Day 5 of My Writing Challenge- "Overcoming my fear"
Life got in the way of my early writing, with weekend commitments, both morning and evening, so here I am, now, so bear with me.
I woke early, before I needed to hit the road, and though I couldn't sit and actually put it all down, I did spend time on scrawling an outline, and writing down future article ideas, which seem to be flowing out of me, that I wish to write. This, to me, is part of that discipline, in the writing process, that helps keep me focused with the task at hand. When I get a flash of insight, and write it down, then I can put it officially away, until I choose get to it, rather than starting to write that article in my head.
What I'd like to share with you, today, is why writing has, always, been a challenge.
FEAR!
I was number 3, in a family of ""Brainiacs". My oldest brother excelled in rhetoric, and a true artist and poet, as well as, being able to do calculus, and my sister had a photographic memory, and excelled in English, history, and languages...Russian, Serbian and French!
Then I came along. I exhibited a form of verbal dyslexia, before anyone really paid much attention to Dyslexia, at all. I would say the word, "magazine', as 'mazagine", and could not hear what I was saying wrong, which sent my brother and sister into hilarious laughter, and me into tears of frustration.
I found, later in my years, when I became a teacher, that this also, went into my numbers. I could see them right, but a 369, could come out 967, as it was only with those numbers.No wonder I had so many problems with math!
That being said, I had undiagnosed Learning Disablilities, for which I was later, very happy to have NOT been given a label! With this being the case, I struggled, and often muddled through. The good thing is, I have always enjoyed a challenged, and worked harder to excel, and I loved reading and school.
Come 9th grade, not being considered, a brilliant student...sometimes happy to get that D, especially in Algebra 2, second time around, I was placed in an average English class.
That placement ended, as soon as my mother saw it.
My Mom, marched up to the school and insisted that I be put in Mr. Mason's English class, who had already had my brother and sister. Back then, you could do that!
Mr. Mason was Honors English!
First day, with Mr. Mason, we were presented with a 7 page, single spaced, packet of "Never! Never! Rules".
"In this packet, you will find all the rules of grammar, which, IF you're sitting in here, today, you should ALREADY know! If, I see ONE rule broken, I will read no further, and you will receive an automatic "U". My reason is this? If you don't know the rule, here it is. If you don't, and proceed, anyway, it's simply because, you were, just too LAZY to look it up!".
I received a couple of "U's", right off the bat, which, of course taught me to "Look it up!".
I made it through, and intellectually, I could participate in discussions, and anything verbal, rather easily, but what a way to squelch my creativity! Whenever, I wrote I was always paying more attention to grammar, rather than what I wanted to say in my writing, for fear of "criticism and failure".
The upside of this, as I learned to face a challenge, no matter the obstacle, in order to grow and improve. For this, I am forever grateful to Mr. Mason for his high, unrelentless standards, not to mention my ability to, now, and for many years, write with some clarity, without the embarrassment of how ignorant I would appear. I also learned far more in my life, from my failures, rather than my victories, and have also learned to turn those failures into stepping stones toward success.
To this day, I'm one of the first that will spot the errors, in others writing, but I'm not paid to point that out, but, truth be known, it's rather a silent victory.
Many teachers have been my mentors, but Mr. Mason was one of a kind!
As an educator, it saddens me, that teachers, today, are not allowed to have these high standards. Mediocrity is the new standard, with emphasis on standardized testing, a topic for another day.
Thank you, for stopping by, and taking your time to read, my piece. Comments are appreciated, but...please refrain from correcting my grammar! I'll lie, and say it's a typo!
Happy Veterans' Day to all of our Serviceman! Without you, we would not live in this beautiful, "Home of the Free and the Brave'!
Good night, and have a great weekend!
Barb
Recent Comments
32
Thanks for checking, today, Rog!
I went to post my progress for day 6, and found i'd used my quota for, today, by posted after 12, last night!
Now, I have to wait. Do you think I should post day 6 right after midnight, or bundle 6&7? Hmmm.
You're probably, sound asleep! ZZZ
Barb
Hi, Rog! I'm now comfortable with that time...except . tonight, I'm beat! LOL 2 more hours...ZZZZ!
Thank you very much for this great and honest blog Barb and you have done very well even though you had this fear of writing. Just keep doing what you are doing and take it a day at a time. xxx
Gosh, Cheryl!
I sent you a reply, which I thought, was, about this.. some tips for speaking.
I've been losing posts, and other brilliant things, in cyberspace...The reason to complete the training! LOL
Thank, you, for your encouragement! It spurs me onward!
Barb
Very honest post. Your writing style should serve you well on your site. I stopped teaching when I realized the students had more rights than the teachers.
Debbie
Thank you, for your comments, Debbie!
I need that feed back, so I can see if I'm one the right track. .
Sooo, helpful, for my improvement.
As for the students? It goes right back to the parents...lack of accountability for their child's poor performance. If I could have just dealt the kids, and truth be known, I had my own little world, where I could try things that didn't work, since nobody could or wanted to mess with them. One year, I had 6 kids, all in the same classroom, that later, became incarcerated, at the same time, including one's own mother!
I don't miss it!
Thanks, Again, Debbie!!
Barb
Thank, again, Debbie!
I just spent 10 minutes, at least, answering these great comments, and they disappeared!!??
Here, I go again!
Thank for the style comments! This gives me the idea that maybe I'm on the right track, which is very valuable for my progress!
Parents were the major problem, and their lack of accountability for their child's poor performance.
Pay NO attention to Johnny, until, Johnny is about to fail! Then, come up to school, and find someone else to blame! Then apply pressure on administration! End result? We are forced to pass them! Enough said about this "rigged" ballgame! Teachers are the losers, forced to comprise their principles.
I don't miss it!!
Thanks, again, Debbie!
B
Lost my first reply, Bill, so if it appears from cyberspace, again, I apologize for the redundancy.
Wow! I'd have never thought! I never would have thought, at this phase of my journey, about that vision!
Gold!
Thank you, again, Bill!
Barb
Mike, this is so true!
It's becoming a "want to!", rather than a "Have to"!
I'm beginning to feel that "freedom of speech", without condemnation.
I'm also learning to reach out and ask those questions, which I did, the night before. Awesome response! Got the "blog rules', and "spam"!
I'm amazed, daily at the breadth and scope of this fabulous community.
Thanks, again, Mike
B
Mike, it's becoming a "Want to", instead of a "Have to". The fear has already begun to thaw, releasing a plethora of ideas to be released.
Amazing!
Thank you, again!
B
Thank you, Nick!
I appreciate you taking the time, which is, so, valuable to each of us.!
B
Thank you, Nick! I appreciate your time, which is, so, valuable to each of us, here, and the encouragement!
B
Very nice post. I have the opposite problem. It is hard for me to speak face to face or in a group because by the time I think of something to say, that topic has already passed. It's always been that way for me. But I can write like the wind. I always consider that I'm like Moses, slow of tongue.
Wishing you much success!
Deb
Hello, Debbie!
Here's a hint that I use, especially when in a discussion, and I have to listen to others, before I get to speak.
As another is talking, I listen for "What this means to me?"
As a thought comes up, I simply jot down, briefly, "What comes to my mind?", as a result."
Then, when it is my turn, those little notes, remind me of, just, what it was, that I wanted to convey. I am speaking from the heart, about "What I know.", instead of "What, I think, they want to hear!"
Given a topic, such as, "How to control, weeds growing in my lawn?" With a good speaking ability, I would sound like an idiot!
I don't know that stuff!" I would clam-up, and freeze, as well!!
The here is point, here is this. I need to be clear about what I really want to say, as it pertains to me! Saves on rambling on, as well, since the point has been made.
It takes practice, like my writing, but it works!
Face the fear, and try it!
I hope this helps!
Thank, you for this feedback, which gives me clarity, on some of the habits, that are now, automatic.
Barb
Life must have been tough as a child but I am so impressed with how you have come through those challenges and your positive mindset. I am also the first to spot mistakes. I was lucky enough to have a very stern and stringent Junior school teacher and I learnt the grammar rules early in life.
I am pleased to tell you I spotted no mistakes in this very thoughtful post.
With Grace and Gratitude
Karen
Funny thing, Karen...I was the first to graduate from college with a career suited to me...average burn-out rate? 3 years for teaching Emot/Disturbed. I did it for 18 'til my principal finally insisted I get out, when a girl student punched me. I wouldn't give her Selena magazine, 'til she finished her work. What an ogre! Ha-ha!
Junior high ? More essential than High school!! Get those basics, and you can learn anything you put you turn your mind to.
I'm pleased to know, I passed!!
Thanks for the read!
Barb
Dropping by to see how you are going Barb, thank you for sharing I have to agree with you some teachers just have that ability to get the message across and that message stays with us. There seems to be a move to mediocrity within the educations system, which is ok teaching creativity seems to be the song of the day, teaching the basics and creativity is even better.
See more comments
What a giggle, yes sweetheart, you're not alone, we just have to
try harder heh?
I'm still trying, I know I'm not stupid, but I know I have some searching questions.
WA will help us to find what we want, and to help us to spell hopefully.
Cheers, Jae
Spellcheck, Jae!! Ha!
Don't let spelling interfere with writing, just type, and go back, and edit!
Where there's will, there's a way!Ha!
Barb