Are You Chasing the Dragon?
Achieving rank in anything can be quite motivating, particularly when you are moving up steadily day by day.
If you scroll through my blog, you will see that several weeks ago I posted that I had broken the 200 level within WA rankings.
And you will also see a few weeks later I broke 100.
Although I am quite proud of my accomplishments, I don’t mention this to brag or pat myself on the back. Rather I have noticed a strange feeling lately that I shall call “Chasing the Dragon”.
I woke up this morning and realized that I had developed a quirky habit. Before even getting out of bed, I reached over, grabbed my smartphone, and logged into WA to check my rank.
Of course, this sounds exiciting, but in many ways it's actually bad.
You see, when I first began, it was all about helping. I’m not the best or the brightest, but I do have some level of knowledge that I felt could share with others.
And based on the response I got from most people, apparently, at least on some level, I was able to connect. It felt incredible. Since breaking the 200 mark, it started as a bit of a game. “Oh, look,” I would say, “I just dropped another 30 points… yay me.”
More recently, however, it morphed from a game into an obsession, much like an addiction, hence my choice of the term, chasing the dragon.
The Roller Coaster Effect
When I first broke 110, I was at 93. Awesome! I kept writing for WA and kept helping.
The next day I was 89. Sweet! Still writing and helping.
The day after that, I was back up to 90. “What the hell?!? I wrote more yesterday than ever before.”
So, I doubled down. I stayed up late and got up earlier. At work I would log in any time I had a few minutes and answer someone’s question, respond to a post, or give a site review. Not necessarily to help, per se, but to get the number moving in the “right” direction again.
And I my rank went back down. Cool. Back on track. And then it went back up. Damn it!
And then down. And then up. And then… well, I think you get the point.
My Obsession
The problem is, in my quest for higher and higher rank – in chasing the dragon – I started neglecting writing for my own sites so I could spend more time writing for WA. I started neglecting work. I started to neglect my family. And, perhaps worst of all, I lost sight of why I was doing it in the first place. I started caring more about the number than truly helping.
My Apology
Therefore, I owe you an apology. I am sorry.
I will no longer chase the dragon. If my rank goes down, great. If it goes up, so be it. While I still maintain my commitment to becoming an Ambassador, it will be out of a return to my desire to serve, not because of some arbitrary “grade”.
You are the reason I am here. I kneel before you and humbly serve. Here’s to never losing sight of my misson -- or my passion -- again.
Are you chasing the dragon?
Recent Comments
23
I think its's completely human to want to be
successful. I don't think it's wrong to challenge
yourself. We musn't forget the essential. Apparenty
you know where your essdential is.
So stay proud of your accomplishement!
Ingrid
I think it's something that happens to many of us.
I was at 102 on Friday Sunday 110.... But.... I got more work done on my sites
Than ever, planned out the 1st. Potion of a course, and started the manual...
I did feel guilty for not being as involved, and yet I'm ok with it.
😎 Shaunna
Perfect. That's exactly what I was talking about. I still intend to help as much as I can, but I'm not going to neglect my own commitments any more. Whatever will be will be. :-)
AJ,
I never was chasing it and never plan to I love helping the
members here at WA and since December still do mostly
behind the scenes with PM's - which really do not have
anything to do with the rank system - so yes mine has dropped
but that has nothing to do with the person that I still am and
plan to be in the future!
Bless you for being the person you are and knowing
now that chasing the dragon is not going to help
your business grow ::))
Susan
Thank you. That is the "model" I intend on following from now on. I won't intentionally cut back, because my biggest passion in life is helping others, but at the same time I'm done chasing. I will simply help as best I can, when I can, and if the rank floats around, so be it.
Hi AJ,
In answer to your question about chasing the dragon? Nope, I'm TRAINING THE DRAGON!! (or at least I'm trying too! Lol)
But I'm glad that you got back on track! We can "all" loose our focus on what we are here for and why.
So, hang in there my friend you are doing an awesome job!!
Donna:)
P.S. Apology accepted, but not necessary;)
Shaunna,it is a movie! It's a little cartoon and it's called "How to Train Your Dragon". It's really cute, so if you have children, grandchildren or just a big kid yourself, you need to watch it. ;)
My background is medical sciences and is computer illiteracy. I come to WA so that I could have tool to spread my knowledge and to people needed, which is not shown in the WA rank, but do help people.
That's awesome and I agree. I think that there is a lot we can do here than has no impact on our rank, but has incredible impact on other people. Thanks for your response.
I am sure as you chased the dragon, you helped many people develop their sites and you must be with admirers.
Congratulations to that!
Thanks. I don't deny that I was helping. Still, I can't help but to feel that some of it was with the wrong intent on my part. I guess I just had a bit of a guilt complex over it, so I've changed my focus and will now let the chips fall where they may. :-)
A man who ‘tells on himself’....Wow....I bow down to you. Great observation of how you had been spending your energy and how that affected you. You sharing how you chose to shift your focus is so inspiring. Awesome. Thank you.
Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm all about sharing my mistakes if it can help someone else avoid repeating them... now if I could just get my kids to listen to me. lol.
Sometimes in reaching we lose sight of what the real prize is. Job well done on seeing what is the right priority instead of a number it must always be about people and helping people. Yes the number and rank is wonderful but our priority must be on our business and of helping others.
Exactly. Don't get me wrong; the number is still works as a motivator, but only insomuch as a reflection of how much I am helping. It's about service and not just some random "trophy".
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We do not chase the dragon! We have to focus on our website as it means everything to us, literally.
C & P
That's awesome. I think that's a big part of where I went "off the rails". I got so caught up in chasing the number here that I was not working on my site. WA is great... but they ain't paying my bills. lol