My Lack Of Work Ethic
Theres a part of me that I've come to have a deeper knowing recently. Its something I feel I need to express right now; to be vulnerable. But not vulnerable for vulnerability's sake or because its fashionable. Its my belief that vulnerability leads to freedom because it burns off the emotional baggage that surrounds a part of ourselves that is uncomfortable to us. A part that is even scarier to reveal to others.
So this painful realization is that I have a very poor work ethic. Up until now, the level of willingness to work that I've displayed will get me absolutely nowhere. And it would be such a tragic waste if I remain this way because I do have strengths which can serve me well. I have good mindsets and attitudes, I'm intelligent, I have a good heart with good intentions, and in the past year I've bought more people into my life who are supportive. It would be a tragedy to be known as the guy who gave great advice; to forever have to look myself in the mirror and face the fact that I'm nothing but an armchair life enthusiast.
However, I do feel that I will 'correct' this character flaw. The reason I got here is because over the years I kept rewarding myself for doing nothing. This is what we do when we continually choose to indulge in short-term gratification. We condition ourselves to feel good (getting the reward) by pressing the easy button. The easy button for me has been orgasms, a beer (or 6), a joint. But it also includes the self-help trap: knowledge gathering without application, making lists, making plans, writing about things, etc.
What I love about this community is that I keep coming across the mantra of "work hard and the results will come." Reading this over and over again has motivated me to resolve this severely lacking part of my character. The lifestyle freedom I desire requires it and by being here I know that not only will I achieve this goal, better yet I will get the reward of becoming the man, the person I know Im capable of being.