Memories Of A Dear Friend

byCarolMeador

3.7K followers

Updated 6 years ago

Today would have been the 71st birthday of one of my best friends, who died in September last year. I was unable to attend her funeral, so I wrote the following memorial, which was read in my absence. I would like to share it with you now to honor her on her birthday.

Memories of a Life-Long Friend

I believe that the first time I met Avonell was at the fourth birthday party of my cousin, Donna Rae Van Baale. There was a little girl there that I did not know.

Many years later, Avonell was talking about that party, and we figured out that she must have been that little girl. The Prochaskas lived down by the Morgan Valley Church and knew my Uncle Wayne Van Baale's family.

I first got acquainted with Avonell in third grade, when the country schools were closed, and our class gained several new students. Avonell was one of them.

She lived on a farm and had a gorgeous collie named Laddie. I had always wanted to live on a farm, and spent many happy weekends with the Prochaskas.

Most of the time we played outside when I was there, but one summer it rained a lot, and Avonell's mother, Dorothy, dubbed me "Chief Rain-in-the-Face" because I seemed to bring rain with me whenever I visited there.

I loved spending time at the Prochaska's, where Avonell and I had many adventures together. Laddie accompanied us when we played in their creek, and Avonell and I laughed at him because he would walk across the creek on the rocks to avoid getting his feet wet.

I wore a hole in the seat of my flannel-lined jeans sliding down Prochaska's bank. I don't recall if Avonell's pants met the same fate, but I do remember Dorothy teasing me about the red flannel lining of my jeans showing through the holes!

One Saturday morning when the Prochaskas had come to town to do their weekly shopping, Ave and I discovered a "pretty mud puddle" by Brubaker's farm implement dealership. We were having a wonderful time playing in the "pretty water" until Dorothy discovered what we were up to.

We didn't understand why she was so upset with us. Avonell had on a new pair of little white boots, and they were covered with oil. Dorothy told me many years later that she had a terrible time getting those boots clean.

Avonell and I created a zoo of Dr. Suess-like creatures that we drew and colored. We made up nonsensical names for the new animals, described their diets, habits, likes and dislikes, the language they spoke, and where they lived.

We spread them out on the merry-go-round on the playground at recess so that we could admire our handiwork, and acted out stories we made up about our creatures' adventures.

When we were in about 4th or 5th grade, Avonell requested a dictionary for her birthday. Her mother did not understand why she had requested such a gift, but Avy treasured that book. When I spent the night with her, we would sneak it under the covers and read it with a flashlight while we were supposed to be sleeping.

Avonell and Jolene had two baby goats that we enjoyed playing with. It was fun to watch them frolicking with each other and jumping up on top of things. Being a "towny", I was a bit uncomfortable when they jumped up on me, but Ave and Joy had no problems with it, and even encouraged them.

When we got older, I stayed with the Prochaskas on weekends when we went to the Apple Grove Orchard to pick apples. I don't remember how much we were paid, but I DO remember how hot it was. The owner of the orchard gave us a watermelon and told us we could eat all the apples that we wanted. What fun!

I don't think my parents realized that I still had homework to do one weekend when we picked apples. After we got back to Avonell's house, I still had to write and type my term paper for American History class.

I remember sitting at their kitchen table pecking at that little Royal portable typewriter, having to erase errors, ruining the page, throwing it away, and starting it over again. I still find it amazing that I was able to complete that task before I had to go home the next day.

When we were in high school, our extracurricular activities took us in different directions. I was active in musical activities, while Avonell was busy with the drama club.

We didn't spend as much time together as we had when we were younger, except for the two years that Prairie City had a girl's track team. We were both involved in that and spent time together at the track meets, where I ran the 220 yard dash and Avonell threw the shot put.

During the first couple years of college, Avonell and I did not see each other much. She attended the University of Northern Iowa in Cedar Falls, Iowa, and I was in Kansas at McPherson College.

I got married after my sophomore year at McPherson, and my husband transferred to UNI in 1968. We were living in Waterloo, so Avonell and I were able to renew our friendship.

One evening she was visiting me while my husband was working. I was popping popcorn, became distracted talking to Ave, and forgot to put the lid on the popcorn popper.

What a mess! We had popcorn behind the refrigerator, all over the kitchen, and even some in the bathroom, which was nearby. We laughed so hard we cried.

I had a surprise birthday party for Avonell while we lived in Waterloo. Could it have been for her 21st birthday? I don't recall that, but do remember how surprised she was when she came "to visit me" and discovered that her parents, Jolene, and Ben had all come to help her celebrate.

After my husband graduated from UNI, we moved to St. Louis so that I could complete my degree in Occupational Therapy. I was excited to learn that Avonell had accepted her first teaching position in Troy, Missouri, which was about an hour's drive from St. Louis.

Avonell arrived in Missouri before I did, and we were happy to still be able to see each other frequently.

When Avonell moved to Walt Hill, Nebraska to teach on the Omaha Reservation, it was more difficult for us to see each other, but we kept in touch by phone.

I went to Nebraska to drive her to have her first cataract surgery, and she amazed me after the surgery. Her instructions were to take it easy for a day or so, but she insisted on showing me around Sioux City instead. That was Avonell, always walking to the beat of her own drummer!

One summer after I had moved to North Carolina, Avonell came down to visit me. We started in Cherokee, North Carolina and traveled the full length of the Blue Ridge Parkway to Shenandoah National Park on the other end of the Parkway.

From there, it was a short drive to visit our friend, Claudia Hanson, who lives in Washington, DC. We stayed in a motel in Alexandria because it was easier to park there.

Claudia told us which subway train to take to meet her. We spent a couple days exploring Washington and really enjoyed seeing Claudia. Of course, the Air and Space Museum and the Native American Museum were two of Avonell's favorites.

We were two proud "country bumpkins" to be able ride the subway independently! But, imagine our surprise when we rode the shuttle bus back to our hotel and discovered that we had taken wrong bus and ended up at the wrong place! Thankfully, our driver took pity on us and drove us over to the correct one.

Avonell and I had such a good time on that trip that she brought her mother to visit me the next year. She drove part of the way on the Blue Ridge Parkway so her mother could see it.

Dorothy, being a flatlander from the Midwest, wasn't impressed by all the curves and trees. She told Avonell to get back on the highway, pronto!

We had a wonderful time while they were visiting me. A highlight of the trip was when we went to hear Raymond Fairchild, a famous fiddler who lives in Maggie Valley. Avonell wasn't very interested in music, but it made her happy to see her mother enjoying the concert so much.

Avonell and I had both always wanted to go to Alaska. After our trip to Washington to see Claudia, we decided that we would start saving for a trip to go there. We agreed that we would do this to celebrate our 65th birthdays together.

But, when the time came, we were both busy taking care of our mothers, so we postponed the trip until our 70th birthdays. By then, Avonell was not well enough to travel, so we never got to Alaska.

During the years that I stayed with my mother in Prairie City, Avonell and I spent a lot of time together. We enjoyed riding our bicycles around town in the evenings when it wasn't too hot. And when we needed respite from our responsibilities, we went to Des Moines or Newton for a few hours.

One year we took our mothers to see the hot air balloon races in Altoona, Iowa. As I recall, it rained, and we didn't see any balloons, but we had a good time having our pizza and coke picnic in the car anyway!

Mother's Day and Memorial Day were difficult for both Avonell and me this year. She called and requested to come down to visit me over Mother's Day so we wouldn't be alone.

I suggested that I go to Prairie City instead because she was not well enough to travel. We had a wonderful visit. Avonell wanted to go to the zoo, so that's what we did. I'm so thankful for that time together, because that was the last time I saw my life-long friend.

Avonell, my dear, sweet friend, I miss you terribly. But I rejoice with you that you are at peace, no longer suffering, and are now reunited with your wonderful family.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR AVONELL!