something. Second rule - if that doesn't work, try something else. Lots to try.
I add ceremony to my positive thinking. eg when using my office in the grotto (downstairs, basement) I announce to the house "The money candle is lit", allowing me later (much for fire safety) to declare "the money candle is out."
Larry
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It is true! I think you are right in that the more you consciously reverse negative thoughts now, the more naturally they will come to you later and pretty soon...it's automatic! Thanks for the good reminder of how we need to train our thoughts to work for us.