Don't look down!
Heights are not my thing!
This is a serious understatement!! Open stairs - acrylic railings - bridges - Nope! I don't do them. I had to attend a reception at the top floor of a New York hotel one time. The entrance to the venue was just off the hallway above the mezzanine. I have no idea how far down the real floor was, but the walk way was red carpet with acrylic handrails and a very 'interesting' cut out away from the actual walls of this building. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing holding this floor up and nothing to keep me from falling off of it. By the time I reached the reception hall, I was in full panic mode. I slammed more than a few drinks, found a friend who was kind enough to let me hug the stuffing out of him and help me get out of there. It was bad!!!
I'm not in my comfort zone... yet
This is still all new. I'm learning what to do and am doing
the training, and all but this is not second nature to me. If I'm not told what to do and how, it's not something that I would have a clue about - yet.
Just look forward and keep going!
I'm trying! Straight ahead. Run my race. Do my thing. Do the lessons. Write the posts. I feel like this trusting goldfish praying that there will be a larger fish bowl waiting for me. It will be ok. I believe!!!
But I blinked!
I read the posts of colleagues, as we should. Always happy to learn more. I know there is so much more that I don't know about all of this than where I am at right now. That should be ok. I'm pretty good at talking myself through it and forward - most of the time.
But this morning I blinked. I had a split second when I
allowed my mind that briefest moment of 'oh, holy crap! How am I ever going to learn all that? I don't even know what they're talking about. I should... I can't.......' and it just took off running before I could stop it! I had the same feeling as when I was in that hotel. I looked down. Oh, silly me!!!
So here I sit, trying to stop this run-way train.
Trying to put the genie back in his dark bottle. Oy! Take a breath and take a step forward. Don't look down! I can do this. Lesson by lesson. Post by post. Step by step.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. Do my thing. Run my race. Do the lessons. You got this. Re-read my affirmations. Breathe. I can do this!!!
Regather. Refocus.
Take a break.
Find my balance again.
Trust the training.
Trust this great community.
Take another breath. Don't look down.
Now, go grab another cup of tea and get back to work!
It will be fine! You got this!
Christine
Recent Comments
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Ah Christine I can absolutely relate to how you feel, there are times I feel like an imposter here - that I will be found out because so much of what I learn is so out of my comfort zone.
Yes there is much to learn, know, implement and take action on and it can be quite overwhelming, but we are all in this TO-GET-HER.
As you say this is not a RACE and each step you take forward is the distance you have gotten since you first stepped into this world, and for that, you should be SO PROUD!
Breathe in for 4 - Hold for 4 - Exhale for 8 x 3 times - it works!
You're not alone in here - Jules
SO glad to share this journey with you. We'll make it through together. I'm not going anywhere. Just a speed bump. We can and will make this happen! Thanks for your wonderful note. I know I'm not alone! Let's go make it happen. Today will be a better day!!!
Christine
This is such a beautiful love letter to yourself Christine . . . yes, a love letter. Taking the time to process what you are feeling and be kind enough to wrap your mental arms (and maybe physical arms :-) around yourself is an act of courage and self love.
You've definitely got this!
Best,
~m
Thanks for this! Kind of needed it! Today will be a much better day. Thank you so much for a great life-line! Christine
Hanks for sharing this, Christine. And always remember, a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. If you have a direction and you keep going, you will reach your goal. Sometimes the goal needs to be tweaked a bit. But that's normal. No maps tells you everything you need to know about the territory. On the other hand, the WA map is pretty darn accurate.
Take care
Dan
Thank you, Dan! Have lots of people pulling me up on this one! If it wasn't for their great training, none of this would be remotely possible for me! Appreicate the good words. Thanks for checking in and dropping a note. It's always great to hear from you!
Christine
See more comments
I relate to this as well. That's my biggest issue, I think.
got to start hugging myself instead of hittin my head against a wall, (not literally).
Your right, though. It's about reminding ourselves it's not a race and if we just follow the training, one step at a time, we will get there.
OK. I can do this,
Wayne
Good to know I'm not alone! Thanks for this, Wayne! Glad to be sharing this journey with you. It's always great to hear from you. We'll get through this together! Today will be a better day!
Christine