Dealing with an Unsupportive Spouse
Opposites attract! Ever noticed that?
In many cases, when one spouse wants to start a home-based business of any kind, the other spouse is EXTREMELY negative and unsupportive, for whatever reason.
In many cases, this "negativity" is warranted and justified because the one spouse has tried many different home-based businesses and money making opportunities, but never followed through with ANY of them.
Now, the new business idea is just the "idea of the month" and your partner knows there is a good chance you will quit AGAIN.
If you have a supportive spouse, consider yourself blessed. You are one of the lucky few. If your spouse is skeptical, negative, or unsupportive about your new business, this is what I suggest you do.
# 1: Take Your Business Seriously
This is the most important thing you can do because if you quit, you prove them right. Show them you are COMMITTED and this isn't just your idea of the month. Set time to work on your business each day and stick with it, no matter what.
# 2: Include Them
Show them what you do. Share your progress with them each week. Keep track of your stats and show them how your business has grown each week, or each month. Ask them for their help from time to time.
# 3: Share Your Goals
Tell your spouse WHY you are building a business in the first place. Let them know how the extra time and money can help your family. Share your weekly, monthly and yearly business goals with them. Celebrate your small successes.
# 4: Ask Them to be Neutral
Let your spouse know that you don't expect them to help you with your business, but you would appreciate that they at least be neutral, and not critical of what you are doing.
# 5: Keep a good attitude.
Stay positive and upbeat at all times, even when your business isn't growing as fast as you'd like it to. Even if your spouse "nit picks" make sure you do not get defensive. Just stay positive. Remember, positive attracts and negative repels.
# 6: Be Supportive of Them
No matter what they say or do, be supportive of your spouse. If they ask for your help, help them. Make sure you schedule a "date night" every week. Be affectionate and kind. When your spouse shares their progress at their day job, be their biggest cheerleader. If your spouse or partner wants to talk to you about their day, sit down and listen.
One Final Point
I am not a fan of "splitting up" or "divorce." However, if your spouse has continously been critcial of you day in and day out, you have a tough decision to make. Do you keep your business or do you keep your spouse?
Only you can make that decision. I don't think your spouse has the right to tell you that you can or can't have a business, but that is just my opinion. As I see it, your spouse should be the ONE PERSON in the world who IS supportive of you.
Ultimately, you have to determine if you want to spend your entire life with someone who is critical of everything you do. That's a tough decision to make, so make sure you put some serious thought into it.
Final Thoughts
Finally, be the best spouse you can be. Love and support them in everything they do, even if they don't support you with your business. Chances are, they'll come around. And if not, at least you know you did your best.
As a disclaimer, I am not a minister, marriage counselor or shrink. This is just my opinion from what I have learned.
Recent Comments
84
Great advice Chuck.
It can be frustrating when we are not getting the support we need from spouses. Its beautiful to know how to deal with that.
Excellent advice! My spouse was extremely unsupportive toward the beginning of my WA journey. I wasn't making money yet and it was touching a nerve because I was spending a lot of time writing posts. We made it over that hurdle. There have been a few more since, but it is getting a lot better.
Best wishes,
Karin 😁
Chuck, this was really great to read! I haven't told my spouse about this because of his negativity. Only my daughters know about it. I feel like Donna, when I show him the money coming in then he will be on board.
You know what I have learned? Doesn't matter if they come on board or not because this is for you, about you, and only you need to be happy with the results. Life and people are never fair and most not open to new ways so it takes people like use to find, invent, follow, teach and repeat to keep this world moving positively forward! :)
I don't have to worry about unsportive spouse but non of my family would or is supportive because I have "waisted" alot of money in my learning about and trying for find the right affiliate marketing training program for me. Yep I have made mistakes but I am learning from each of them. It should be very helpful when writing my comparisons! LOL I will tell them when I buy them all tickets to a cruize next year as a family gift! They will keep their mouth shut and want to know more then!
First they call you crazy and when you become successful they call you lucky or ask if you are hiring. People are cray cray!
Yep and I have met alot of them. My kids have seen me fail and their so against anything I try because they have seen me make so big finacial mistakes but I earned it and it was MY mistake and people need to understand that not all of us are the same and some of us see more in our stars than others. I've been called alot of names by alot of people so I just go on doing what I think is good for me and not worry about the nay sayers. I figure I will find not only financial but complete happnies whenI prove myself to myself and all the right people who believe in me will be there no matter what.
Chuck
I'm guessing you are headed for your 60 year anniversay, judging from that practical wisdom.
But you don't LOOK old enough for that.
So I guess you're just smart.
Rick
Chuck, I really meant that.
I especially liked the point about asking them to be neutral.
I'm going to try that one for sure.
Good points too, those others. I'm going to use those as a self-check.
Thank you
Rick
Fortunately the only one at my house who might not like what I am doing is the cat. From time to time he comes in and asks for my attention; otherwise, he is pretty good.
You know, having gone through my share of husbands, I agree. The cat is far less trouble...and he doesn't argue.
That sounds like great advice. I am very lucky. My husband is very supportive. He did not understand it at the very beginning and got a bit annoyed that I spent so much time on the computer (though he does the same thing). Now he is totally supportive however, proud of my accomplishments and believes I will keep doing better and better.
Lol typical that they spend same amount of time on what they like, then they accuse us once our attention is focused elsewhere 😂
Build it big while you are single so when you find that someone special you have plenty of time and money to enjoy life.
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This is such good advice, and easier said than done. I try to include my spouse but I don't think he really cares what i'm doing or just isn't really taking any of it seriously because there's no money coming in yet.
On the other hand, I can see his frustration because he is taking care of me and three kids financially so it can be hard on him too.
Thanks for sharing.
It's good to try and see each other's point of view.