2018.A Better Year Than 2017 Was!

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In some respects 2017 was a very difficult time for me. My mother, who would have been 98 in May, succumbed to pneumonia in February. Of course losing one's mother is heart wrenching, but she was so ill, it was a relief when she was able to "go home".

My sister and I cared for her at my sister's house during her final illness. She had been walking without even needing a walker two weeks prior to her death.

Once she was bedfast, we were not equipped to take care of her because neither my sister nor I are nurses. I am an occupational therapist, and Kaye (my sister) is a dental assistant. We did not know how to perform the nursing care that Mom required.

We attempted to have her admitted to the hospice facility, but were told that she could not be admitted from home...she had to either be hospitalized or in a nursing home. We had a nurse once a week and a CNA three times/week, and that was all the assistance we received.

Initially, I was upset about this because I was concerned that we weren't able to give her the care that she needed. But, in the end, it was a blessing in disguise that we had this special time with her.

I cannot remember my mother when she was not singing. She sang doing housework, sang tending her flower bed and garden, and, of course, sang to us. So, when she was bedfast, the obvious thing to do was to sing to her. During the first week that she was bedfast, she was still able to sing with us.

One of the special things that happened during this time was that we got to witness her "talking" to people on the other side. The hospice nurse told us that she had one foot on earth and one in another realm. To Christians, that is considered Heaven. Other religions may have other names for it, or philosophies about what happens to the soul when a person dies.

During this time, she raised her arm in the air, pointing, and said "white". I wondered if she was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel that people talk about when describing a near death experience.

I asked her if it was a white light, and her reply was, "my Savior". My mother was a minister's daughter and had very strong Christian beliefs. People from other cultures might have described a similar incident in different ways.

In September, one of my best friends died of cancer. Her mother had died a couple weeks after mine. Avonell had requested to come and visit me over Mother's Day so neither of us would be alone during this difficult time for us.

I told her that she was not well enough to travel, and that I would go to her instead. When I arrived at her house, she stated that she wanted to go to the zoo. It was a hot day, and we did not stay very long, but I treasure the time that we had together that day. It was the last time that I saw her.

The deaths of these two very special people in my life have had a major impact on me this year, of course. However, they say that when God closes one door, He opens another one. And that's exactly what happened.

I discovered WA in November, and a whole new world opened up before me. Now, with the help of all the training available to us and our wonderful, supportive community, I'm focused on building a legacy for my son and grandson. The future is ours for the making!

Thank you to all my WA family who have been so supportive of me in 2017.

2018 is going to be a better, brighter, and wealthier year for all of us!

Carol

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Recent Comments

29

Hi Carol, Very Well Said my Friend. You are an inspiration and you have an gang of people in WA pulling for your Great Success.
Bless You,
Sam and Deb

Thanks, Sam and Deb. I treasure all my WA family, and it's so nice that we're all pulling for each other. Carol

Thank you for sharing, Carol. Blessings for you and your sister for your care-giving role.

My wife has been a care-giver for both her parents, her mother passing a couple of years ago and her father this past Monday (New Years Day). I lost my younger brother this past August at 55 yrs. old suddenly due to a heart attack. These events bring the raw reminder that life is fleeting and precious.

I pray for you and your family as those doors have shut. And, I pray for all of us to take advantage of the "open doors" we have before us.

Let's live life as a "one day program"!

~Bob

Hi, Bob.
Thanks for your kind words. I'm sorry for your recent loss of your father-in-law. You are right...life on earth is a cycle that begins with birth and ends with death, and it is truly precious and fleeting. None of us get out of this world alive.

It's the sudden deaths such as your brother's that are the hardest, I think. Similarly, my sister died at age 51 during an out patient surgical procedure.

They are gone, but not forgotten. They live on in our hearts and memories.

Thanks for your prayers. Will be praying for you, your wife, and family as well.

We'll take things one day at a time and be stronger for each day that passes.

Carol

Carol, thank you for sharing those precious moments with your mother and friend. Cared for my mom six years until her passing 8/11/01. A dedicated family person, minister's wife, farmer's daughter, and mother of six, her desire was to not be admitted to a hospice or other care facility as dementia (Alzheimers) ravaged her body.

Despite votes from three siblings to have her admitted, I along with a sister cared for her until her death around family members.
Nothing on earth can equal that experience and opportunity.

Druids and Peruvians celebrate the input from their ancestors with a yearly ceremony. Your mom is overlooking your daily life activities.

The Best To You and Family in 2018

Thanks for your comments, Dolrah. You are right. We were truly blessed when we have the opportunity to minister to our loved ones' final days on this earth.

What is the name of the yearly ceremony Druids and Peruvians celebrate? I would like to learn about it.

As I was responding to you, I realized that I had written a post that was too long for here, so watch for a new one from me. Don't know what the title will be yet. Won't be able to post it until around 5AM tomorrow, since I haven't been premium for 3 months yet.

Carol







Sorry about your Mom, Carol. My Momma went homeward in 2015, coming up on 3 years now. Still hurts, but I know where she is. I moved here to SC a few months after she died to care for my Pop, and I kind of drifted a bit. Being obedient to God, yet wondering what was next in my life. Last spring I fell in love, got married in June, we live next door to Pop, and started with WA 3 months ago. So definitely, as one door closes another will open. Prayers for your comfort and determination, knowing that our Moms still watch over us, cheering us on from the grandstand of saints. Peace my friend. :-)

Thanks for you kind words, Bob. And congrats on your marriage and new baby....WA that is! My Mom sang all the time...now she's singing with the angels.

Thank you Carol, it does good to read your lines, because I am right there with my stepfather.

Thanks, N. Will keep you in my prayers. Carol

Thanks for sharing the story. It is such a blessing for your mom. My father passed away a few years ago, I am not able to stay beside him at the last moment when he was in the hospital, he wish I could be there but I can't not make it. I missed him very much, what I want to tell him is I love him very much. I still pray for him in my heart wish his soul could get pace in heaven.

Thanks for your comments, Lorilee. I know it must have been painful for you not being able to be with him at the last. I wasn't with my mother when she died, either. I was scheduled to work, and my sister sent me home. She died the next day. But I was OK with it because of the quality time we had together beforehand.

You can still tell him how much you love him. I believe he will hear you. I talk to my Mama a lot.

Another thing that grief counselors recommend is writing him a letter telling him everything you wanted to say, but didn't have the chance.

Will keep you in my prayers, Lorilee. Carol

Thank you so much for the comfort words. That is good idea about writing letter to people who passed away. I keep you in my prayers too.

You're welcome, dear friend. Glad to be able to help a little. Carol

Nice story, sad, but heartfelt. Glad to have you here.

Thanks, Alex. I wanted to end my post on a positive note talking about WA because it is a bright spot in my life now.. I didn't want it to be too much of a downer. I am sad at times, of course, but WA and especially the community brighten my days now. (and nights, as evidenced by the time I post things in the middle of the night!)

And the future is bright, thanks to WA!
Carol

Thanks, Carol, that was a nice reply. WA is a bright spot in my life also. Let's hope it becomes a shining star.....

Hi Carol,
What a blessing it was for you to have the knowledge that your mom was fluttering between realms and getting ready to pass. I saw that when my mom transitioned too. It helps.

Now with WA, we will all rock 2018!

We are the lucky few who get to experience that transition. Thanks for your comment, Annie. Carol

I so relate to this Carol. My mom passed at 96 and probably would have gotten to 104 if not for falling. The last year was special with hummingbirds and other things she liked!

Sorry about your loss, Mike, but so happy you had that special year together.

With my Mom it was singing. We sang to her when we had to turn her to distract her from the pain. Mom, my sister, and brother were all singing "Old McDonald" a lot! She sang with us until she got too weak.

It was a running joke that every time we came to what animal Old McDonald had, we stopped and let Mom fill in the blank. Most of the time, he had a pig. She seemed stuck on that. One time when we were singing with her, Old McDonald had 3 pigs and a farm!

Those silly little things are special memories.
Carol

Oh Carol. I understand. We lost my Dad a few years ago and it was so hard. He was in the hospital for 2 weeks but could not speak for the last week. It was so hard. He was not ready, not done with life. He had so much he still wanted to do. So many ideas and dreams.

I grew up as an only child in the woods so we were very close. He was my best friend in many ways. He was medically retired when I was a kid so we had much more time together than most kids get with their Dads. We gardened, built trails, hauled rocks, built on the homestead, collected leaves for the garden, went fishing, gold mining and traveling and enjoyed eating out when in town. We played board games and enjoyed reading about science, history and politics. He was intelligent, curious, always wanting to learn new things and passed that curiosity on to me. He was amazing and I miss him so much.

Your Mom singing sounds so nice. My Dad whistled.

I feel the same about WA as well.
I am glad you are here!
Jessica

Thanks, Jessica. I'm sorry for your loss as well. My dad died 30 years ago, and though I still miss him, the pain is not nearly as intense now. Time does heal.

Thank you Carol. I am sorry for your loss of your mother so recently too.

Thanks, Jessica. I have received a lot of nice responses from members who have also lost loved ones.

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