How to Banish Fear and Anxiety FOREVER

byAJTrimble1

9.1K followers

5 years ago

“The difference between those who succeed and those who fail isn’t what they have — it’s what they choose to see and do with their resources and their experience of life.” — Tony Robbins

Yesterday I posted some exercises on how to develop your creativity. And in that post, I promised that I would also show you how to use the skills you learn in those exercises to help overcome negative mindset issues such as fear, anxiety, etc.

Before we get too far, let me just preface this by saying I am not a doctor (although I did stay at a Holiday Inn once.) As such, take this post as just another tool for your toolbox. I am not diagnosing anything and there is no guarantee of a “cure”. In my experience working with coaching clients it works, but standard disclaimer: your results may vary.

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s begin.

State Management

I am assuming since you are taking the time to read a post with such a title, you have experienced some bad days at times, correct? I mean, no one other than my cat actually wakes up in the morning, yawns widely and stretches, and then says to themselves, “I think I’m going to have a crappy day and be miserable.”

But let me ask you this. Have you not also experienced a day where everything went right? Where everything life through at you seemed minor and you handled it, simply and efficiently, and you sailed on through your day? And I'll bet when you got to the end you said to yourself, “What an awesome day this was.”

Now ask yourself this: what was the difference? After all, you’re the same person, right? Nothing changed there. And unless you won the lottery or something, you likely didn’t have too many more resources on the good day that you had on the bad.

So, again, what’s the difference?

Both experiences stem from the mental state you were in at the time. And out thoughts and behaviors are all governed by the state we are in at any given moment. In other words, the state you are in dictates the actions you take. Make sense?

The Map is Not the Territory

Have you ever used a map to find your way around? Most of us have, and you would never mistake, say, a map of Texas for the actual state of Texas, right?

(By the way, you know how maps usually have a scale like 1 inch = 1 mile? I once created a map of the United States that had a scale of 1 mile = 1 mile. It was super accurate… but it was a total pain to fold. But I digress.)

There is a saying in psychology, specifically the branch called Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), that goes like this: The map is not the territory. Just like our map of Texas, you shouldn’t mistake reality with your interpretation of reality. The map is your mind, and as we have seen, the map can change drastically based on the metal state you’re in.

With that in mind, let’s look at how you can actually consciously take over and manage your state in a more positive way.

Mental Exercise

Here’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. How to banish fear and anxiety forever.

First things first. If you have not completed at least one or two rounds of the creativity exercises, do that now. It will increase your results with this method ten-fold.

Now, similar to our creativity exercise, I want you to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and visualize an image of a person or event that is causing you grief of some kind, be that fear, anxiety, depression, whatever. And, like before, I want you to make it as “real” as possible, imagining all the finer detail. Sights. Sounds. Smells. Etc. Try to activate all of you senses.

Do you have it? Great.

Animation

Now here’s something interesting. Everyone visualizes differently.

You may be seeing a still image, like a photograph. Or you may already be seeing an animated image, like a mini-movie. Perhaps the scene is in color. Maybe you see it in black and white.

The point is that what you are seeing is not reality. It is merely a representation — a map — of reality. And that’s the secret.

However you are seeing that image at the moment, here is where the magic begins…

Step One: Framing

Begin by taking that negative image and placing an imaginary frame around it. If you’re seeing a still image, give it a picture frame. If you’re seeing a “movie”, put it up on a screen in a theater. This takes the image away from you personally and places it “out there”, like on a table, where it is no longer attached to you.

Step Two: Shrinking and Darkening

Now, take that image and change the size. Imagine it shrinking smaller and smaller as it moves away from you. Shrink it so small it almost disappears. Also, if you are not already seeing it this way, make the image black and white, and then as it shrinks smaller and smaller, darken the image until it is almost black. Make is so dark that all you can see, if anything, is shadows.

If your image happens to contain sounds and smells, the process is the same. You can turn down the volume, or imagine the smell that normally turns your stomach drifts away (or better yet, imagine the smell morphing into one you enjoy like, say, warm chocolate-chip cookies or freshly cut grass. See step four.)

Step Three: Wash, Rinse, Repeat

Bring the image back to it’s original condition. Take a deep breath and repeat steps one and two. Do this process at least 10 times. You will begin to discover that with each pass the negative emotions you had attached to it begins to weaken. But there is more…

Step Four: In Living Color

Have you or someone you know ever tried to eliminate a bad habit, like smoking for example, often repeatedly, only to relapse a short time later again and again?

That’s because the biggest challenge with changing any habit is that our habits don’t live in a vacuum. You must find something to “fill the hole”. In other words, you have to replace the bad habit with a good one.

The same goes for your mental state. You want to not only eliminate the image like we did in steps one through three, but you also want to replace it with something positive.

The easiest way I have found to do this is to take the image and drastically change it. Take the person or event, change it to a silly cartoon image, and fill it in with the brightest colors you can imagine.

For instance, if it is a person who is causing your fear or anxiety, blow them up like a Macy’s Day Parade balloon. Give them a huge head, fat hands, a silly smile, and the most ridiculous outfit you can think of to wear. Then visualize a gigantic cartoon sewing needle and pop the balloon. Have a good laugh about how silly it all is.

And, like step three, you want to repeat this process at least 10 times.

You will now notice that between shrinking the negative image and blowing up the positive image, that thought no longer has power over you. You have now associated a happy, silly, and humorous image with that former negative person or event. You will never look at them the same way again.

From this point forward, any time this person or event comes into your life, you will no longer experience fear or anxiety. If you still have a bit of negative state still lingering around, just go through the process again. I promise you will get better and faster with practice.

Conclusion

Many people have commented on how positive I am, even in the midst of tremendous struggle. If you need proof, check out my cross-country move posts:

https://my.wealthyaffiliate.com/ajtrimble1/blog/not-so-happy-trails-lol
https://my.wealthyaffiliate.com/ajtrimble1/blog/not-so-happy-trails-pt-2

Indeed, some act as if I am something special to be that way. I assure you I am not. Believe it or not, at one time many years ago I was on massive amounts of anti-depressants and suicidal. But then I got tired of feeling that way and did something about it.

The difference is that long ago I trained myself to do the above process.

Not to say I don’t have “bad” days. We all do. When I begin to experience one, however, I immediately begin working through the steps, and within minutes I have changed my state to a more positive one.

And THAT, my friend, it the real secret to my success.

Good luck and keep us posted. Give it a try and post in the comments how your first experience went. Remember, we all learn best when we learn together. :-)

Take care.