Precious Memories of Mom

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3.7K followers

Today (February 6) is the first anniversary of my dear, sweet mother's death. I'd like to share an article I wrote for her funeral as a memorial to her today.

She was known by many names. Prior to her marriage, she was Ida Mae Buckingham---Student, Playmate, Teacher, Friend. After her marriage, she was Mrs. Howard Van Baale--Howard's blushing bride. To the multitude of students who passed through her classrooms over the years, she was Mrs. Van Baale, or Teacher. To her many friends and family, she was Daughter, Sister, Aunt Ida Mae, Cousin, or just plain Ida Mae. To the children who received restored toys at Christmas time, she was Mrs. Santa Claus. But to us, she was Mama, Ida Mom, Mother, Mom, Grandma Van, Iowa Mae, Mama Mia, or Grammy.

Mom did not work outside the home until we were all four in school. Instead, she utilized her creativity and sewing skills to supplement our family's income. She placed an ad in "The Kitchen Clatter" magazine and made doll clothes for her many clients. Sheryll and Carol had no idea that she was making the doll clothes they received for Christmas right under their noses!

Mom was very tiny, and it always amazed us that we could hear her walking toward the stairway when we were supposed to be asleep. Many nights Sheryll and I had to hastily extinguish the flashlight we were using to read with as we heard her marching toward the stairs to come check on us.

When we moved to the farm where Lynn and H'Ben Cabbage live, we slept in an unheated room upstairs. Mom warmed up our beds with a brick that she heated in the oven, wrapped in several towels, and placed at our feet.

Mom spent many years attending summer and night classes and taking correspondence courses in order to complete her bachelor's degree. One of her art projects became a family affair as we all pitched in to help her build a colorful, imaginative paiper mache zoo. Kaye still has the red and white zebra that we helped her create.

Mom has always loved dolls. She collected vintage dolls, and made several different types of soft sculpted dolls. During the Cabbage Patch craze, Mom took orders and made several "VB Babies" for parents who were unable to get a real Cabbage Patch Kid for their children to receive from Santa Claus. She built the bodies, and Dad put the heads on for her. Then she dressed each one. When a "VB Baby" was adopted, it arrived with a hand written note from the baby requesting its new mother to give it a pretty name, and to give it plenty of love. Kirk has a pair of twins that Mom made him and TC to keep their furkids company.

After she was widowed, Mom took a year to get her affairs in order, then sold her house and moved into an apartment. When she was settled in, she joined Brethren Volunteer Service for a year. At the age of 67, she was by far the oldest volunteer in her group, and was referred to as "Mom" by many of the younger volunteers. During the time she served at Jubilee Partners in Comer, Georgia, she taught English to refugees from Central America.

Mom had a long and eventful life, and lacked just three months of being 98 when she died. When she was in her 80s, we asked her to write her life story. It took her five years to complete the writing and send it to Carol for typing, select the photographs to include, and assemble the finished masterpiece. What a treasure!

Mom, we love you. We remember you singing all the time--doing housework, planting flowers, gardening, and in the car on the long trips back and forty from Iowa to Georgia and North Carolina. We miss you, but rejoice with you that you are at peace, reunited with all your loved ones, and have finally come home to Iowa.

Please join us in singing "Standing On The Promises" with Ida Mae as she sings it with the angels.

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Recent Comments

27

That is beautiful Carol. I am glad you have so many wonderful memories with your sweet mother! She sounds absolutely wonderful.

Since I grew up in a cabin in the woods it got very cold and I went to bed with an old fashioned iron (without the handle) wrapped in towels as well. Reading your story made me remember that. I don't think many people my age have such memories.

Thank you for sharing such an interesting story and such a wonderful tribute to your Mom.

Jessica

Thanks, Jessica. I appreciate it. You know, grieving comes and goes in unexpected times. I expected to cry when I was typing the post last night, but I didn't. I was happy remembering the wonderful person she was. Guess I'm starting to heal. Carol

What a blessing to have had her all those years. She sounded like a very special person cherished by many, not just her family but many others also. When we lose are parents we remember them always and the good times with them. My mom has been gone for 18 years but I remember how she used to tell us "stories" she would make up in the telling to a bunch of us, my sister and the neighborhood bunch as we sat around her on a chilly night. Also on a Saturday my sister and I would bake something good with my mom guiding us. Then we would sit down to a movie and enjoy. Always always we shall remember. Hope today is a happy one full of the memories and love you shared with her.

Thanks, Darleen. You know, I expected to be sad yesterday, but I wasn't. I'm happy for her that she is reunited with her entire family...she outlived everyone except one double cousin, who just died a couple weeks ago at the age of 98. Guess I have longeviity genes! And you're right, the special memories make me smile instead of crying now. Carol

I love the name Iowa Mae. Precious memories Carol!

Thanks, Mike. I like it, and Ida Mom as well. When my Dad died 30 years ago, I wrote a similar article for his funeral. I had the minister read it because I didn't think I could, but was sorry because he mispronounced one of Dad's "names". When I gave the article I wrote for Mom's funeral to her minister, Tim told me he thought I should read it. I told him I didn't think I could, but he reassured me that if I broke down, he'd have my back. I'm glad I was able to read it myself. Carol

A wonderful tribute to what sounds like a remarkable woman!
Blessings,
Christina

Thanks, Christina. When I was a kid, I didn't realize how wonderful she was...I thought everyone's mother was like her. But I found out otherwise! Carol

I really enjoyed this, Carol. It is very moving. Your mom was really a virtuous and compassionate woman. She is forever at peace and singing with the angels.
Bless you!

David

Thanks, David. She was a preacher's daughter, and both of her grandfathers were also ministers, so I think it was in her blood! But yes, she was very compassionate, and always put other people ahead of herself. She truly lived her religious beliefs. Carol.

The life story was a brilliant idea and should give much pleasure. I think that is a practice which should be encouraged, as we can all learn from history.

You're right, John. It is a treasure. I know her so much better from having typed her manuscript and helping her assemble the photos she wanted to use in it. I'm happy I was able to be involved in the process. I might do the same for my son, but my life isn't as interesting as hers was....and certainly hasn't been as long! Carol

Thanks for sharing Carol, really nice to read.

Wayne

Thanks, Wayne. It was therapeutic for me to write it for her funeral. I was surprised that I was able to read it without breaking down, though.
Carol

That's a really beautiful tribute to your mum. Thanks so much sharing

Thanks, Mia. I appreciate it. Carol

What an absolutely beautiful tribute to your dear mother..so heartfelt and full of integrity and joy. Your writing tells its own story! I feel like I knew her from all your descriptions and stories within stories! Wonderfully written--perfectly treasured! Is her book in publication?

Glad we're connected and see you around again!

Thanks, H.Erin. I tried to get the Brethren Publishing House (her denomination) to publish it because the Church of the Brethren is such an integral part of her life and her book, but they said that they don't print autobiographies. I wore out a printer making copies, inserted each page in plastic page protectors, and it filled a one inch three ring binder. I think the final count was 25 because people kept asking for copies. Carol

Bless your heart, Carol. I can relate. I would have done anything to preserve my Mother's memory, too..and I have. Maybe there's another alternative in getting your Mother's book published.

Again, beautiful tribute.

Thanks, H.Erin. I might pursue that someday, but right now my plate is full of WA! Carol

Yeah, I hear ya!

That's a beautiful remembering, Carol! Thank yo so much for sharing. The detail about her writing her life story was impressive - what a wonderful thing for every one of her family to inherit!

Thanks, Ivy. Perhaps I inherited her writing ability as well! We ended up wearing out a printer and making 25 copies of the book because so many of her cousins and friends wanted one. I have mine on my coffee table. I should have taken a pic of it and added it to my post. Too bad I didn't think of that last night!

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